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THE BIDET.

HAVING settled all these little matters, I got into my post-chaise with more ease than ever I got into a postchaise in my life; and La Fleur having got one large jack-boot on the far side of a little bidet*, and another on this (for I count nothing of his legs)-he canter'd away before me as happy and as perpendicular as a prince.

-But what is happiness! what is grandeur in thispainted scene of life! A dead ass, before we had got a league, put a sudden stop to La Fleur's career- -his bidet would not pass by it-a contention arose betwixt them, and the poor fellow was kick'd out of his jackboots the very first kick.

La Fleur bore his fall like a French christian, saying neither more or less upon it, than, Diable! so presently got up, and came to the charge again astride his bidet, beating him up to it as he would have beat his drum.

The bidet flew from one side of the road to the other, then back again-then this way-then that way, and in short every way but by the dead ass-La Fleur insisted upon the thing-and the bidet threw him.

What's the matter, La Fleur, said I, with this bidet of thine?-Monsieur, said he, c'est un cheval le plus opi

*Post-horse.

niatre du monde-Nay, if he is a conceited beast, he must go his own way, replied I-so La Fleur got him off, and giving him a good sound lash, the bidet took me at my word, and away he scamper'd back to Montriul -Peste! said La Fleur.

It is not mal-à-propos to take notice here, that though La Fleur availed himself but of two different terms of exclamation in this encounter-namely, Diable! and Peste! that there are nevertheless three, in the French language; like the positive, comparative, and superlative, one or the other of which serve for every unexpected throw of the dice in life.

Le Diable! which is the first, and positive degree, is generally used upon ordinary emotions of the mind, where small things only fall out contrary to your expectations such as-the throwing one's doublets-La Fleur's being kick'd off his horse, and so forth-cuckoldom, for the same reason, is always-Le Diable!

But in cases where the cast has something provoking in it, as in that of the bidet's running away after, and leaving La Fleur aground in jack-boots-'tis the second degree.

"Tis then Peste!

And for the third

-But here my heart is wrung with pity and fellowfeeling, when I reflect what miseries must have been their lot, and how bitterly so refined a people must have smarted, to have forced them upon the use of it

Grant me, O ye powers which touch the tongue with

eloquence in distress !-whatever is my cast, grant me but decent words to exclaim in, and I will give my

nature way.

-But as these were not to be had in France, I resolved to take every evil just as it befel me, without any exclamation at all.

La Fleur, who had made no such covenant with himself, followed the bidet with his eyes till it was got out of sight-and then, you may imagine, if you please, with what word he closed the whole affair.

As there was no hunting down a frighten'd horse in jack-boots, there remained no alternative but taking La Fleur either behind the chaise, or into it.

I preferred the latter, and in half an hour we got to the post-house in Nampont.

NAMPONT.

THE DEAD ASS.

-AND this, said he, putting the remains of a crust into his wallet-and this should have been thy portion, said he, hadst thou been alive to have shared it with me. I thought by the accent, it had been an apostrophe to his child; but 'twas to his ass, and to the very ass we had seen dead in the road, which had occasioned La Fleur's misadventure. The man seemed to lament it much; and it instantly brought into my mind Sancho's lamentation for his; but he did it with more true touches of nature.

The mourner was sitting upon a stone bench at the door, with the ass's pannel and its bridle on one side, which he took up from time to time-then laid them. down look'd at them and shook his head. He then took his crust of bread out of his wallet again, as if to eat it; held it some time in his hand-then laid it upon the bit of his ass's bridle-looked wistfully at the little arrangement he had made—and then gave a sigh.

The simplicity of his grief drew numbers about him, and La Fleur amongst the rest, whilst the horses were getting ready; as I continued sitting in the post-chaise, I could see and hear over their heads.

-He said he had come last from Spain, where he had been from the furthest borders of Franconia; and had got so far on his return home, when his ass died. Every one seemed desirous to know what business could have taken so old and poor a man so far a journey from his own home.

It had pleased heaven, he said, to bless him with three sons, the finest lads in all Germany; but having in one week lost two of the eldest of them by the smallpox, and the youngest falling ill of the same distemper, he was afraid of being bereft of them all; and made a vow, if Heaven would not take him from him also, he would go in gratitude to St. Iago in Spain.

When the mourner got thus far on his story, he stopp'd to pay nature her tribute-and wept bitterly.

He said, Heaven had accepted the conditions; and that he had set out from his cottage with this poor creature, who had been a patient partner of his journey

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