CALISH, with whom he was joined in a project or undertaking of fome importance. CALISH, being a paffionate man, gave ALCHEIC one day a found drubbing; which he took very patiently, waited the return of CALISH's good-humour, kept ftill a fair corefpondence with him; and by that means brought the affair, in which they were joined, to a happy iffue, and gained to himself immortal honour by his remarkable temper and moderation.

I have lately received a letter from a correspondent in FOURLI; by which I learn, that, fince my departure, ALCHEIC, falling into a bad ftate of health, has fairly hanged himfelf; and has died univerfally regretted and applauded in that country. So virtuous and noble a life, fays each FOURLIAN, could not be better crowned than by fo noble an end; and ALCHEIC has proved by this, as well as by all his other actions, what was his conftant principle during his life, and what he boafted of near his last moments, that a wife man is fcarcely inferior to the great god VITZLI. This is the name of the fupreme deity among the FoUrlians.

The notions of this people, continued PALAMEDES, are as extraordinary with regard to good manners and fociableness as with regard to morals. My friend ALCHEIC formed once a party for my entertainment, compofed of all the prime wits and philofophers of FOURLI; and each of us brought his mess along with him to the place where we affembled. I obferved one of them to be worfe provided than the reft, and offered him a share of my mess, which happened to be a roasted pullet: And I could not but remark, that he and all the rest of the company fmiled at my fimplicity. I was told, that ALCHEIC had once so much intereft with his club as to prevail with them to eat in common, and that he had made use of an artifice for that purpose. He perfuaded those, whom he observed to be worst provided, to offer their mess to the company; after which, the others,

who had brought more delicate fair, were ashamed not to make the fame offer. This is regarded as fo extraordinary an event, that it has fince, as I learn, been recorded in the history of ALCHEIC's life, compofed by one of the greatest geniufes of FOURLI.

Pray, faid I, PALAMEDES, when you were at FOURLI, did you also learn the art of turning your friends into ridicule, by telling them ftrange ftories, and then laughing at them, if they believed you. I affure you, replied he, had I been disposed to learn fuch a leffon, there was no place in the world more proper. My friend, fo often mentioned, did nothing, from morning to night, but fneer, and banter, and rally; and you could fcarcely ever diftinguish whether he were in jeft or earneft. But you think, then, that my story is improbable; and that I have used, or rather abused, the privilege of a traveller? To be fure, faid I, you were but in jeft. Such barbarous and favage manners are not only incompatible with a civilized, intelligent people, fuch as you faid these were, but are scarcely compatible with human nature. They exceed all we ever read of among the MINGRELIANS and TOPINAMBous.

Have a care, cried he, have a care! You are not aware that you are fpeaking blafphemy, and are abufing your favourites the GREEKS, efpecially the ATHENIANS, whom I have couched all along under these bizarre names I employed. If you confider aright, there is not one ftroke of the foregoing character which might not be found in the man of higheft merit at ATHENS, without diminishing in the leaft from the brightness of his character. The amours of the GREEKS, their marriages*, and the expofing of their children, cannot but strike you immediately. The death of USBEK is an exact counter-part to that of CÆSAR.

parallel

* The laws of ATHENS allowed a man to marry his fifter by the father. SOLON's law forbids pæderafty to flaves, as being an act of too great dignity for fuch mean perfons.

All to a trifle, faid I, interrupting him: You did not mention that USBEK was an usurper.

I did not, replied he; left you fhould discover the parallel I aimed at. But even adding this circumftance, we fhould make no fcruple, according to our fentiments of morals, to denominate BRUTUS and CASSIUS ungrateful traitors and affaffins; though you know that they are, perhaps, the highest characters of all antiquity; and the ATHENIANS erected statues to them, which they placed near thofe of HARMODIUS and ARISTOGITON, their own deliverers. And if you think this circumftance, which you mention, fo material to abfolve these patriots, I fhall compenfate it by another, not mentioned, which will equally aggravate their crime. A few days before the execution of their fatal purpose, they all fwore fealty to CESAR; and protefting to hold his perfon ever facred, they touched the altar with thofe hands which they had already armed for his deftruction *.

I need not remind you of the famous and applauded ftory of THEMISTOCLES, and of his patience towards EURYBIADES the SPARTAN, his commanding officer, who, heated by debate, lifted his cane to him in a council of war (the same thing as if he had cudgelled him), Strike! cries the ATHENIAN, ftrike!

but bear me.

You are too good a fcholar not to discover the ironical SOCRATES and his ATHENIAN club in my last ftory; and you will certainly obferve, that it is exactly copied from XENOPHON, with a variation only of the names t. And I think I have fairly made it appear, that an ATHENIAN man of merit might be fuch a one as with us would pafs for inceftuous, a parricide, an affaffin, an ungrateful, perjured traitor, and fomething elfe too abominable to be named; not to mention his rufticity and ill manners. And having lived in this manner, his death might be entirely

* APPIAN. Bell. Civ. lib. iii. SUETONIUS in vita CÆSARIS. + Mem. Soc. lib. iii. fub fine.

tirely fuitable: he might conclude the scene by a defperate act of self-murder, and die with the most abfurd blafphemies in his mouth. And notwithstanding all this, he shall have statues, if not altars, erected to his memory; poems and orations shall be compofed in his praife; great fects shall be proud of calling themfelves by his name; and the most distant pofterity fhall blindly continue their admiration : Though were fuch a one to arise among themselves, they would juftly regard him with horror and execration.

I might have been aware, replied I, of your artitifice. You feem to take pleasure in this topic: and are indeed the only man I ever knew, who was well acquainted with the ancients, and did not extremely admire them. But instead of attacking their philofophy, their eloquence, or poetry, the usual subjects of controverfy between us, you now feem to impeach their morals, and accuse them of ignorance in a fcience, which is the only one, in my opinion, in which they are not furpaffed by the moderns. Geometry, phyfics, aftronomy, anatomy, botany, geography, navigation; in these we juftly claim the fuperiority: But what have we to oppose to their moralifts? Your representation of things is fallacious. You have no indulgence for the manners and customs of different ages. Would you try a GREEK or RoMAN by the common law of ENGLAND? Hear him defend himself by his own maxims; and then pro

nounce.

There are no manners fo innocent or reasonable, but may be rendered odious or ridiculous, if meafured by a standard unknown to the perfons; efpecially if you employ a little art or eloquence in aggravating fome circumstances and extenuating others, as befts fuits the purpose of your difcourfe. All these artifices may eafily be retorted on you. Could I inform the ATHENIANS, for instance, that there was a nation in which adultery, both active and paffive,

fo

fo to speak, was in the highest vogue and esteem; in which every man of education chofe for his miftrefs a married woman, the wife, perhaps, of his friend and companion; and valued himself upon thefe infamous conquefts, as much as if he had been several times a conqueror in boxing or wrestling at the Olympic games: in which every man alfo took a pride in his tameness and facility with regard to his own wife, and was glad to make friends or gain interest by allowing her to prostitute her charms; and even, without any fuch motive, gave her full liberty and indulgence: I ask what fentiments the Athenians would entertain of fuch a people; they who never mentioned the crime of adultery but in conjunction with robbery and poisoning? Which would they admire moft, the villany or the meanness of fuch a conduct?

Should I add, that the fame people were as proud of their flavery and dependance as the ATHENIANS of their liberty; and though a man among them were oppreffed, difgraced, impoverished, infulted, or imprisoned by the tyrant, he would ftill regard it as the highest merit to love, ferve, and obey him; and even to die for his fmalleft glory or fatisfaction.These noble GREEKS would probably afk me, whether I fpoke of a human fociety, or of fome inferior, fervile fpecies ?

It was then I might inform my Athenian audience, that these people, however, wanted not spirit and bravery. If a man, fay I, though their intimate friend, fhould throw out, in a private company, a raillery against them, nearly approaching any of thofe with which your generals and demagogues every day regale each other in the face of the whole city, they never can forgive him but in order to revenge themfelves; they oblige him immediately to run them through the body, or be himself murdered. And if a man, who is an absolute stranger to them, should defire them, at the peril of their own life, to cut the

throat