IN

CHAPTER IX.

STREET ETIQUETTE.

England a gentleman is not expected to speak

to a lady on the street or recognize her, unless she first salutes him with a smile or bow. But on the continent of Europe the rule is reversed, and no lady, however intimate you may be with her, will acknowledge you in the street unless you first honor her with a bow of recognition. The American fashion is not like either of them. For here the really well-bred man always politely and respectfully bows to every lady he knows, and, if she is a well-bred woman, she acknowledges the respect paid her. If she expects no further acquaintance, her bow is a mere formal, but always respectful, recognition of the good manners which have been shown her, and no gentleman ever takes advantage of such politeness to push a further acquaintance uninvited. But why should a lady and gentleman, who know who each other are, scornfully and doggedly pass each other in the streets as though they were enemies? There is no good reason for such impoliteness, in the prac

tice of politeness. As compared with the English, the French or continental fashion is certainly more consonant with the rules of good breeding. But the American rule is better than either, for it is based upon the acknowledged general principle, that it is every gentleman's and lady's duty to be polite in all places. Unless parties have done something to forfeit the respect dictated by the common rules of politeness, there should be no deviation from this practice. It is a ridiculous idea that we are to practice ill-manners in the name of etiquette.

RECOGNIZING FRIENDS ON THE STREET.

While walking the street no one should be so absent-minded as to neglect to recognize his friends. If you do not stop, you should always bow, touch your hat, or bid your friend good day. If you stop, you can offer your hand without removing your glove. If you stop to talk, retire on one side of the walk. If your friend has a stranger with him and you have anything to say, you should apologize to the stranger. Never leave your friend abruptly to see another person without asking him to excuse your departure. If you meet a gentleman of your acquaintance walking with a lady whom you do not know, lift your hat as you salute them. If you know the lady you should salute her first.

Never fail to raise your hat politely to a lady acquaintance; nor to a male friend who may be walking with a lady-it is a courtesy to the lady.

OMITTING TO RECOGNIZE ACQUAINTANCES.

A gentleman should never omit a punctilious observance of the rules of politeness to his recognized acquaintances, from an apprehension that he will not be met with reciprocal marks of respect. For instance, he should not refuse to raise his hat to an acquaintance who is accompanied by a lady, lest her escort should, from ignorance or stolidity, return his polite salutation with a nod of the head. It is better not to see him, than to set the example of a rude and indecorous salutation. In all such cases, and in all cases, he who is most courteous has the advantage, and should never feel that he has made a humiliating sacrifice of his personal dignity. It is for the party whose behavior has been boorish to have a consciousness of inferiority.

SHAKING HANDS WITH A LADY.

Never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on dark gloves, as you may soil her white ones. If you meet a lady friend with whom you wish to converse, you must not stop, but turn and walk along with her; and should she be walking with a gentleman, first assure yourself that you are not intruding before you attempt to join the two in their walk.

YOUNG LADIES CONDUCT ON THE STREET.

After twilight, a young lady would not be conducting herself in a becoming manner, by walking alone;

and if she passes the evening with any one, she ought, beforehand, to provide some one to come for her at a stated hour; but if this is not practicable, she should politely ask of the person whom she is visiting, to permit a servant to accompany her. But, however much this may be considered proper, and consequently an obligation, a married lady, well educated, will disregard it if circumstances prevent her being able, without trouble, to find a conduc

tor.

ACCOMPANYING VISITORS.

If the host wishes to accompany you himself, you must excuse yourself politely for giving him so much trouble but finish, however, by accepting. On arriving at your house, you should offer him your thanks. In order to avoid these two inconveniences, it will be well to request your husband, or some one of your relatives, to come and wait upon you; you will, in this way, avoid all inconveniences, and be entirely free from that harsh criticism which is sometimes indulged in, especially in small towns, concerning even the most innocent acts.

FULFILLING AN ENGAGEMENT.

If, when on your way to fulfill an engagement, a friend stops you in the street, you may, without committing any breach of etiquette, tell him of your appointment, and release yourself from a long talk,

but do so in a courteous manner, expressing regret for the necessity.

CONDUCT WHILE SHOPPING.

In inquiring for goods at a store, do not say, I want so and so, but say to the clerk-show me such or such an article, if you please-or use some other polite form of address. If you are obliged to examine a number of articles before you are suited, apologize to him for the trouble you give him. If, after all, you cannot suit yourself, renew your apologies when you go away, If you make only small purchases, say to him-I am sorry for having troubled you for so trifling a thing.

TAKING OFF YOUR GLOVE.

You need not stop to pull off your glove to shake hands with a lady or gentleman. If it is warm weather it is more agreeable to both parties that the glove should be on-especially if it is a lady with whom you shake hands, as the perspiration of your bare hand would be very likely to soil her glove.

ASKING INFORMATION.

If a lady addresses an inquiry to a gentleman on the street, he will lift his hat, or at least touch it respectfully, as he replies. If he cannot give the information required, he will express his regrets.