but hitherto had been unable to speak. | lucky; but it'll be all the same a hun"No it don't; and just please to leave my dred years hence. Cut along!" ribs alone, will you? That's where I keep my tin. There ain't much, but what there is I want." And with this he made an outward application to his waistcoat pocket, and assured himself that his four Sovereigns lay snugly there imbedded. "Well, no offence, mister. I meant no harm." And the Samaritan abruptly withdrew, with the air of a man to whom the doing of a worthy action is its own sufficient reward. "What did that fellow mean by poking and pawing me about so, mum?" said Dick to the woman. "Can you give a guess? Let me have a bottle of pop. Why, mum," he added presently, setting down the glass, "he was a prig, and thought me precious green; but I'm wide awake." Having uttered these words smilingly, but with a dash of satire in the intonation, he laid twopence on the counter, and issued into the street, where he confronted the coachman, who had come to look after him. "I say, Master Jarvey," said he, "that vehicle o' yours ain't a patent safety, by no means. It ain't fit for two horses' tails to be turned to it. No-no-I won't get into it again." "That be blowed!" cried the other, you're not a-goin' to come that, after hirin' on me! Pay me my fare." "I sha'n't do no such a thing!" returned Dick, and walked briskly away; but, looking round, and seeing a detaining hand about to be placed upon him, he took to his heels with amazing rapidity, and was soon lost in the distance. He had made considerable progress towards his destination-indeed, he was not very far from Delta Villas, when it occurred to him that his roll into the road might have tarnished his apparel. An inspection of his gossamer elicited the fact that the brim had taken an upward direction in front; and, on applying the corner of his cambric handkerchief to his face, he discovered that that attractive combination of features had been soiled to an exigence of soap and water. "I'll go into that little public-house,' said he, "and set myself to rights. It won't do to show myself at Garton's in this dishabill. Cuss it, I'm precious un Cheered by these philosophical stimulants, he entered the house, and made it his request to the landlady in the bar that she would permit him to set himself to rights. The landlady heard this request with little apparent sympathy for the occasion of it, for it seemed to her that Dick Sparrow was not likely to approve himself an absorbent. She, however, called to a girl, and bade her take the young man into the kitchen; but presently recollecting herself, added, “No, I shall want to come there myself. Take him up to the second floor back;”—and Dick followed his guide upstairs, and was ushered into a room. And here he found, after an inspection of himself in the glass, and a diligent scrutiny of his garments, that he had a longer job cut out for him than he had anticipated,-a job rendered the more tedious from the untoward circumstance that there was no brush in the room. "The old woman looked so precious sour, and was so busy with the mixed liquors, that I shouldn't like to ask her for a brush," mused Dick. "Never mind; I'll rub my clothes with the inside of that counterpane. No one 'll be the wiser." He now set to work in right earnest, and, his labors just completed, had walked into the corner for his cane, when he thought he heard a light step at the door; and, turning round, was just in time to see a female head withdrawn before the door was closed and locked. "Here's a blessed move!" said Dick, staring about him. "Dash'd if they have n't fastened me in! Thought I'd bolted; and I sha'n't be able to make 'em hear in a month. I'll try, though." He was just about to lift up his voice, and to propel it through the keyhole, when a sound as of two men ascending greeted his ears. They 're coming to let me out, to be sure. Bother that fool of a girl!" The two men halted close to the door. "Well," said one, "what I've brought you up here for, and want to know is, D'ye think he 'll come out?" To be sure he will," answered the other," if you kick him." "Well, I'll give him a little time, and then knock him down for one," observed the first speaker. The company in general stared; but their perplexity was soon relieved by obstreperous merriment proceeding from "Good: and if that won't do, we'll stick | tell you all. It was an error of judgment, it into him, and no mistake. and there's no great harm done." With this the two men went down Dick being drawn in, and seated by the stairs, leaving the listener at the key-hole chairman, received a glass of rum and more dead than alive. Here were terri-water, and explained wherefore he had bly intelligible words! Here was a frank entered the house, repeating the ominous avowal of an intention to "cook his words that had set him upon this hazardgoose!" Dick's personal courage, a small ous method of escape. and subtle essence, disturbed by the foreign gentleman at the Lyceum, tampered with by the hackney-coachman, now evaporated altogether. Penny romances the chairman and his vice. had quickened his sense of danger by revelations of road-side public-houses, where bedsteads descended through the floors, and the landlords were blood-boltered assassins. This must be one of such dens of horror,-the old house in West Street moved out of town, and set up in the public line. Some such thoughts as these passed through his mind as he hurried to the window. It was no great height from the ground. There was yet a chance of escape. He had heard of such things practised successfully. He'd have a try. "After that, Perkins, you must sing," cried the chairman, when he recovered breath,-" or we will stick it into you by making you stand glasses round. Mr. Vice and I wanted to fix you, and went out of the room here to talk about it; but, seeing you coming up stairs, we moved on to the second-Hoor." the Не "If Aunt Reddish knew what they 're Dick was well laughed at by going to do, would n't she go on! Oh! Goldfinches,"-for so they called themthat I was at home, and father jawing at selves; but that he little cared for. me as he does when he's half sprung,-joined in the laugh, dispersed his cigars, that's all." reserving one for himself, had some more rum and water, and was duly elected a " Goldfinch," and promised a weekly attendance. This sort of relaxation was so new and delightful to him that he would probably have forgotten Garton's altogether, but that he discovered that he had come to the end of his silver, and felt that Aunt Reddish's sovereigns were inviolable. Added to this, one of the party had for some time past been regarding him with a pair of black and glaring eyes, that reminded him startlingly of the Lyceum gentleman; and not knowing that the gazer was inwardly resolved upon favoring his friends with "The Wolf," and that he was meditating the lowest bass notes he could descend to,—but, on the contrary, suspecting that the stranger had an evil design upon him, he was too glad to be gone, and took his hasty and disconcerted departure. Clawing off the counterpane, therefore, he tied the two sheets together, and fastened one to the bed-post, placing his foot against the bedstead to make the knot secure. This done, he laid hold upon the sheet tightly with both hands, and got out of the window. But before he had yet made any effort at descent, he did descend with terribly unexpected quickness, and, looking up with terrified amazement, there was a bed-post glimmering at the window,-a testimony that the piece of furniture to which it belonged went upon castors. And now a wild burst of laughter almost deprived him of his wits; and glancing whence it proceeded, he discovered that he was hanging suspended immediately in front of the first-floor window, through which he beheld some dozen of decent Christians seated at the convivial board. "Got clear of him, at any rate," said Dick when he was well on the road. "It must be precious late. That rum and water was rather stiff. I'm half lit up. Well, what's the odds! How terribly peckish I am, to be sure! Ah! there's "Don't go to chaff me, that's good gen-Garton's. tlemen, or I shall let go, and break my sprawl." neck," said Dick, as the window was thrown up, and two men caught him under the arms. "Just pull me in, and I'll There are the lions, full And there they were, sure enough, flanking the street-door; sculptured objects at once of ornament and conveniTence,-of ornament to the general eye, Dick remembered the postman with the letter at his nose, just before he set forth. 'Well, never mind the letter," said he. "Bother the letter! You've put off the party. Nimport. What d'ye look so for at me? I'm very late; but I'll tell you all about it. Let us come in. I'm so peckish-so hungry, I mean.” "Hungry, are you?" cried Garton, savagely, and at that moment a servant came out of the parlor with the tantalizing remainder of a sirloin, with which she walked off into the kitchen,—“hungry, are you? Perhaps you'd like a rasher of Dunmow bacon?" and while the horror caused by this interrogatory was wreaking itself upon Dick's countenance, Garton called out, "Mrs. G., just step this way. Here's that impudent rascal, young Sparrow, come to pay his respects to you." I've heard him," said the lady, making her appearance from the parlor, with a tongue in one hand, and a roast fowl in the other; "and so we're always at it, hammer and tongs, are we?" and so saying, she wheeled off with her attractive burthen towards the kitchen. "For heaven's sake, don't go! Come back, Mrs. Garton. It's all a mistake. That Prater 's one of the cussedest liars-" But his speech was cut short by the apparition of Miss Maria, who, walking up to him, tossed her head, grimaced, said in measured cadence, "Oh-you-puppy!" and tripped away with one of the most soul-entrancing pigeon pies that ever showed upturned claws in the centre,and Dick almost went into hysterics. "And now begone, sir!" exclaimed Garton, and he gave Dick a good shaking; we've done with you. Don't come near us again, or you'll repent it. Be off, sir!"-and the door was shut in his face. Might this be a dream? Could it be a vision? Was it a joke? Dick waited for the chance of their relenting, till lights appeared in the bed-chambers on the second floor, and then conscience told him he deserved no lenity, and sitting down on the top step, cheek by jowl with one of the lions, he wept. "Well," said he, at length, rubbing his nose with his kid-gloved hand, "if I sit much longer on this cold step, I shall get a jolly cold. If I don't give it that Prater!-a spy, an informer, a traitor! Never mind. I'll go home now. Maria and me's cut, clean-cut. Well, I hope she 'll meet a more deserving object." And at the paternal home in Cannon Street, weary and woe-begone, did Dick Sparrow at length find himself. His Aunt Reddish answered the door. "Why, you're very late, Richard,— very late," said the old lady somewhat reproachfully. Yes; but never you mind," answered Dick sharply; for he felt that the sufferings he had undergone might justly exempt him from idle and frivolous indications of displeasure,-"yes, I am late; but that's not the worst. Is father abed?" "Yes." up stairs, and Dick fell to, while his aunt | sense, and make it up with Maria. Why, looked upon him with mingled interest I meant no harm,-did I? and you shall and curiosity. "Oh, aunt!" said he, taking another draught at the stout, "I've gone through such things to-night as a book might be written about. I'm so precious done up! Why do people pray in their hats when they first get into church? That they may always have somewhere to put their heads into, I suppose." (Dick had heard this before.) "But sha'n't I pray in my night-cap before I get into bed,-that's all!" Dick now recounted his adventures, softening down such details as might haply tell to his own disadvantage, and suffering his aunt to draw off Uncle Reddish's ring, which she did while he was have your money back as soon as the nuptials are solomonized." Solomonized"repeated the aunt several times slowly, lighting a chamber candlestick, placing it in his hand, and giving him a gentle thrust at the skruff of the neck towards the door. "Solomonized! when you're married, Richard, there 'll be very little of Solomon in the business." And Dick sneaked up to bed, wondering what on earth his Aunt Reddish could mean by such a speech as that. MEN. CHARLES WHITEHEAD. in the middle of the hackney-coach scene. LODGINGS FOR SINGLE GENTLE"And you've spent all your money, have you?" asked the aunt when he had concluded. "Every fraction. Six or seven bob," said Dick to whom the stout had given new life. "Ah! you're very young and foolish, my boy. You've suffered a good deal tonight; but if you'd read the letter (I've broken it open-here it is), you'd have been spared the last trial. I was in hopes you had made it up with Mr. Garton; and have been sitting on thorns all the while you 've been away. But now, just give me back those four sovereigns, that's a good lad; for you 're not fit to be trusted with money, indeed, you 're not." "Ain't I though?" cried Dick with animation, and he drew out with a flourish, and slapped upon the table four bright yellow medals, bearing the date of 1837, and commemorative of the accession of her Majesty to the throne of these realms. At this miserable spectacle the eyes of poor Aunt Reddish assumed the orbicular form, with a kind of fish-like projection; but the direful metamorphosis of her nephew's visage caused her to bury her particular grief in silence, and to bestow her best care upon Dick, who, shaking his shoulders, and kicking out his legs, went forthwith into hysterics. WHO has e'er been in Loudon, that overgrown place, Has seen "Lodgings to let " stare him full in the face; Some are good, and let dearly; whilst some, 't is well known, sion. "That prig it was that boned 'em!" said he, when he came to himself; but it In six months, his acquaintance began was long ere he would be comforted. much to doubt him, At length an idea struck him. "I'll For his skin, like a lady's loose gown, hung get Prater to swear it was all his nonabout him. He sent for a doctor; and cried, like a ninny, "I have lost many pounds. Make me well. There's a guinea." THE STOLEN PIG. IN the village of X-, where every The doctor looked wise:-"A slow fever," householder had his kitchen garden and E'en dismissing the doctor don't always succeed; So, calling his host, he said, "Sir, do you know, The kept his own cow and pig, a generous I'm the fat single gentleman, six monthsing a part of it away to friends from ago? "The oven!" says Will. Says the host, "Why this passion? In that excellent bed died three people of fashion. Why so crusty, good Sir ?"-" Zounds !" cries Will, in a taking, "Who would n't be crusty, with half a year's baking ?" whom he was accustomed to receive similar gifts was so distressing to him that perate hope of hitting upon some expehe kept postponing the day, in the desTo kill his pig secretly was impossible: dient for keeping the pig all to himself. in this state of mind he met an acquaintand he was in a serious quandary. While shrewdness than for integrity, and as they ance who had a better reputation for were kindred spirits at least in respect of selfishness, our friend resolved to unbosom himself, and to seek advice of his cunning fellow-townsman. The latter heard the story, expressed sympathy with the niggardly intention, and told him that the matter could easily be managed so that the neighbors would get none of the pig and yet be unoffended. "What is your plan?" eagerly demanded the other. Simply this: Kill your pig as usual, without any effort at concealment, and when it is dressed hang the carcass up in plain view where the neighbors can see it. At night remove it to your cellar. Now, all you have to to do is to say that while you slept some thief entered the cellar and stole the pig! Of course, that will put an end to any expectations on the part of the neighbors,-for how can a man give away what he hasn't got?" "Good," said the owner of the pig: "I will follow the plan you advise; you have "Friend, we can't well agree,-yet no quar-lifted a heavy load from my mind." And Will paid for his rooms:-cried the host, with a sneer, "Well, I see you've been going away half year." rel-" Will said, a "But I'd rather not perish, while you make your bread." GEORGE COLMAN, THE YOUNGER, 1762-1836. so they parted. The pig was duly killed, and dressed, and hung up, and put into the cellar; and at night, while the stingy owner slept, his rascally adviser duly |