All are not gentlemen by birth; but all may be gentlemen in openness, in modesty of language, in attracting no man's attention by singularities, and giving no man offence by forwardness; for it is this, in matter of speech and style, which is the sure mark of good taste and good breeding.-DEAN ALFORD. Awkwardness in conversation usually arises from a nervous dread of saying the wrong thing. A sudden question discomposes. No answer is at hand. To consider and devise an answer would make too long a pause, even if the mind were collected, while in fact to think coolly under the awaiting eye of the questioner is impossible. So the victim begins a reply without a hint as to how he shall complete it, stammers, blunders, and retires despairingly. A shy person not only feels pain but gives pain; but, what is the worst, he incurs blame for a want of that rational and manly cofidence which is so useful to those who possess it, and so pleasan to those who witness it. I am severe against shyness, because i looks like a virtue; and because it gives us false notions of wha the real virtue is.-SYDNEY SMITH. Recognized Phrases.-There are few such emergencies for which society has not provided. To devise an original greeting for each of our acquaintances would be a task quite beyond us; but it is conventionally agreed that all shall be contented with "How do you do?" When we know this form of greeting, and know that it will be considered sufficient, our mental energy, no longer paralyzed by the dread of being found at a loss, enables us to grope about for a more special salutation, assured that if we fail to find it we have at our tongue's end a formula adequate to the occasion. The first requisite to swimming well is to be assured one is not going to drown. A diner-out of long experience has left succeeding generations heir to these two rules: 1. Always know what it is conventional to say; 2. Say something else. A man meeting another grasped his hand cordially and exclaimed in tones of polite but uncertain recognition, "Mr. Brown, I bclieve?" "If you believe that," calmly replied the stranger, whose name was Hamilton, "you'll believe anything." Mr. Brown rccognized and responded to the humor of the reply, and a pleasan’ acquaintance followed. Frank confession, from its rarity, often produces the effect of wit. Thus a man in whose honor a dinner was given, responding to the toast offered him, declined to make a speech on the ground that a morbid desire for originality restrained him from saying that this was the proudest moment of his life, and it really didn't occur to him to say anything else. The conventionalities of society are comparatively few in number and easily acquired. How little of the phrase of common intercourse is of modern origin is amusingly shown in the still familiar forms laid down in Swift's Complete Collection of Genteel and Ingenious Conversations," and even in the "Colloquies" of Erasmus. It is not so much that the words are stereotyped, though there is considerable uniformity of expression. But it is understood, for instance, that when one meets an acquaintance, one is to greet him, and show interest in him by inquiries as to himself, his family, his friends. These inquiries are to the well-bred man a matter of course, and are made through habit without thought or effort. Meantime one has recovered from one's surprise, has recalled what one knows of the acquaintance, his position, his history, the circumstances under which one has met him, and is ready without a break in the conversation to suggest some topic likely to be of interest. Were there no established forms of greeting, but were the two required from the first word to evolve the proper thing to say and the proper way to say it, we may be sure such encounters would be awkward and dreaded. Erasmus (1526) gives a multitude of forms for all ordinary occasions, between all sorts of persons, a fair proportion of which are still in use. Thus for "Farewell," at parting, we have: "Fare ye all well. Farewell. Take care of your health. Take a great care of your health. I bid you good-by. Time calls me away, fare ye well," etc., etc. Swift (1730) in playful sarcasm published a collection of "at least a thousand shining questions, answers, repartees, replies and rejoinders, fitted to adorn every kind of discourse that an assembly of English ladies and gentlemen, met together for their mutual entertainment, can possibly want;" he boldly affirmed that "the whole genius, humor, politeness, and eloquence of England" were summed up in it, the last six or seven years not having added above nine valuable sentences; he further faithfully assured the reader that there was not a single witty phrase in the collection which had not received the stamp and approbation of at least one hundred years, so that all might be relied upon as "genuine, sterling, and authentic." As might be expected, the collection is of shallow and slang phrases, which one might think ephemeral. Yet no small proportion may be heard at this day wherever people are gathered in idle mood. Some of the commonest are the following: IN ST. JAMES' PARK. Col. Atwit. How do you do, Tom? Tom Neverout. Never the better for you. Col. Why, every one as they like, as the good woman said when she kissed the cow. |