six weeks, and I han't seen no signs of his money the whull time. You understand, he keeps a promisin', and a promisin', and a promisin', but his pockets is painful empty; and I wunt say but what he owes old Sambo, the colored man, a whull grist o' fourpences for blackin' his boots, runnin' of arn'ds, and sich like small chores.

Ned. And you 're sure that's he that we met out here?

Dix. You wouldn't want me to take my Bible oath on it, would you, mister? If you don't, I kind o' notion that that ere feller was Jovanny Vaganty, and nobody else, or my name isn't Welcome-here Dix.

Ned. Well, Mr. Dix, I am much obliged to you. Good morning, sir. (Exeunt NED and TOM MATHEWS. Dix. Shockin' purlite! Wa-a-l, nëow, I jest wonder what them twu smart young sparks want o' Jovanny? (Lays his finger on his nose.) I shouldn't be surprised if I smelt some thing tarnation strong. I'll make Jovanny pay up, as sure as blazes.

(Dix re-enters his house, and finds the Count alone in

his room.

Count. Landlord, who asked you in?

Dix. Well, I du suppose I jest asked myself in. You see, Jovanny, you've been going now on tick for six weeks, and 1 kind o' conceit I should like to see the color of your money, jest out o' curiosity—nothin' else, you know. Here's the bill. (Presents Count a bill.)

Count. Very well, Dix, very well-I'll attend to it. Just leave it on the table there, will you?

Dix. That game won't do no longer, Jovanny. You see, you've worked me through that mill a whull grist o' times already. I've left three bills for you on that table, and that's twice more than I ever did for anybody else.

Count. Well, just step in again in half an hour, will you, Dix? I am very busy at present.

Dix. Won't pass, that. By Gum, Jovanny, I don't stir a peg from this spot, I 've a notion, till I've pocketed the money. Count. Insolence! Peste! I vill leaf de house.

Dix. Wa-a-l, I calculate we'll agree about that when you've settled.

Count. Settled! Vere's your bill?—(Dıx gives it to him.)-Eh! vat all dese scharge? (Reads.) To six weeks board and lodgeeng, at tree dollare per veek-(you tell me two dollare ven I come!)-eighteen dollare!

To fuel during that time-(va-a-t dat !)-six dollare!
To lights-(mon Dieu !)-two dollare!

To extras-(milles tonnerres !)—four dollare!

To sundries (vat soondries?)-five dollare, fifty cent!
To interest on amount,-say-(cochon !)-fifty cent!

Totale,

Thirty-six dollare! Oh, c'est trop dis is infamous. Ah, vat you call extrass, e-h-h? Vat you call sondrees?

Dix. Wa-a-l, I call sodgers for breakfast, extras,—and lunch and beer, extras,—and dinner after time, extras,—and horse-radish, and garding truck, and long sarce, extras,—and Welsh rabbit for supper, extras—

Count. Dat extrass, e-h-h? Vell, vat sondrees?.

Dix. Sundries?-Wa-a-1, I calculate readin' my paper's sundries and another blanket's sundries-and gettin' your grate sot is-sundries--and—

Count. And you tink I pay him, eh? Nevare!

Dix. Neow, Jovanny, I must say it 's darned mean in you to grumble at my bill, considerin' you 've won so much from me at dominoes-darned mean!

Count. Begar, I vill not pay him. Peste!-Diable!—'tis von grand imposition.

Dix. You can't come that over me, Jovanny. You jest better say nothin' about it, and deöwn with your dust, or you 'll get into a peck o' troubles. You 've got to du it, Jovanny.

Count. But I have not de l'argent-I 'ave no moneys. Dix. Wun't du, mister. I've had some hard customers afore now-(winks at Count)—and some shockin' poor; but none warn't so dry but what the law could squeeze some mysture out on 'em.

Count. But, Monsieur Deex, I give you my parole

d'honneur, the word of a gentleman, that you shall be paid

to-morrow.

Dix. Can't wait, rayally neöw, Jovanny. Fact is, you 've dodged round that mast most too often.. No, Jovanny, you don't leave this house without shellin' out the pewter.

Count. Well, then, sign your bill, and I'll pay you. But you von grand excessif

Dix (eagerly). Scoundrel! Did you say scoundrel, Jovanny?

Count. No, sare; you von grand impostor.
Dix. Wa-a-l, then, there's your receipt.
Count. And there's your money.

A MODEST WIT-ANON.

A SUPERCILIOUS nabob of the east

Haughty, being great-purse-proud, being rich,

A governor, or general, at the least,

I have forgotten which

Had in his family an humble youth,

Who went from England in his patron's suite,

An unassuming boy, and in truth

A lad of decent parts, and good repute.

This youth had sense and spirit;

But yet, with all his sense,

Excessive diffidence

Obscured his merit.

One day, at table, flushed with pride and wine,
His honor, proudly free, severely merry,

Conceived it would be vastly fine

To crack a joke upon his secretary.

"Young man," he said, "by what art, craft or trade,
Did your good father gain a livelihood ?"—

"He was a saddler, sir," Modestus said,
"And in his time was reckoned good."-

"A saddler, eh! and taught you Greek,
Instead of teaching you to sew!
Pray, why did not your father make
A saddler, sir, of you?"

Each parasite, then, as in duty bound,
The joke applauded, and the laugh went round.
At length Modestus, bowing low,

Said, (craving pardon, if too free he made,)
"Sir, by your leave, I fain would know
Your father's trade !"

"My father's trade! Bless me, that's too bad!
My father's trade? Why, blockhead, are you mad?
My father, sir, did never stoop so low-
He was a gentleman, I'd have you know."

"Excuse the liberty I take,"

Modestus said, with archness on his brow
"Pray, why did not your father make
A gentleman of you?"

DANIEL VERSUS DISHCLOTH.-STEVENS.

We will consider the law, as our laws are very considerable, both in bulk and magnitude according as the statutes declare, considerandi, considerando, considerandum; and are not to be meddled with by those who do not understand them. Law always expressing itself with true grammatical precision, never confounding words, cases or genders, except, indeed, when a woman happens to be slain, then the verdict is always brought in man-slaughter. We all know that the essence of the law is altercation; for the law can altercate, fulminate, deprecate.

irritate, and go on at any rate. Now the quintessence of the law has, according to its name, five parts:-the first, is the beginning, or incipiendum;-the second, the uncertainty, or dubitandum;-the third, delay, or puzzleendum ;-fourthly, replication without endum ;—and fifthly, monstrum et horrendum All of which are fully exemplified in the following case of

Daniel versus Dishcloth. Daniel was groom in the same family in which Dishcloth was cook-maid; Daniel returning home one day somewhat fuddled, he stooped down to take a sop out of the dripping pan;-Dishcloth thereupon laid hold upon him, and in the struggle pushed him into the dripping pan, which spoiled his clothes. He was advised to bring his action against the cook-maid therefor, the pleadings of which were as follows::

The first counsel who spoke was Mr. Serjeant Snuffle. He began with saying " Since I have the honor to be pitched upon to open this case to your lordship, I shall not impertinently presume to take up any of your lordship's time, by a roundabout, circumlocutory manner of speaking, or talking, quite foreign to the purpose, and not anywise relating to the matter in hand; I shall-I will-I design to show what damages my client has sustained, hereupon—whereupon and thereupon. Now, my lord, my client being a servant in the same family with Dishcloth, and, not being at board-wages, imagined he had a right to the fee simple of the dripping pan -therefore, he made an attachment on the sop with his right hand-which the defendant replevied with her right hand— tripped up our heels, and tumbled us into the dripping pan. Now, in Broughton's Reports, Slack vs. Smallcoat, it is said, primus strokus, sine jocus, absolutos est provokos; now, who gave the primus strokus? Who gave the first offence? Why, the cook-maid; she placed the dripping pan there; for, my lord, though we will allow if had not been where we were, we could not have tumbled where we did-yet, my lord—if the dripping pan had not been where it was we could not have fallen down into the dripping pan."

The next counsel, on the same side, began with-" My lord, he who makes use of many words to no purpose, has not much