Wid. And you have done me many a good job for't; and so, here's to you again.

2 Knight. Why, we have been perjured but six times for you.

1 Knight. Forged but four deeds, with your husband's last deed of gift.

2 Knight. And but three wills.

1 Knight. And counterfeited hands and seals to some six bonds; I think that's all, brother?

Wid. Ay, that's all, gentlemen; and so, here's to you again.

2 Knight. Nay, 'twould do one's heart good to be forsworn for you. You have a conscience in your ways, and pay us well.

1 Knight You are in the right on't, brother; one would be damned for her with all one's heart. 2 Knight. But there are rogues, who make us forsworn for 'em ; and when we come to be paid, they'll be forsworn too, and not pay us our wages, which they promised with oaths sufficient.

1 Knight. Ay, a great lawyer that shall be nameless bilked me too.

Wid. That was hard, methinks, that a lawyer should use gentlemen witnesses no better.

2 Knight. A lawyer! d'ye wonder lawyer should do't? I was bilked by a reverend divine, that preaches twice on Sundays, and prays half an hour still before dinner.

Wid. How! a conscientious divine and not pay people for damning themselves! sure then, for all his talking, he does not believe damnation. But, come, to our business. Pray be sure to imitate exactly the flourish at the end of this name. [Pulls out a deed or two. 1 Knight. O, he's the best in England at untangling a flourish, madam.

Wid. And let not the seal be a jot bigger. Observe well the dash too, at the end of this name. 2 Knight. I warrant you, madam.

Wid. Well, these and many other shifts, poor widows are put to sometimes; for everybody would be riding a widow, as they say, and breaking into her jointure. They think marrying a widow an easy business, like leaping the hedge where another has gone over before. A widow is a mere gap, a gap with them.

Enter Major OLDFOX, with two Waiters. The Knights of the Post huddle up the writings. What, he here! Go then, go my hearts, you have your instructions. [Exeunt Knights of the Post.

Old. Come, madam, to be plain with you, I'll be fobbed off no longer.-[Aside.] I'll bind her and gag her but she shall hear me.-[To the Waiters.] Look you, friends, there's the money I promised you; and now do you what you promised me : here my garters, and here's a gag.-[To the Widow.] You shall be acquainted with my parts, lady, you

shall.

Wid. Acquainted with your parts! A rape! a rape !-what, will you ravish me!

[The Waiters tie her to the chair, gag her,and exeunt.

Jer. O la! my mother bound hand and foot, and gaping as if she rose before her time to-day! Free. What means this, Oldfox? But I'll release you from him; you shall be no man's prisoner but mine. Bailliffs, execute your writ. [Unties her.

Old. Nay, then, I'll be gone, for fear of being bail, and paying her debts without being her husband. [Exit.

1 Bail. We arrest you in the king's name, at the suit of Mr. Freeman, guardian to Jeremiah Blackacre, Esquire, in an action of ten thousand pounds.

Wid. How, how, in a choke-bail action! What, and the pen-and-ink gentlemen taken too!-Have you confessed, you rogues?

1 Knight. We needed not to confess; for the bailiffs have dogged us hither to the very door, and overheard all that you and we said.

IVid. Undone, undone then! no man was ever too hard for me till now. O Jerry, child, wilt thou vex again the womb that bore thee?

Jer. Ay, for bearing me before wedlock, as you say. But I'll teach you to call a Blackacre bastard, though you were never so much my mother.

Wid. [Aside.] Well, I'm undone! not one trick left no law-mesh imaginable ?—[To FREEMAN.] Cruel sir, a word with you, I pray.

Free. In vain, madam; for you have no other way to release yourself, but by the bonds of matrimony.

Wid. How, sir, how! that were but to sue out a habeas-corpus, for a removal from one prison tc another.-Matrimony!

Free. Well, bailiffs, away with her.

Wid. O stay, sir! can you be so cruel as to bring me under Covert-Baron again, and put it out of my power to sue in my own name? Matrimony to a woman is worse than excommunication, in depriving her of the benefit of the law; and I would rather be deprived of life. But hark you, sir, I am contented you should hold and enjoy my person by lease or patent, but not by the spiritual patent called a licence; that is, to have the privileges of a husband, without the dominion; that is, Durante beneplacito. In consideration of which, I will out of my jointure secure you an annuity of three hundred pounds a year, and pay your debts; and that's all you younger brothers desire to marry a widow for, I'm sure.

Free. Well, widow, if-

making agreements without me? Jer. What! I hope, bully-guardian, you are not

Free. No, no. First, widow, you must say no more that he is a son of a whore; have a care of that And, then, he must have a settled exhibikept by you, but not upon the common; and have tion of forty pounds a year, and a nag of assizes, free ingress, egress, and regress, to and from your maids' garret.

Enter FREEMAN, JERRY BLACKACRE, three Bailiffs, a Constable, and his Assistants with the two Knights of the Post.

What, shall I never read my things undisturbed again!

trust her word for a farthing.

Free. I warrant thee, squire. - Well, widow, since thou art so generous, I will be generous too; and if you'll secure me four hundred pounds a year, but during your life, and pay my debts, not above a thousand pounds, I'll bate you your person, ta dispose of as you please.

Wid. Have a care, sir, a settlement without a consideration is void in law; you must do something for't.

Free. Prithee, then let the settlement on me be called alimony; and the consideration, our separation. Come; my lawyer, with writings ready drawn, is within, and in haste. Come.

Wid. But, what, no other kind of consideration, Mr. Freeman? Well, a widow, I see, is a kind of sinecure, by custom of which the unconscionable incumbent enjoys the profits, without anv duty, but does that still elsewhere. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-OLIVIA's Lodging.

Enter OLIVIA with a candle in her hand.

Oliv. So, I am now prepared once more for my timorous young lover's reception. My husband is gone; and go thou out too, thou next interrupter of love.-[Puts out the candle.] Kind darkness, that frees us lovers from scandal and bashfulness, from the censure of our gallants and the world !-So, are you there?

Enter FIDELIA, followed softly by MANLY. Come, my dear punctual lover, there is not such another in the world; thou hast beauty and youth to please a wife; address and wit, to amuse and fool a husband; nay, thou hast all things to be wished in a lover, but your fits. I hope, my dear, you won't have one to-night; and that you may not, I'll lock the door, though there be no need of it, but to lock out your fits: for my husband is just gone out of town again. Come, where are you? [Goes to the door and locks it.

Man. Well, thou hast impudence enough to give me fits too, and make revenge itself impotent; hinder me from making thee yet more infamous, if it can be. [Aside.

Oliv. Come, come, my soul, come.

Fid. Presently, my dear, we have time enough

sure.

Oliv. How, time enough! True lovers can no more think they ever have time enough, than love enough. You shall stay with me all night; but that is but a lover's moment. Come.

Fid. But won't you let me give you and myself the satisfaction of telling you how I abused your husband last night?

Oliv. Not when you can give me, and yourself too, the satisfaction of abusing him again to-night. Come.

Fid. Let me but tell you how your husbandOliv. O name not his, or Manly's more loathsome name, if you love me! I forbid 'em last night and you know I mentioned my husband but once, and he came. No talking, pray, 'twas minous to us.-[A noise at the door.] You make me fancy a noise at the door already, but I'm resolved not to be interrupted. Where are you? Come, for r her than lose my dear expectation now, though my sband were at the door, and the bloody ruffian Manly here in the room, with all his awful insolence, I would give myself to this dear hand, to be led away to heavens of joys, which none but thou canst give.--[The noise at the door increases.] But what's this noise at the door? So, i told you what talking would come to. Ha!-O heavens, my husband's voice![Listens at the door. I

Man. [Aside.] Freeman is come too soon. Oliv. O, 'tis he!-Then here's the happiest minute lost that ever bashful boy or trifling woman fooled away! I'm undone! my husband's reconcilement too was false, as my joy all delusion. But come this way, here's a back door.-[Exit, and returns.] The officious jade has locked us in, instead of locking others out; but let us then escape your way, by the balcony; and whilst you pull down the curtains, I'll fetch from my closet what next will best secure our escape. I have left my key in the door, and 'twill not suddenly be broken open. [Exit. [A noise as it were people forcing the door Man. Stir not yet, fearing nothing.

Fid. Nothing but your life, sir.

Man. We shall know this happy man she calls husband.

Re-enter OLIVIA.

Oliv. Oh, where are you? What, idle with fear? Come, I'll tie the curtains, if you will hold. Here take this cabinet and purse, for it is thine, if we escape;-[MANLY takes them from her]therefore let us make haste. [Exit.

Man. 'Tis mine indeed now again, and it shall never escape more from me, to you at least. [The door broke open, enter VERNISH with a dark

lantern and a sword, running at MANLY, who draws, puts by the thrust, and defends himself, whilst FIDELIA runs at VERNISH behind.

Ver. So, there I'm right, sure- [In a low voice. Man. [Softly.] Sword and dark-lantern, villain, are some odds; but

Ver. Odds! I'm sure I find more odds than I expected. What, has my insatiable two seconds at once? but[In a low voice. [Whilst they fight, OLIVIA re-enters, tying two curtains together.

Oliv. Where are you now? - What, is he entered then, and are they fighting? O do not kill one that can make no defence !-[MANLY throws VERNISH down and disarms him.] How! but I think he has the better on't. Here's his scarf, 'tis he. So, keep him down still: I hope thou hast no hurt, my dearest ? [Embracing Manly.

Enter FREEMAN, Lord PLAUSIBLE, NOVEL, JERRY BLACKACRE, and the Widow BLACKACRE, lighted by the two Sailors with torches.

ever.

Ha!-what!-Manly! and have I been thus concerned for him! embracing him! and has he his jewels again too! What means this? O, 'tis too sure, as well as my shame! which I'll go hide for [Offers to go out, MANLY stops her. Man. No, my dearest; after so much kindness as has passed between us, I cannot part with you yet. -Freeman, let nobody stir out of the room; for notwithstanding your lights, we are yet in the dark, till this gentleman please to turn his face-[ Pulls VERNISH by the sleeve.] How, Vernish! thou the happy man then? thou! thou! speak, I say; but thy guilty silence tells me all.-Well, I shall not upbraid thee; for my wonder is striking me as dunib as thy shame has made thee. But what? my little volunteer hurt, and fainting! Fid. My wound, sir, is but a slight one in my arm; tis only my fear of your danger, sir, not yet well over.

art

Man. But what's here? more strange things!

Fid. I must confess I needed no compulsion to follow you all the world over; which I attempted in this habit, partly out of shame to own my love to you, and fear of a greater shame, your refusal of it: for I knew of your engagement to this lady, and the constancy of your nature; which nothing could have altered but herself.

Man. Dear madam, I desired you to bring me out of confusion, and you have given me more. I know not what to speak to you, or how to look upon you; the sense of my rough, hard, and ill usage of you, (though chiefly your own fault,) gives me more pain now 'tis over, than you had when you suffered it: and if my heart, the refusal of such a woman-[Pointing to OLIVIA]-were not a sacrifice to profane your love, and a greater wrong to you than ever yet I did you; I would beg of you to receive it, though you used it as she had done; for though it deserved not from her the treatment she gave it, it does from you.

Fid. Then it has had punishment sufficient from her already, and needs no more from me; and, I must confess, I would not be the only cause of making you break your last night's oath to me, of never parting with me; if you do not forget or repent it.

Man. Then take for ever my heart, and this with it ;-(gives her the cabinet) for 'twas given to you before, and my heart was before your due: I only beg leave to dispose of these few. madam, I never yet left my wench unpaid.

Here,

Takes some of the jewels, and offers them to OLIVIA ; she strikes them down: PLAUSIBLE and NOVEL take them up.

Oliv. So it seems, by giving her the cabinet. Plaus. These pendants appertain to your most faithful humble servant.

Nov. And this locket is mine; my earnest for love, which she never paid: therefore my own again.

Wid. By what law, sir, pray?--Cousin Olivia, a word. What, do they make a seizure on your

goods and chattels, vi et armis ? Make your de mand, I say, and bring your trover, bring your trover. I'll follow the law for you.

Oliv. And I my revenge.

[Exit.

Man. [To VERNISH.] But 'tis, my friend, in your consideration most, that I would have returned part of your wife's portion; for 'twere hard to take all from thee, since thou hast paid so dear for't, in being such a rascal. Yet thy wife is a fortune without a portion; and thou art a man of that extraordinary merit in villany, the world and fortune can never desert thee, though I do; therefore be not melancholy. Fare you well, sir.-[Exit VERNISH doggedly.] Now, madam, I beg your pardon [turning to FIDELIA] for lessening the present I made you; but my heart can never be lessened. This, I confess, was too small for you before; for you deserve the Indian world; and I would now go thither, out of covetousness for your sake only.

Fid. Your heart, sir, is a present of that value, 1 can never make any return to't. -[Puliing MANLY from the company.] But I can give you back such a present as this, which I got by the loss extraction, whose only child I was, therefore left of my father, a gentleman of the north, of no mean me in the present possession of two thousand pounds a-year; which I left, with multitudes of pretenders, to follow you, sir; having in several public places seen you, and observed your actions thoroughly, with admiration, when you were too much in love to take notice of mine, which yet was but too visible. The name of my family is Grey, my other Fidelia. The rest of my story you shall know when I have fewer auditors.

Man. Nay, now, madam, you have taken from me all power of making you any compliment on my part; for I was going to tell you, that for your sake only I would quit the unknown pleasure of a retirement; and rather stay in this ill world of ours still, though odious to me, than give you more frights again at sea, and make again too great a venture there, in you alone. But if I should tell you now all this, and that your virtue (since greater than I thought any was in the world) had now reconciled me to't, my friend here would say, 'tis your estate that has made me friends with the

world.

Free. I must confess I should; for I think most have to a handsome woman; only because we canof our quarrels to the world are just such as we not enjoy her as we would do.

Man. Nay, if thou art a plain dealer too, give me thy hand; for now I'll say, I am thy friend indeed; and for your two sakes, though I have been so lately deceived in friends of both sexes,I will believe there are now in the world Good-natured friends, who are not prostitutes, And handsome women worthy to be friends; Yet, for my sake, let no one e'er confide In tears, or oaths, in love, or friend untried. [Exeunt omnes.