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chuck from his Native Lair (so to speak) with long sticks. Wall we sot thar on the fense, a swingin our feet two and fro, blushin as red as the Baldinsville skool house when it was fust painted, and lookin very simple, I make no doubt. My left arm was ockepied in ballunsin myself on the fense, while

my rite was woundid luvinly round her waste.


Chas & Brook


I cleared my throat and tremblinly sed, " Betsy, you're a Gazelle.”

I thought that air was putty fine. I waitid to see what effeck it would hav upon her. It evidently didn't fetch her, for she up and sed


“You're a sheep!”
Sez I, “Betsy, I think very muchly of you.”

“I don't b'leeve a word you say—so there now cum !” with which obsarvashun she hitched away from me.

“I wish thar was winders to my Sole,” said I, “so that. you could see some of my feelins. There's fire enuff in here,” said I, strikin my buzzum with my fist, "to bile all the corn beef and turnips in the naberhood. Versoovius and the Critter ain't a circumstans !”

She bowd her hed down and commenst chawin the strings to her sun bonnet.

Ar could you know the sleeplis nites I worry threw with on your account, how vittles has seized to be attractiv to me, & how my lims has shrunk up, you wouldn't dowt

Gase on this wastin form and these 'ere sunken cheeks

I should have continnered on in this strane probly for sum time, but unfortnitly I lost my ballunse and fell over into the pastur kersmash, tearin my close and seveerly damagin myself ginerally.

Betsy Jane sprung to my assistance in dubble quick time and dragged me 4th. Then drawin herself up to her full hite, she said:

“I won't listen to your noncents no longer. Jes say rite strate out what you're drivin at. If you mean gettin hitched, I'M IN!”

I considered that air enuff for all practical purpusses, and we proceeded immejitly to the parson's, and was made i that very

nite. (Notiss to the Printer. Put some stars here.)

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I've parst threw many tryin ordeels sins then, but Betsy Jane has bin troo as steel. By attendin strickly to bizniss I've amarsed a handsum Pittance. No man on this footstool can rise & git up & say I ever knowinly injered no man or wimmin folks, while all agree that my Show is ekalled by few and exceld by none, embracin as it does a wonderful colleckshun of livin wild Beests of Pray, snaix in grate profushun, a endliss variety of life-size wax-figgers, & the only traned kangaroo in Ameriky—the most amoozin little cuss ever introjuced to a discriminatin public.

Artemius Ward.

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For as 'tis meete to soake ye feete,

Ye ailinge heade to mende; Ye younker's pate to stimulate,

He beats ye other ende !


Righte lordlie is ye Pedagogue,

As any turbaned Turke;
For welle to rule ye District Schoole,

It is no idle worke.


For oft Rebellion lurketh there,

In breaste of secrete foes,
Of malice fulle, in waite to pulle

Ye Pedagogue his nose !


Sometimes he heares with trembling feares

Of ye ungodlie rogue
On mischiefe bent, with felle intent

To licke ye Pedagogue !


And if ye Pedagogue be smalle,

When to ye battell led, In such a plighte, God sende him mighte

To break ye rogue his heade !


Daye after daye, for little paye,

He teacheth what he can,
And bears ye yoke, to please ye folke,

And ye committee-man.


Ah! many crosses hath he borne,

And many trials founde,
Ye while he trudged ye district through,

And boarded rounde and rounde !


Ah! many a steake hath he devoured,

That, by ye taste and sighte, Was in disdaine, 'twas very plaine,

Of Daye his patent righte!


Fulle solemn is ye Pedagogue,

Amonge ye noisy churls,
Yet other while he hath a smile

To give ye handsome girls;


And one-ye fayrest mayde of all,

To cheere his wayninge life, Shall be, when Springe ye flowers shall bringe, Ye Pedagogue his wife!

John Godfrey Saxe,

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