Parts may be praised, good nature is ador'd;
Then draw your wit as seldom as your sword,
And never on the weak.

Those who scatter brilliant jibes without caring whom they wound, are as unwise as they are unkind. Those sharp little sarcasms that bear a sting in their words, rankle long, sometimes forever, in the mind, and fester often into a fatal hatred never to be abated.

PROPER RESERVE.

Every one should avoid displaying his mind and principles and character entirely, but should let his remarks only open glimpses to his understanding. For women this precept is still more important. They are like moss-roses, and are most beautiful in spirit and in intellect, when they are but half-unfolded.

PROFESSIONAL PECULIARITIES.

When a man goes into company, he should leave behind him all peculiarities of mind and manners. That, indeed, constitued Dr. Johnson's notion of a gentleman; and as far as negatives go, the notion was correct. It is in bad taste, particularly, to employ technical or professional terms in general conversation. Young physicians and lawyers often commit that error.

The most eminent members of those occupations

are the most free from it; for the reason, that the most eminent have the most sense.

MODESTY.

Young men often, through real modesty, put forth their remarks in the form of personal opinions; as, with the introduction of, "I think so-and-so," or, "Now, I, for my part, have found it otherwise." This is generally prompted by humility; and yet it has an air of arrogance. The persons who employ such phrases, mean to shrink from affirming a fact into expressing a notion, but are taken to be designing to extend an opinion into an affirmance of a fact.

COVERSING WITH LADIES

If you are a gentleman, never lower the intellectual standard of your conversation in addressing ladies. Pay them the compliment of seeming to consider them capable of an equal understanding with gentlemen. You will, no doubt, be somewhat surprised to find in how many cases the supposition will be grounded on fact, and in the few instances where it is not the ladies will be pleased rather than offended at the delicate compliment you pay them. When you "come down" to commonplace or smalltalk with an intelligent lady, one of two things is the consequence, she either recognizes the condescension and despises you, or else she accepts it as

the highest intellectual effort of which you are capable, and rates you accordingly.

CONCLUSION,

The foregoing rules are not simply intended as good advice. They are strict laws of etiquette, to violate any one of which justly subjects a person to the imputation of being ill-bred. But they should not be studied as mere arbitrary rules. The heart should be cultivated in the right manner until the acts of the individual spontaneously flow in the right channels.

A recent writer remarks on this subject: "Conversation is a reflex of character. The pretentious, the illiterate, the impatient, the curious, will as inevitably betray their idiosyncrasies as the modest, the even-tempered and the generous. Strive as we may, we cannot always be acting. Let us therefore, cultivate a tone of mind and a habit of life the betrayal of which need not put us to shame in the company of the pure and wise; and the rest will be easy. If we make ourselves worthy of refined and intelligent society, we shall not be rejected from it; and in such society we shall acquire by example all that we have failed to learn from precept."

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CHAPTER VII

VISITS.

F visits there are various kinds, visits of congratulation, visits of condolence, visits of ceremony, visits of friendship.

Such visits are necessary, in order to maintain good feeling between the members of society; they are required by the custom of the age in which we live. and must be carefully attended to.

VISITS OF CONGRATULATIONS.

Upon the appointment of one of your friends to any office or dignity, you call upon him to congratulate, not him, but the country, community or state, on account of the honor and advantage which it derives from the appointment.

If one of your friends has delivered a public oration, call upon him when he has returned home, and tender to him your thanks for the great pleasure and satisfaction for which you are indebted to him, and express your high estimation of the luminous, ele

gant, &c. discourse, trusting that he will be prevailed upon to suffer it published.

VISITS OF CEREMONY OR CALLS.

Visits of ceremony, merging occasionally into those of friendship, but uniformly required after dining at a friends's house. Professional men are not however, in general, expected to pay such visits, because their time is preoccupied; but they form almost the only exception.

TIME TO MAKE CEREMONIOUS VISITS.

Visits of ceremony must be necessarily short. They should on no account be made before the hour, nor yet during the time of luncheon. Persons who intrude themselves at unwonted hours are never welcome; the lady of the house does not like to be disturbed when she is perhaps dining with her children; and the servants justly complain of being interrupted at the hour when they assemble for their noon-day meal. Ascertain, therefore, which you can readily do, what is the family hour for luncheon, and act accordingly.

KEEP AN ACCOUNT OF CEREMONIAL VISITS:

Keep a strict account of your ceremonial visits. This is needful, because time passes rapidly; and take note how soon your calls are returned. You will thus be able, in most cases, to form an opinion whether or not your frequent visits are desired. Instances