favourable change I fell ill the moment I got to my lodgings he says it is owing to my taking James's Powder, and venturing out on so cold a day as Sunday but he is mistaken, for I am certain whatever bears the name must have efficacy with me. - I was bled yesterday, and again to-day, and have been almost dead; but this friendly enquiry from Gerrard-street has poured balm into what blood I have left—I hope still, and (next to the sense of what I owe to my friends) it shall be the last pleasurable sensation I will part with If I continue mending, it will yet be some time before I shall have strength enough to get out in a carriage my first visit will be a visit of true gratitude I leave my kind friends to guess where a thousand blessings go along with this, and may Heaven preserve you both. Adieu, my dear Sir, and dear lady. I am, your ever obliged, L. STERNE. XCIV. TO IGNATIUS SANCHO. Bond-street, Saturday [April 25, 1767]. I was very sorry, my good Sancho, that I was not at home to return my compliments by you for the great courtesy of the Duke of M-g-'s family to me in honouring my list of subscribers with their names for which I bear them all thanks. But you have something to add, Sancho, to what I owe your good-will also on this account, and that is, to send me the subscription-money, which I find a necessity of dunning my best friends for before I leave town to avoid the perplexities of both keeping pecuniary accounts (for which I have very slender talents), and collecting them (for which I have neither strength of body nor mind); and so, good Sancho, dun the Duke of M., the Duchess of M., and Lord M. for their subscriptions, and lay the sin, and money with it too, at I wish so door. my good a family every blessing they merit, along with my humblest compliments. You know, Sancho, that I am your friend and well-wisher, L. STERNE. P. S. I leave town on Friday morning and should on Thursday, but that I stay to dine with Lord and Lady S XCV. MY LORD, TO THE EARL OF S Old Bond-street, May 1, 1767. -- In I was yesterday taking leave of all the town, with an intention of leaving it this day, but I am detained by the kindness of Lord and Lady S- who have made a party to dine and sup on my account. - I am impatient to set out for my solitude, for there the mind gains strength, and learns to lean upon herself the world it seeks or accepts of a few treacherous supports the feigned compassion of one the flattery of a second the civilities of a third the friendship of a fourth they all deceive, and bring the mind back to where mine is retreating, to retirement, reflection and books. My departure is fixed for to-morrow morning, but I could not think of quitting a place where I have received such numberless and unmerited civilities from your lordship, without returning my most grateful thanks, as well as my hearty acknowledgements for your friendly enquiry from Bath. Illness, my lord, has occasioned my silence Death knocked at my door, but -- I would not admit him the call was both unexpected and unpleasant and I am seriously worn down to a shadow and still very weak; but, weak as I am, I have as whimsical a story to tell you as ever befel one of my family Shandy's nose, his name, his sashwindow, are fools to it - it will serve at least to amuse you. The injury I did myself last month, in catching cold upon James's Powder upon the worst part it could fell, you must know, the most painful, and most dangerous of any in the human body. It was on this crisis I called in an able surgeon, and with him an able physician (both my friends), to inspect my disaster. 'Tis a venereal case, cried my two scientific friends. 'Tis impossible, however, to be that, replied I for I have had no commerce whatever with the sex, not even with my wife, added I, these fifteen years. You are, however, my good friend, said the surgeon, or there is no such case in the world. What the devil, said I, without knowing woman? We will not reason about it, said the physician, but you must undergo a course of mercury. - I will lose my life first, said I and trust to nature, to time, or at the worst to death. So I put an end, with some indignation, to the conference and determined to bear all the torments I underwent, and ten times more, rather than submit to be treated like a sinner, in a point where I had acted like a saint. Now as the father of mischief would have it, who has no pleasure like that of dishonouring the righteous, it so fell out that, from the moment I dismissed my doctors, my pains began to rage with a violence not to be expressed, or supported. Every hour became more intolerable. I was got tobed, cried out, and raved the whole night, and was got up so near dead that my friends insisted upon my sending again for my physician and surgeon. I told them upon the word of a man of honour they were both mistaken, as to my case but though they had reasoned wrong, they might act right; but that sharp as my sufferings were, I felt them not so sharp as the imputation which a venereal treatment of my case laid me under. They answered that these taints of the blood laid dormant twenty years: but they would not reason with me in a point wherein I was so delicate, but would do all the office for which they were called in, namely, to put an end to my torment, which otherwise would put an end to me and so I have been compelled to surrender myself and thus, my dear Lord, has your poor friend, with all his sensibilities, been suffering the chastisement of the grossest sensualist. Was it not as ridiculous an embarrassment as ever Yorick's spirit was involved in? Nothing but the purest conscience of innocence could have tempted me to write this story to my wife, which, by the bye, would make no bad anecdote in Tristram Shandy's Life. I have mentioned it in my journal to Mrs. In some respects there is no difference between my wife and herself when they fare alike neither can reasonably complain. — I have just received letters from France, with some hints that Mrs. Sterne and my Lydia are coming to England to pay me a visit if time is not better employed, Yorick flatters himself he shall receive a letter from your Lordship, en attendant. I am, regard, My Lord, your with great Your Lordship's L. STERNE. Most faithful humble servant, XCVI. TO J. D—N, ESQ. - Old Bond-street, Friday Morning. no man I was going, my dear D-n, to bed before I received your kind enquiry, and now my chaise stands at my door to take and convey this poor body to its legal settlement. I am ill, very ill, I languish most affectingly - I am sick both soul and body it is a cordial to me to hear it is different with youinterests himself more in your happiness, and I am glad you are in so fair a road to it enjoy it long, my D., whilst I no matter what but my feelings are too nice for the world I live in things will mend. I dined yesterday with Lord and Lady S-; we talked much of you, and your goings on, for every one knows why Sunbury Hill is so pleasant a situation! - You rogue you have locked up my boots and I go bootless home and I fear I shall go bootless all my Adieu, gentlest and best of souls life I am yours, affectionately, adieu. I HAVE got conveyed thus far like a bale of cadaverous goods consigned to Pluto and company lying in the bottom of my chaise most of the route, upon a large pillow which I had the prevoyance to purchase before I set out I am worn out but press on to Barnby Moor to-night, and if possible to York the next. I know not what is the matter with me but some derangement presses hard upon this machine still I |