An' John will be a gaishen soon; His teeth are frae their sockets flown; The hair's peel'd aff his head aboon; May ilka lassie understand In time the duties of a wife; But youth wi' youth gae hand in hand, Ye men whase heads are turning grey, Ye lasses, lightsome, blithe, an' fair, Wi' doited age, for gear or land. When ilka lad your beauty slights, An' ilka blush is broke wi' wae, Ye'll mind the lang an' lanesome nights O' Nell, the lassie o' the Brae. DOCTOR MONROE. "DEAR Doctor, be clever, an' fling aff your beaver, Come, bleed me an' blister me, dinna be slow; I'm sick, I'm exhausted, my prospects are blasted, An' a' driven heels o'er head, Doctor Monroe !" "Be patient, dear fellow, you foster your fever; Pray, what's the misfortune that troubles you so?" “O, Doctor! I'm ruin'd, I'm ruin'd for ever— My lass has forsaken me, Doctor Monroe! "I meant to have married, an' tasted the pleasures, Or grant me some poison, dear Doctor Monroe!" The Doctor he flang aff his big-coat an' beaver, He took out his lance, an' he sharpen'd it so; No judge ever look'd more decided or graver"I've oft done the same, sir," says Doctor Monroe, "For gamblers, rogues, jockeys, and desperate lovers, But I always make charge of a hundred, or so." The patient look'd pale, and cried out in shrill quavers, "The devil! do you say so, sir, Doctor Monroe ?” "O yes, sir, I'm sorry there's nothing more common; I like it-it pays-but, ere that length I go, A man that goes mad for the love of a woman 66 I sometimes can cure with a lecture, or so." Why, thank you, sir; there spoke the man and the friend too; Death is the last reckoner with friend or with foe, The lecture then, first, if you please, I'll attend to; The other, of course, you know, Doctor Monroe." The lecture is said-How severe, keen, an' cutting, The patient got up-o'er the floor he went strutting, An' sings like a lark, an' loves Doctor Monroe! |