GLASGOW GOSSIP.

THE universal cry in the Exchange, in the Tontine, in the Clubhouse, at the Dinner Tables at the west end, and in the Taverns at the east, is, "but, who are to be our members?" and the universal answer is as yet a mere echo of the question. There are at least, the names of a dozen personages bandied about, as likely to mount the Reform Hustings,-the more the merrier say we. In the meantime, there have been certain literary appeals made to the public, one of which we will probably examine in our next number.

Our, friend, Spectacles, since the disappearance of so many fair dames from the Pavé, has been, of late, sadly in the dumps, and actually threatens to lay down his office as observer-general of the Fair. We have persuaded him however, to visit the coast, and thence to dispatch us some account of what is doing at the several fashionable rendevouzes of our citizens. We expect a letter from him before next Saturday, from either Helensburgh, Largs, Gourock or Rothsay, and if so, our readers shall have the benefit of it.

LONDON FASHIONS FOR JUNE.

MAKE AND MATERIALS OF OUT-DOOR COSTUME.-Moire Chaly and some new kinds of figured silks, are all in favour in carriage dress. Pelisse dresses are fashionable, but the most novel form is a high corsage, laced behind, a plain front, and the back plain at the top, but full at the bottom of the waist. A pelerine with square cornered ends cut round in dents à la grecque; the sleeves are as usual, except that the lower part being cut bias, fits the arm exactly. The skirt is trimmed with a bias band of the same materials, the upper edge of which is cut in Grecian dents.

Summer shawls of the half-trasparent kind are coming much into request. Some are of Cachemire patterns. Others have Grecian borders, and some are striped in novel but rather too shady patterns.

MAKE AND MATERIALS OF HALF-DRESS.-Chaly, chachemirienne, a variety of materials of the half-transparent kind, some new and beautiful patterns of printed muslins, and several kinds of moire and fancy silks are all adopted. A few white dresses, embroidered in colours, have also been introduced; among the latter we may justly cite one of the pelisse form as the most elegant that has appeared for some time. It is composed of jaconet muslin, embroidered in sprigs of blue bells, rather richly strewed. sage is full both before and behind, and the fronts cross. The sleeve is embroidered at the wrist in a delicate wreath of blue bells, with their foilage. The pelerine, made with ends which cross, is like the dress embroidered in the ground, and ornamented beside with a wreath, corresponding with that of the wrist round the border, which is also edged with lace disposed in small quills. The dress should be worn with a double square collar, also trimmed with lace.

The cor

Another elegant negligé is in printed muslin, of a chaly pattern. A full corsage, divided in the middle by a narrow cord before and behind. A double pelerine, the first very large, fastened upon the bosom; the second smaller, meets at the neck only, the ends fall back as they approach the bottom. The only trimming of the pelerine is a deep hem.

MAKE AND MATERIALS OF EVENING DRESS.-A new halftransparent material, composed of silk and wool, called mousseline moirée, Chaly moire crape and gauze are all fashionable. The most elegant patterns are those à colonnes tremblées. Corsages are cut something higher, and those with draperies en cœur are very much in favour. We see also a good many trimmed with a kind of gauffred mantilla. Sleeves have not altered in form.

NEW ARTICLES.-The Blonde Figured Veils, Shawls, Scarfs, and Dresses, also the Orre Net, which is just brought out by the Inventor, Mr. George Rawlinson of Taunton, and Wood Street, London, in very beautiful patterns, and great variety of colours. These articles are of the same fabric as the Blonde Lace, and very beautiful as well as durable; and we have no doubt will come into very general use, being British manufacture, and giving employment to a large portion of our industrious poor.

BONNETS Continue of the bibi form; they are trimmed with flowers-some arranged in bouquets, and others en gerbe; they are disposed to droop from the right to the left in the same manner as the plumage of a bird of Paradise. One of the prettiest of the new bonnets is composed of ribbons and bandelettes of moire; the brim entirely of ribbon was encircled by a bandelette of moire about two inches in breadth, the crown was composed of ribbons, interlaced in bands of moire, the curtain at the back was raised on one side, and fell upon the other. We should observe that the bonnet was lilac, it was decorated with a sprig of white lilac and white gauze ribbons,

FOREIGN LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.

ITALY.-The King of Sardinia has instituted a new order, to be conferred on individuals distinguished in literature, or eminent for their merits in civil affairs. In the list of those already admitted into this order, we observe the names of Botta, the his torian; Nota, the author of the well-known comedies; Della Cella, the traveller; Peyron, the learned antiquarian; Plana, the astronomer; Saluzzo, the poet; Rossi, the novelist, &c. &c. We are happy to see this homage paid to talent and genius in a state whose records have been too frequently disfigured by acts of bigotry

and intolerance.

The splendid series of engravings, illustrative of the principal Churches of Europe, continues to appear at Milan. The numbers which have been published are St. Peter's, the Pantheon, Florence Cathedral and Baptistery, the Cathedral of Pisa, the Duomo of Milan, St. Stephen's of Vienna, and St. Mark's at Venice. Each number contains internal as well as external views of the Church, besides sections of the interior and engravings of the principal monuments. These are accompanied by an explanatory text, giving a short historical notice of the edifice. It is a work that does honour to Italian engraving.

MISCELLANEA.

HORRORS OF WAR.-Nothing is more dreadful than to follow a few marches behind a victorious army. We lodged indiscrimin ately among the dead and the dying, who had dragged their wound. ed limbs through the mud of the field of battle, to die, without help, in the nearest hovels. Thousands of enormous vultures had assembled from every part of Spain, placed on heights, and seen from a distance against the horizon, they appeared as large as men. Our videts often marched towards them, to reconnoitre, mistaking them for enemies. They never left their human prey, on our approach, till we were within a few paces of them, and then the flapping of their enormous wings echoed far and wide, over our heads, like a funeral knell.-French Officer.

LITERARY INTELLIGENCE.

Mr. LEWIS GOLDSMITH, long and well-known to the literary and political world, is preparing the first volume of a work, entitled "The Statistics of France," and we could name no writer so competent to the task.

The Private Correspondence of a Woman of Fashion, is in the Press.

Mr. Schloss commences Illustrations of the Surrey Zoological Gardens.

A Descriptive Catalogue of the Gardens and Grounds of Woburn Abbey, by J. Forbes, is in the press.

The Fossil Flora of Great Britain, by Professor Lindley and William Hutton, is announced.

The Return of the Victors, a Poem, by W. Dailey.

A work of Popular Zoology, containing the Natural History of the Quadrupeds and Birds in the Zoological Gardens, &c.

Advertisements.

GALLERY OF PORTRAITS, Under the Superintendence of the Society for the Diffusion of Useful Knowledge.

D

AVID ROBERTSON, Bookseller, Trongate, has Just Received a Supply of the First Number of the above Splendid Book, containing Three Highly Finished Portraits, viz. DANTE, DAVY and KOSCIUSKO, Price only 2s. 6d.

Of whom also may be had, lately Published, Price 7s. 6d. HENDERSON'S COLLECTION OF SCOTTISH PROVERBS, with a Preliminary Essay by W. MOTHERWELL, Esq. We beg leave to thank Mr. Henderson for the public gift, and at the same time to recominend it to the notice of book collectors.-Scotsman. Also lately Published,

THE JESUIT, a Novel, 3 vol. Price 28s. THE MODERN SABBATII EXAMINED, Price 7s. 6d. LEGENDS AND STORIES OF IRELAND, by SAMUEL LOVER, R.H. A. with Six Etchings, 2d Edition, Price 6s.

AURTHER REDUCTION OF WATER RENTS.

The DIRECTORS of the CRANSTONHILL WATER WORKS COMPANY have to announce to the Inhabitants of Glasgow, that they have resolved to make a Further Reduction of their Rates as follows:

Houses Rented at £6 and upwards 6d. per Pound
Houses under that Rent 3s. each

PUBLIC WORKS Supplied with (not Unfiltered but pure Filtered)
Water, at £3 per Annum,-per 1000 Gallons supplied daily.
Service Pipes changed at the expense of the Company.
By Order of the Directors,

D. MACKAIN, Secretary. CRANSTONHILL WATER WORKS OFFICE, Į Tuesday, 29th May, 1832.

PRINTED BY JOHN GRAHAM, MELVILLE PLACE

No. 110.]

PRICE TWOPENCE

[TWOR

WHO SHOULD AND WHO SHOULD NOT BE
MEMBERS OF A REFORMED PARLIAMENT.*

Thus felt Sir Owen, as a man whose cause
Is very good-it had his own applause.

CRABBE.

THE individual who contributes in any way, to the sum of public happiness, has a fair title to be considered a public benefactor. To merit this honourable distinction, it is by no means necessary that he should have been a voluntary agent in this agreeable contribution that he was the passive origin of it, is quite sufficient for the purpose. Now, we must tell the author of the pamphlet, noted below, that, in this respect, his name is eminent among our citizens, and that babbling Echo "tells his far spread fame." Pleasant, indeed, are the public remembrances of the successive advents of his laborious Muse-from the epic Sextuple, to the many-coloured Chameleon. And our city historian, in the next edition of his Annals, will, doubtless, indulge in a loftier vein, when he bestows upon posterity the memory of his civic triumphs, heightened and adorned by the delicate timidity and retiring modesty which have, uniformly, characterized all his public exhibitions.

To the long list of Mr. Atkinson's labours in behalf of the present and future generations, the pleasant month of June has presented us with the important addition of an 66 Appeal to the Middle Classes on the Right Use of the Franchise." Now, we must tell the author of this most opportune advice, that we do not, like too many of the unthinking herd, look upon this publication as a laughing matter-far from it, for, although it has made all faces radiant, from the Tron steeple to Exchange Square, it has had no other effect upon us than to lengthen our physiognomy. And why? -not that we are more saturnine than our neighbours -no, we are eminently jocose in our nature-but, then, gentle reader, consider the grave nature of the subject-"On the right use of the Elective Franchise" the sound would have sobered a bacchanal, and it actually threw us into a brown study. Rumour, with her hundred tongues, before the pamphlet appeared, had blown, into all ears, of the approaching glory. "Coming events cast their shadows before," and the jocund world stood on tip-toe expectation of the Delphic delivery. Whispers ran from man to man that it would contain an oracular declaration, to ease the public mind of some natural doubts as to the men who should not be our Members-and, what was far more to the purpose, as to the only man who could, would, or should, be one of them.

the loud echo of as broad a laugh as ever floated betwixt the Frith and the Falls of Clyde.

But, as we have been, in our day, a little free and easy with our friend, the author of this appeal, we must again hold a little friendly chat with him about this pamphlet of his. It is, really, a smart brochure-not particularly civil to the King's Englishbut let that pass-there is good authority for it. Well, then, our author sets out with an annunciation of the interesting fact, that we are, in future, to have two Members for Glasgow, and who must be burgesses this fact he announces, in a style at once tranchant and decisive. After which, he lets us know his mind with unspeakable suavity and condescension as to the persons whom we must exclude generally-his eye, all the while in a fine frenzy, rolling from those who ought to be without, to him who ought to be within. After having, in page 7th, emptied the vials of his wrath upon our municipal Peels, Wetherells and Goulburns, every one of whom he has floored in a twinkling, he proceeds to consider particularly, the object of his patriotic lucubration-as to who should, and who should not, be our members.

The man, he says, must be Of the people-From the people-For the people. Ah! Mr. Thomas.-Cunning dog! This is a tickler-Where shall we find such a man, unless Joseph Hume will take the matter up? After this appalling announcement, our author proceeds to take the "shine" out of our Glasgow cits, and, by the hand of our fathers, he does not leave them a leg to stand upon. Devil a one of them will show

their faces in the market we'll be sworn. Neither "the descendants of defunct dynasties, the adored of St. Enoch square dowagers-the West Indian merchants the shipping interest-nor landholders, nor country squires-no, nor perfect gentlemen, helpless as children, or glowing orators," will do the job, it appears. Gad, a cold shivering came over us when we read this long bill of exclusions-where, upon earth, thought we, shall a man of, from and for the people, be got it is cruel, in Mr. Atkinson, thus to sport with the feelings of the public upon so delicate a subject. But on we read, much pondering upon our awkward dilemma, until we reached the catalogue of senatorial requisites, when, lo! a ray of light broke in upon our benighted souls. We felt that Providence had not utterly forsaken the citizens of Glasgow in their last extremity, but had raised them up a help where they least thought of looking for it themselves.

Yes, gentle reader, with gratitude we acknowledge that we now began to see our way a little more clearly. As we devoured each separate item of his long enumeration of legislative essentials-the hand-writing on the wall, came out brighter and brighter-till we were led by its brilliancy, to No. 84 Trongate, with a please "apply within for your member"-" The man of the people, from the people, for the people." Had we lived in the days of our Catholic fathers, a "Te deum laudamus," would instantly have been performed, for so merciful an interposition, and a thousand yards of wax candle voted to Saint Mungo, for his polite attention to the city interests.

At page 14, after having discussed some of the needful qualifications, our author, very slily inquires"And where will you find these? Again, I am asked—

bye-and-bye, we shall perhaps see;" devil a doubt of it, when all this time he had the member snug in the pocket of his velveteen jacket, lying perdue, till he was ready to produce him.

Out upon you, Master Thomas, for a mad wag-to give your old friends such a fright, and not let them into the secret a little sooner. Our Pamphleteer next labours hard to show, that the Glasgow members should have as little as possible of the blunt in their pockets -that, being void of the earthly cares which a heavy purse entails upon a man, they may have more time to devote to their Parliamentary duties. Excellent sense, is not money the root of all evil-and a disinterested attachment to legislation the grand mark to go ar by? He then innocently asks, had not Andrew Marvell in 1660, only a hundred pounds a year, when he was member for Hull-and why, we would reply, should Thomas Atkinson require more in 1832 to be member for Glasgow. This is a poser we confess, and has stopt our mouth at any rate.

Mr. A. concludes with an urgent call upon the middle classes, to come forward and secure for themselves this pearl of great price-the man of, from, and for the people as to whom, his intimations are neither dark nor doubtful-delicately hinting at the same time, as to the patriotic facility, with which "a capital of three or four thousand pounds in business," could be melted into a "life annuity"-did the public service require it. At all events, we would say, Mr. Thomas Atkingon, you have done your duty-you have set their bane and antidote before the public, and if the fools-'od rot em, don't accept your liberal offer, they may go farther, and fare worse. May they be saddled, them and theirs, with a member of "the sheet of white paper Courtenay school, helpless as a child in all matters of business," or be riden over by one of the Squirearchy, on his way to a fox hunt, as a just punishment for their wilful blindness

In the "Post Scriptum," the author touches with a delicate hand, upon the incredible absurdity, which had come into some people's heads, that all this while he had been recommending himself for a member. Outupon the vulgar blockheads-what a base idea. What! Because a man, possessing all the qualifications necessary to a senator, should minutely particularize these qualifications, and direct the public where to look for them, is he to be held up as pleading actually in his own behalf? The idea is monstrous, it would strike at the root of all free discussion. Though, after all, is it not a very hard case, that one, who must know his own good qualities much better than any body else, is not to be allowed to carry them to market after his own fashion, though it be a new one-and this in a land of liberty too? Did ever mortal bear before, that it was a crime, in any person, to have "a passive consciousness of not being altogether destitute of a fitness to perform;" whilst they were not actuated by "the active presumption of soliciting"-Verily, this is a thinskinned generation.

We must now bid the author of this pamphlet good bye, and not being actuated "by the aggressive impulse" ourselves, we hail his approaching elevation with the purest delight.

Pillicock sat on Pillicock hill,

And our author will sit in Parliament-but let him bear his faculties meekly, and do not forget his old friends the "Ephemera" of The Day.

Just as we had finished our tête à tête with our friend Atkinson, another dashing brochure was put into our hands,* visibly intended for the farther illumination of the lieges upon the same important subject. If our fellow-citizens should miss the right path upon this occasion, it will, certainly, not be from a lack of advice, though we have heard some witty rascal * A Letter to the Electors of Glasgow under the Reform Bill. By an Elector.

or other, observe, that this is the most plentiful of of human productions, and disregarded in proportion to its abundance. As every thing must have an origin, so must a pamphlet, and it has been whispered in our critical ears, that a facetious bibliopole, Mr. David Robertson, is the author. We are led to adopt this idea from Mr. R. having formerly been connected in business with the versatile author of the "Appeal," and and it is quite probable, that he may have imbibed somewhat of the cacoethes scribendi, from so long breathing the same atmosphere with so intellectual a companion. Be this as it may, the fame of Mr. Atkinson will be in no degree affected by the literary debut of his former partner, as the "Letter" by no means infringes upon the territory of the "Appeal-the perspicuity and singleness of mind of the latter brochure, forming a remarkable contrast with the less imposing generalities of the former.

ON THE PROGRESS OF WOMAN IN SOCIETY. Of all the subjects, of human enquiry, none has occu pied a greater share of the attention of philosophers, than the history of man in his progress from the savage to the civilized state. The French metaphysicians, especially, have built from these materials, their most refined and irrational theories; and Turgot, Stael, Condorcet, Rousseau, Helvetius, and others, equally acute, have displayed on this one point the fallability of their reasoning powers. It is remarkable, however, that, in these speculations, an important branch of the question has been left wholly untouched-still more remarkable when we consider the gallantry of the nation by whom it has been principally discussed. No author, that we are aware of, has yet written a complete treatise on the progress of woman in society.

From what cause this omission proceeds, we pretend not to explain, but it is certain, that the circumstances of the age require that it should be immediately supplied. The surprising elevation which that better moiety of our nature has attained in the scale of power, demands such a consideration as her right, and it would be unsafe as well as incurious, for the male part of creation, to remain any longer in ignorance of the qualities and attributes of a being, who is perhaps des tined, one day, to exercise over him an absolute and undisguised dynasty.

Possible it is, that a reluctance to enter upon this subject has arisen in the minds of well-bred authors, from the unwillingness to trace woman to her primeval state, and consider her in the light of a savage creature. With us, however, no such objection has any weight, as we do not scruple to avow our belief, that the foundation on which it is based is utterly hollow. We believe that woman was never a savage, that she never partook of the rudeness which characterised the early stages of her help-mate; but that she was from the first all pure and all perfect, and that she sprung from the garden of nature on that sunny morning, when young love was toying with his roses, clothed in the matchless splendour of mink and make, which constitute her the object of our admiration, and the hearer of our sighs.

To confirm this idea, we need only remark, how strongly it is corroborated by the earliest records of the human race. The history of Moses represents our lovely mother, the first of her sex, as turning her early attention to the arts of civilized life, and applying her cunning fingers in the sinuous labours of the distaff. The first domestic toil which she is mentioned, as having shared with her husband, is well known to all those who possess the old edition of our English Bible, to have been that of making a pair of breeches. If we read literally, we shall suppose that this was a work undertaken in concert by the two; but where is the booby who supposes that Adam made the breeches, or who has never heard the distich, at one time so popular,

When Adam delved, and Eve span, Where was then the gentleman ?

Mark here the import of this last line. Where was then the gentleman, is a question which we set at rest by answering, Adam was a boor, and never made any pretensions to those qualities which, in modern times, are compromised under the name of gentility. His wife, however, was a far different being, as superior to him in her manners as Venus to Vulcan; and we are not therefore saluted with the question, where was the lady? Eve was a lady from top to toe, and though we saw her among a group of dowdies at the Glasgow fair, we could distinguish her at once by her elevating mien. She was not indeed a fine thing, made up of caps and laces, and ribbons and brocades. Nevertheless, we are morally assured, that she had a true spice of native dignity about her, and could have outshone all the Duchesses of Almack's with as much ease as she made her husband's breeches.

To proceed with our task. We presume then, that the first occupation of woman was that of a milliner or tailor. It is perhaps difficult, amid the obscurity of early chronicles, to trace the history of the profession in the first nations of the world, but we have little doubt, that among the rudest tribes of the Persians, Egyptians or Greeks, while the males of the family were engaged in the strife of battle, or the labours of the harvest, the ladies kept their shops in the bazars, and vended commodities of their own mauufacture over their clean-swept counters. Elderly bachelors, and the younger sons of large families, would probably have no other means of providing themselves with articles of raiment, or the other necessary comforts of life. Besides this, we know, that the women in ancient times used to adorn, with their handiwork, the statues and temples of their gods, and there is no absurdity in supposing, that if one had inscribed over her door, "breeches-maker to Apollo," another might tempt the notice of a customer, by writing herself "patent boot maker to the king." We hazard these remarks chiefly because we do not see what other use women could have served among a people whose habits soon emancipated them from the controul of a mother, and never inclined them to spend much time in the enjoyment of connubial happiness. As the history of the world becomes less obscure, however, we have better means afforded us of tracing the progress of the sex, and can distinctly perceive higher, and more refined employments, taking the place of those which first occupied their attention. There is no doubt that the needle and the distaff long continued to be their characteristic implements, and do in fact remain to this day connected with most of their pursuits. Ere long, however, a complete change came over the condition of female society, proceeding from the gradual operation of a natural cause.

The flood and the fall of Babel are two great events, the effects of which upon the aggregate intellect of mankind philosophers have often puzzled themselves to no purpose to explain. What influence these might produce upon the weaker portion of our race we presume not to conjecture, farther than by advancing the opinion, that the first reduced their numbers, and that the other multiplied their lingos. Without recurring to such extraordinary explanations, but following the usual course of things, we come at once to the conclusion, that, among the ladies of the ancient world, a habit of talking succeeded to the habit of sewing. It is obvious, that in their acts of barter, whereby they excambioned wearing apparel for precious metals, or any other medium of exchange, a great fluency of speech would be one of the first acquirements. To set off their bargains to the best advantage, they would describe the qualities of the stuffs, and praise the fashion of a suit, and maybe now and then mix in a word or two to depreciate the value of their neighbour's commodities. Hence was derived that faculty of speech which still continues to be employed with success for so many different pur

poses; nor need we wonder, considering the circumstances of rivalry in trade from which it took its rise, if it has since frequently assumed the shape of scandal. Thus it was that woman became a talking, from being a breeches-making, animal, by a process which has been to this hour developing itself, in results increasing in their importance, according to a geometrical progression, and threatening to reach an indefinite magnitude, which will propel the existing state of society onwards to the crisis of destiny, like a powerful lever, and give birth to a new state of things, defying human calculation to foresee either their nature or tendency.

This distinguishing element of the female character, we mean the habit of loquacity, arrived early at a very advanced stage of improvement, but did not attain its full maturity till the era of a discovery which stands in the same relation to the history of woman, that the invention of printing does to that of mankind. It was the importation of tea from China that gave stability to that faculty, which before had been exercised only in a desultory and ineffective manner. By the inducement which it afforded for the cultivation of social habits among the sex, and the fashion of evening parties, which it introduced, this invigorating stimulant furnished, like the ale house of the other gender, the means for refining intellect, for exercising talent, for propagating subjects of discussion, and for managing the intrigues and stratagems of private life. The matron no longer confined her gossip to the tired ears of a patient husband or submissive domestic, but sought amid congenial spirits the occasion of indulging more freely her favourite inclination. The young maiden, kindly invited to the soiree of an aunt or cousin, left her quiet home to mix in the busy politics of a circle of friends; and, above all, the time-worn spinster, whose shaking teeth had ceased to utter any sound but what was derogatory to her neighbour's fame, sought to mask her intentions along with her tea, and to infuse into her guests a steam of groundless insinuations, at the same time that she infused the decoction of the leaf. Thus tea parties grew apace; and thus the gossiping habits to which they led strengthened and confirmed the garrulous inclination which had been preinduced by former associations and events. And, having now brought down our sketch to this stage, beyond which the female mind has never progressed, we shall close it for the present with a brief moral observation.

It has been a disputed question with those who have written upon this subject, whether society, since the creation of the world, has been progressive, stationary or retrograde. We regard this, however, as a foolish discussion, and shall not trifle our time by entering upon it, in reference to that which is the more immediate matter of this treatise. We wish just to advert to one point, in which we think mainly consists the distinction between the advancement of man in the scale of civilization and the advancement of womanand that is, that while the former has passed through his different stages in succession, without preserving in each the characteristics of that which went before-but has been in turn a hunter, a shepherd, an agriculturist, and so on—we find that woman does not, upon acquiring a new qualification, forget those by which she was previously distinguished, but has been at one and the same time, and still continues to be, eminent for all the three branches of science, needle work, gossiping and tea drinking.

Now then, we have finished our task, and shown how woman became first a breeches maker from interest, a scandal dipper from jealousy, and a tea biber from necessity. We might proceed farther, and point out in what manner she acquired the fashionable accomplishments of life, such as dancing, which she practised from levity, and the art of decoration which she was taught by vanity; but we consider that we have writ enough, and wish it were worthier. And now, uncourteous reader, thou that lollest thy big wise eyes, and turnest up thy conceited nose, as if thy head were

DEAR BET,-I am afraid by this time you will be thinking I have forgot the promise I made you of sending you an account of our trip here, and how we got fixed in our new lodgings; but really, my dear girl, I have been in such a bustle since I came, about one thing or another, that I may truly say I have not, till this moment, had a minute to spare; what, with bathing and walking, and riding and sailing, while, to crown all, cousin Lucy has, for these few days past, been complaining of a pain in the breast; and, between ourselves, I do not like to hear of young ladies of her age having such ailments. The cunning little miux is very shy of my enquiries about her case; for do you know, I think it infectious, and that she caught it from some of the young officers that used to visit us while in town? but I may be wrong, so as it is a tender subject, you will please say nothing about it to any one at present: for if auntie Pyet hears of it, she will be saying we have all got the same complaint, and what a shocking thing that would be. But what do you think of Bob? I must tell you about Bob. You know he is very fond of a shine, so the other day he got a party made up to go to Inverary, and though I kept myself per'fectly disengaged, he never once mentioned the subject to me. Now, you know how often he has been with us at tea, which he might have very easily cleared off by a kind invite. But it does not matter. Quadrille nights will be on by and bye, and I will then screw a pin in master Bobby's nose. I think he will look rather queer, Miss Betsey, when he gets the go-bye from us upon our great occasions. The wretch justly deserves it, from the manner in which he spends his time; for he is either drinking cold punch, and smoking cigars in M'Corkindale's, or beauing about a great monster in blue, who happened to make one of the party in the late pleasure trip-pleasure trip, indeed! it's a trip that has set all the people here alaughing at them, for the gentlemen got tipsy, and the ladies could got nothing to eat; besides, the number of tales that are going about, makes me quite happy that I was not among them. What do you think of a Rothesay Doctor, dressed in a complete suit of tartan, with kilt and short hose, being of the party? (I am sure you will blush when you read of it, as much as I am doing just now while writing it ;) and a tall carroty-headed youth, entertaining the company, by imitating the noise of a hog? Really, I wonder Mr. Denoon does not speak to such people. Neither was this all: when they got to Inverary, they had every one of them to be carried ashore. Now figure the elegant and accomplished Miss P-, (she was of the party too) a calefourchon, on the back of a man. I declare I almost fainted when I heard of it. I hope, 'my dear Bet, you will keep this circumstance from the ear of a certain gentleman, as much as ever you can, for I have known of much smaller improprieties, on the part of a lady, being the means of breaking off a connection. By the bye, the lady that we met last Christmas in your aunt's; her, you know, whose singing made such an impression on your cousin Ned, has taken the garret above us, and evening and morning, and, indeed, at all hours of the day, she keeps singing and gingling away atan old ricketty piano, in such a manner, that we really can't hear ourselves speak. We call her "the lady of many airs;" and I can assure you, it is a nick-name she very well deserves, in more respects than one; for when she appears on the street, she is so gaudily dressed, and so highly civited or perfumed, call it which you will, that she puts one in mind of a tulip which has just been dipped in essence of roses; and then she affects to be so graceful in all her motions, that we cannot help thinking she has come down here on a spec, (as that wretch Bob says,) because she found herself on her last legs in Glasgow. You will excuse legs, my dear Bet. You know it is only with a bosom friend, like you, I would take the liberty of using the term, so don't think me more vulgar than when you last saw me. Mr. and Mrs. are down here at present enjoying the fortune that was lately left them. What a deal of fuss some people make about trifles; but, my dear Bet, how you would laugh, if you only saw them at what seems to be their enjoyment: their whole time is spent looking over the quay, and seeing the crabs fight. Now, as it's well known, they have plenty of crab-fighting at home, I cannot see what advantage they can have in such spectacles here, unless they are taking hints that may be useful when they open the winter champagne in town. Good gracious! it is enough to make any young lady's hair stand on end, to think what a life some married folks lead. Oh, Bet, dearest Bet, what is to become of us? Write me a long letter on this subject, and say what you think of Bob. Is he not a shocking monster? But stop, I see him coming up the street just now. I wont speak to him, however, till I hear from you. I am sure I shan't: so write me in all haste, and believe me, dearest, your ever faithful and affectionate, LUCRETIA VIRGINIA BAM.