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So he onhitched, - Jeerusalem! the middle o' last

year Wuz right nex' door compared to where she kicked

the critter tu (Though jest where he brought up wuz wut no

human never knew); His brother Asaph picked her up an' tied her to a

tree, An' then she kicked an hour 'n' a half afore she'd

let it be : Wal, Miss S. doos hev cuttins-up an' pourins-out

o' vials, But then she hez her widder's thirds, an' all on us

hez trials. My objec', though, in writin' now warn't to allude

to sech, But to another suckemstance more dellykit to

tech, I want thet you should grad'lly break my merriage

to Jerushy, An' there's a heap of argymunts thet 's emple to

indooce ye: Fust place, State's Prison, — wal, it's true it

warn't fer crime, o' course, But then it's jest the same fer her in gittin' a

disvorce; Nex' place, my State 's secedin' out hez leg'lly lef?

me free

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To merry any one I please, pervidin' it 's a she;
Fin'lly, I never wun't come back, she need n't hev

no fear on 't,
But then it's wal to fix things right fer fear Miss

S. should hear on 't;

Lastly, I've gut religion South, an' Rushy she's a

pagan Thet sets by th' graven imiges o’the gret Nothun

Dagon ; (Now I hain't seen one in six munts, for, sence our

Treashry Loan, Though yaller boys is thick anough, eagles hez

kind o' flown ;) An' ef J wants a stronger pint than them thet I

hev stated, Wy, she's an aliun in'my now, an' I've been corn

fiscated, For sence we've entered on th' estate o' the late

nayshnul eagle, She hain't no kin' o' right but jes' wut I allow ez

legle : Wut doos Secedin' mean, ef 't ain't thet nat'rul

rights hez riz, 'n' Thet wut is mine 's my own, but wut's another

man 's ain't his’n ?

Besides, I could n't do no else ; Miss S. suz she to

me, “ You've sheered my bed,” [thet 's when I paid my

interduction fee To Southun rites,] “an' kep' your sheer,” [wal, I

allow it sticked So 's 't I wuz most six weeks in jail afore I gut me

picked,] “ Ner never paid no demmiges ; but thet wun't do

no harm, Pervidin' thet you'll ondertake to oversee the


(My eldes' boy he's so took up, wut with the Ring

tail Rangers An' settin' in the Jestice-Court for welcomin'

o' strangers" ;) [He sot on me ;] “an' so, ef you 'll jest ondertake

the care Upon a mod’rit sellery, we'll up an' call it square ; But ef you can't conclude,” suz she, an' give a kin'

o'grin, “ Wy, the Gran' Jurymen, I 'xpect, 'll hev to set

agin.” That's the way metters stood at fust; now wut

wuz I to du, But jes' to make the best on 't an' off coat an'

buckle tu? Ther' ain't a livin' man thet finds an income neces

sarier Than me, — bimeby I 'll tell ye how I fin'lly come

to merry her.

She hed another motive, tu : I mention of it here T'encourage lads thet 's growin' up to study 'n'

persevere, An' show 'em how much better 't pays to mind

their winter-schoolin' Than to go off on benders 'n' sech, an' waste their

time in foolin'; Ef 't warn’t for studyin' evenins, why, I never 'd

ha' ben here An orn’ment o'saciety, in my approprut spear: She wanted somebody, ye see, o'taste an' cultiva


To talk along o' preachers when they stopt to the

plantation ; For folks in Dixie th't read an' rite, onless it is by

jarks, Is skurce ez wut they wuz among th' origenle patri

archs ; To fit a feller f' wut they call the soshle higher

archy, All thet you've gut to know is jes' beyund an

evrage darky; Schoolin''s wut they can't seem to stan', they 're tu

consarned high-pressure, An' knowin' t' much might spile a boy for bein' a

Secesher. We hain't no settled preachin' here, ner ministeril

taxes ; The min’ster's only settlement 's the carpet-bag he

packs his Razor an' soap-brush intu, with his hymbook an'

his Bible, But they du preach, I swan to man, it's puf'kly

indescrib'le ! They go it like an Ericsson's ten-hoss-power coleric

ingine, An' make Ole Split-Foot winch an' squirm, for all

he's used to singein'; Hawkins's whetstone ain't a pinch o' primin' to the

innards To hearin' on 'em put free grace t' a lot o' tough

old sinhards! But I must eend this letter now : 'fore long I 'll

send a fresh un;

I've lots o' things to write about, perticklerly Se

ceshun : I'm called off now to mission-work, to let a leetle

law in To Cynthy's hide : an’so, till death,



No. II.



JAALAM, 6th Jan., 1862. GENTLEMEN, — I was highly gratified by the insertion of a portion of my letter in the last number of your valuable and entertaining Miscellany, though in a type which rendered its substance inaccessible even to the beautiful new spectacles presented to me by a Committee of the Parish on New Year's Day. I trust that I was able to bear your very considerable abridgment of my lucubrations with a spirit becoming a Christian. My third granddaughter, Rebekah, aged fourteen years, and whom I have trained to read slowly and with proper emphasis (a practice too much neglected in our modern systems of education), read aloud to me the excellent essay upon “Old Age," the authour of which I cannot help suspecting to be a young man who has never yet known what it was to have snow (canities morosa) upon his own roof.

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