An' is the country goin' to knuckle down

To hev Smith sort their letters 'stid o' Brown?

Who wuz the 'Nited States 'fore Richmon' fell?

Wuz the South needfle their full name to spell ?

An' can't we spell it in thet short-han' way

Till thunderpinnin' 's settled so 's to stay?

Who cares for the Resolves of '61, Thet tried to coax an airthquake with a bun?

Hez act'ly nothin' taken place sence then

To larn folks they must hendle fects like men?

Ain't this the true p'int? Did the Rebs accep' 'em?

Ef nut, whose fault is 't thet we hev n't kep 'em?

War n't there two sides? an' don't it stend to reason

Thet this week's 'Nited States ain't las' week's treason?

When all these sums is done, with

'fore we could wal begin to be a nation, But I allow I never did imegine

drive a wedge in

Things war n't agoin' ez they'd ough' to be;

So they sent off a deacon to remonstrate Along 'th the wolves an' urge 'em to go on straight;

They did n' seem to set much by the deacon,

Nor preachin' did n' cow 'em, nut to speak on;

Fin'ly they swore thet they'd go out an' stay,

An' hev their fill o' mutton every day; Then dogs an' shepherds, after much hard dammin', [Groan from Deac'n G.] Turned tu an' give 'em a tormented lammin',

An' sez, "Ye sha' n't go out, the murrain rot ye,

To keep us wastin' half our time to watch ye!"

But then the question come, How live together

'thout losin' sleep, nor nary yew nor wether?

Now there wuz some dogs (noways wuth their keep)

That sheered their cousins' tastes an' sheered the sheep; They sez, "Be gin'rous, let 'em swear right in,

An', ef they backslide, let 'em swear ag'in ;

Jes' let 'em put on sheep-skins whilst they 're swearin';

To ask for more 'ould be beyond all bearin'."

"Be gin'rous for yourselves, where you 're to pay,

Thet 's the best prectice," sez a shepherd gray;

"Ez for their oaths they wun't be wuth a button,

Long 'z you don't cure 'em o' their taste for mutton;

Th' ain't but one solid way, howe'er you puzzle :

Tell they're convarted, let 'em wear a

muzzle." [Cries of "Bully for you!"]

I've noticed thet each half-baked scheme's abetters

Are in the hebbit o' producin' letters Writ by all sorts o' never-heared-on fellers,

'bout ez oridge'nal ez the wind in bellers;

Reapin' the spiles o' the Freesiler,
Is cute ez though an ingineer
Should claim th' old iron for his sheer
Coz 't was himself that bust the biler!"
[Gret laughter.]

Thet tells the story! Thet's wut we shall git

By tryin' squirtguns on the burnin' Pit;
For the day never comes when it 'll du
To kick off Dooty like a worn-out shoe.
I seem to hear a whisperin' in the air,
A sighin' like, of unconsoled despair,
Thet comes from nowhere an' from
everywhere,

An' seems to say, "Why died we? war To settle, once for all, thet men wuz n't it, then,

men?

Cal'late, calculate.

Cass, a person with two lives. Close, clothes.

Cockerel, a young cock.

Cocktail, a kind of drink; also, an ornament peculiar to soldiers.

Convention, a place where people are imposed on; a juggler's show.

Coons, a cant term for a now defunct party; derived, perhaps, from the fact of their being commonly up a tree.

Cornwallis, a sort of muster in masquerade; supposed to have had its origin soon after the Revolution, and to commemorate the surrender of Lord Cornwallis. It took the place of the old Guy Fawkes procession. Crooked stick, a perverse, froward person. Cunnle, a colonel.

Cus, a curse; also, a pitiful fellow.

D.

Darsn't, used indiscriminately, either in singular or plural number, for dare not, dares not, and dared not.

Deacon off, to give the cue to; derived from a custom, once universal, but now extinct, in our New England Congregational churches. An important part of the office of deacon was