A MUSING. CLXXXIX.--THE WIDOW BEDOTT TO ELDER SNIFFLES. 1. SENCE the first time I heerd you preach, I 've had an undiscribable desire to have some privit conversashun with you in regard to the state of my mind-your discourse was so wonderful sarchin, that I felt to mourn over my backslidden state of stewpidity, and my consarn increased every time I've sot under the droppins of your sanctuery. Last night, when I heerd of your sickness I felt wonderful overcom; onable to conseal my aggitation, I retired to my chamber, and bust into a flud of tears. I felt for you, elder Sniffles-I felt for you. I was wonderful exercised in view of your lone condition. 2. O, it's a terrible thing to be alone in the world! I know all about it by experience, for I 've been pardnerless for nigh twelve year; its a trying thing, but I thought 't was better to be alone than to run enny resk-for yer know it's runnin' a great resk to take a second companion, espeshelly if they aint decidedly pious-and them that 's tried to perswade me to change my condition, dident none of 'em give very satisfactory evidence of piety-'taint for me to say how menny I've refused on account of their want of religion. Accordin' to my notions, riches and grander aint to be compared to religion, no how you can fix it, and I always told 'em so. 3. But I was tellin' how overcome I was when I heerd of your being attacked with influenzy. I felt as if I must go right over and take care of you. I wouldent desire no better intertainment than to nuss you up, and if 'twant for the speech of peeple, Ide fly to your relefe instanter; but I know 't would make talk, and so I'm necessitated to stay away. 4. But I felt so consarned about you that I could n't help writin' these few lines to you to let you know how anxious I be on your account, and to beg of you to take care of yourself. O elder, do be careful-the influenzy 's a danger. ous eppidemik, if you let it run on without attendin' to it in season-do be careful-consider what a terrible thing 't would be for you to be took away in the height of yer yusefulnis; and O, elder, no body wouldent feel yer loss with more intensitude than what I should, though mebby I hadent oughter say so. 5. O, elder Sniffles, I do feel as if I couldent part will you no how. I'm so interested in your preachin', and it 's had such a wonderful attendancy to subdew my prejudishes agin' your denominashun, and has sot me considerin' whether or no there aint good christuns in all denominashuns, 'cept, of course, the unevarsallers. 6. O, reverend elder, I intreat you to take care of your preshus health. I send you herewith a paper of boneset, you must make some good stiff tea on 't and drink about a quart to-night afore you retire. Molasses or vinegar 's a good thing, too, for a cold or coff; jest take about a pint of molasses and bile it down with a teacup of vinegar and a hunk of butter as big as a hen's egg, and stir in about a half a teacup full of peppersass, and eat it down hot jest afore bedtime-and take a strip of flannil, and rub some hog's lard on 't, though goose ile 's about as good, and pin it round yer throte rite off; and I send likewise a bag of hops--you must dip it in bilin' vinegar and lap it on yer chist when you go to bed, and keep a dippin' on 't as fast as it begins to git cool; and jest afore you git into bed, soke yer feet in bilin' hot water with some red peppers in it; now do n't forgit nothing I 've proscribed. 7. But I was a tellin' how exercised I was when I heerd of your sickness. I went immejitly to my chamber, and gin away to a voiellent flud of tears. I retired to my couche of repose, but my aggetashun prevented my sleepin'. I felt quite a call to express my feelins in poitry—I 'n very apt to when ennything comes over me-so I riz and lited my candle, and composed these stanzys, which I hope wil be aggreible to you. 8. O reverend sir, I do declare, It drives me a'most to frenzy, To think of you a lyin' there 9 A body 'd a thought it was enough 10. But sickness and affliction are trials sent 11. Then mourn not for your pardner's deth, For sposen she hadent a died so soon, 12. O, I could to your bedside fly, 13. It's a world of trouble we tarry in- That you may soon be movin' agin, 14. Both sick and well, you may depend By your faithful and affectionate friend, PRISCILLA POOL BEDOTT. CXC.-THE LAVIN'-A POE-M. 1. LORDS and Ladies of creation, to a metrical oration,Funny epical narration, your attention I implore; Not a blood-and-thunder story, with a hero grim and gory, And a highferluten glory, heavy, dull,-in short, a bore; But an 66 ower-true tale" of "hair breadth 'scapes," and danger haply o'er: Past, I trust, for evermore. 2. As I sat one morning lonely in my school-room, thinking only Of the mighty glorious oyster-soup, I'd had the night before, Suddenly I heard a clatter, as of some one beating batter, And my thoughts began to scatter, as I started for the door, 3. "That's some mother, now; I wonder if she's come to give me thunder, For the flogging that I gave her hopeful dear the day before; 4. As my bodings thus concentered, open flew the door, and entered A two-fisted Amazonian, in her socks some six feet four; And the door-posts seemed to squeeze her, as with mien of king or kesar, Crossed my Rubicon this Cæsar, and came striding up the floor, With her green eyes glaring at me as she strode the creaking floor: Sight forgotten nevermore! 5. At her gaze my heart beat quicker, for I saw she was in liquor, By her wild gesticulations and the Billingsgate she swore: Thought I, "vixen,”—quite uncourtly-" though you are enormous portly, If you do not very shortly take yourself from out the door, Take your fat and burly carcass past the threshold of yon door, You will rue it evermore." 6. Then I told her in a flurry, she must be off in a hurry, And I pointed, as I told her, to the open standing door; Sternly then I frowned upon her, shook my fist like practiced foiner, When, upon my word of honor, down she sat upon the floor; With her arms braced out beside her, sat she down upon the floor! Rose there then a wild uproar. 7. Every pupil, in a titter, stretched his neck to see the critter, See a sight to them uncommon-woman sitting on the floor, Woman sitting still and swearing, while her eyes were wildly glaring, And in stentor tones declaring, if I got her out of door, 8. First I hushed the wild confusion, caused by this unique in trusion, And a single word sufficing perfect quiet to restore; For a moment I reflected: "She's a woman, loved, respected, By some heart with her's connected, that may grieve in sorrow sore, For this lorn and fallen being, whom my vengeance hovers o'er; Loved, though fallen, evermore. 9. "Can I rudely treat a woman? It will be an act inhuman; One which I, through all the future, shall with deep remorse de plore ; O'er the outrage will grow witty News Reporters of the city"Here she swore again, and pity fled my heart, grown soft before: Mauger sex and gallant promptings, thought I, she shall out of door, And return thence nevermore. 10. Then I thought, "My arch virago, with your craft, a la Iago, I will try a simple stratagem, I ne'er have tried before; 11. There's a maxim worth possession, and 't is this: a sound discretion Is the better part of valor, when there 's danger hovering o'er; 12. For a moment, gasping, choking, while the moisture in was soaking, Sat she still in wild amazement, fixed like statue to the floor: 0. J. WILSON. |