Leftenants is the lowest grade thet helps pick up It the coppers. may suit folks thet go agin a body with a soul in 't, An' aint contented with a hide without a bagnet hole in 't ; But glory is a kin' o' thing I shan't pursue no furder, Coz thet 's the off'cer's parquisite,-yourn 's on'y jest the murder. Wal, arter I gin glory up, thinks I at least there's one Thing in the bills we aint hed yit, and thet's the GLORIOUS FUN; Ef once we git to Mexico, we fairly may presume we All day an' night shall revel in the halls o' Mon tezumy. I'll tell ye wut my revels wuz, an' see how you would like 'em ; We never gut inside the hall: the nighest ever I come Wuz stan'in' sentry in the sun (an', fact, it seemed a cent'ry) A ketchin' smells o' biled an' roast thet come out thru the entry, An' hearin', ez I sweltered thru my passes an' re passes, A rat-tat-too o' knives an' forks, a clinkty-clink o' glasses: I can't tell off the bill o' fare the Gin'rals hed inside; All I know is, thet out o' doors a pair o' soles wuz fried, An' not a hunderd miles away from ware this child wuz posted, A Massachusetts citizen wuz baked an' biled an' roasted; The only thing like revellin' thet ever come to me Wuz bein' routed out o' sleep by thet darned revelee. They say the quarrel 's settled now; fer I've some doubt on 't, my part 'T'll take more fish-skin* than folks think to take the rile clean out on 't ; At any rate, I'm so used up I can't do no more fightin', The on'y chance thet 's left to me is politics or writin' ; * [In the Northern States a fish-skin is used in the place of isinglass to clarify coffee.-J. C. H.] * Now, ez the people 's gut to hev a milingtary man," An' I aint nothin' else jest now, I've hit upon a plan; The can'idatin' line, you know, 'ould suit me to a T, An' ef I lose, 't wunt hurt my ears to lodge another flea; So I'll set up ez can'idate fer any kin' o' office, (I mean fer any thet includes good easy-cheers an’ soffies; Fer ez to runnin' fer a place ware work's the time o' day, You know thet 's wut I never did,-except the other way ;) Ef it's the Presidential cheer fer wich I'd better run, Wut two legs anywares about could keep up with my one? There aint no kin' o' quality in can'idates, it's said, So useful ez a wooden leg,—except a wooden head; There's nothin' aint so poppylar-(wy, it's a parfect sin To think wut Mexico hez paid fer Santy Anny's pin;t * [In allusion to the numerous Generals who have filled the office of President. General Taylor was then (1848) being brought forward as the popular favourite.-J. C. H.] +[Santa Anna, some time Dictator of Mexico, wore a wooden leg.-J. C. H.] K |