instead of a call; excepting upon the newly married. Calls in person are due to them, and to the parents who have invited you to the marriage. When there has been a reception after the ceremony, which you have been unable to attend, but have sent cards by some member of your family, your cards need not again represent you until they have been returned, with the new residence announced; but a call is due to the parents or relatives who have given the reception. When no wedding cards are sent you, nor the card of the bridegroom, you cannot call without being considered intrusive. One month after the birth of a child the call of congratulation is made by acquaintances. LEAVE CARDS IN MAKING FIRST CALL. In making the first calls of the season (in the autumn) both ladies and gentlemen should leave a card each, at every house called upon, even if the ladies are receiving. The reason of this is that where a lady is receiving morning calls, it would be too great a tax upon her memory to oblige her to keep in mind what calls she has to return or which of them have been returned, and in making out lists for inviting informally, it is often the card-stand which is first searched for bachelors' cards, to meet the emergency. Young men should be careful to write their street and number on their cards. LEAVE CARDS AFTER AN INVITATION. After an invitation, cards must be left upon those who have sent it, whether it is accepted or not. They must be left in person, and if it is desired to end the acquaintance the cards can be left without inquiring whether the ladies are at home. Gentlemen should not expect to receive invitations from ladies with whom they are only on terms of formal visiting, until the yearly or autumnal call has been made, or until their cards have been left to represent themselves. CARDS IN MEMORIAM. These are a loving tribute to the memory of the departed; an English custom rapidly gaining favor with us; it announces to friends the death, of which they might remain in ignorance but for this mark of respect: George A. Custer, Lieutenant-Colonel Seventh Cavalry, Killed, with his entire Command, in the Oh, Custer-Gallant Custer! man fore-doomed CARDS OF CONDOLENCE. Cards of condolence left by mere acquaintances must be returned by "mourning cards" before such persons feel at liberty to make a call. When the bereaved are ready to receive calls (instead of the cards) of their acquaintances, "mourning cards" in envelopes, or otherwise, are returned to all those who have left their cards since the death, which was the occasion of the cards being left. Intimate friends, of course, do not wait for cards, but continue their calls, without regard to any ceremonious observances made for the protection of the bereaved. Acquaintances leaving cards should inquire after the health of the family, leaving the cards in person. MOURNING CARDS. On announcement of a death it is correct to call in person at the door; to make inquiries and leave your card, with lower left hand corner turned town. Unless close intimacy exists, it is not usage to ask to see the afflicted. Cards can be sent to express sympathy, but notes of condolence are permissible only from intimate friends. A BRIDEGROOM'S CARD. When only the family and the most intimate friends of a bride and bridegroom have been included in the invitation for the marriage, or where there has been no reception after the marriage at church, the bridegroom often sends his bachelor card (inclosed in an envelope) to those of his acquaintances with whom he wishes to continue on visiting terms. Those who receive a card should call on the bride, within ten days after she has taken possession of her home. Some persons have received such a card as an intimation that the card was to end the acquaintance. This mistake shows the necessity of a better understanding of social customs. CHAPTER VIII. Conversation. HE character of a person is revealed by his conversation as much as by any one quality he possesses, for strive as he may he cannot always be acting. IMPORTANCE OF CONVERSING WELL. To be able to converse well is an attainment which should be cultivated by every intelligent man and woman. It is better to be a good talker than a good singer or musician, because the former is more widely appreciated, and the company of a person who is able to talk well on a great variety of subjects, is much sought after. The importance, therefore, of cultivating the art of conversation, cannot easily be over-estimated. It should be the aim of all intelligent persons to acquire the habit of talking sensibly and with facility upon all topics of general interest to society, so that they may both interest others and be themselves interested, in whatever company they may chance to be thrown. |