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"DON'T ATTEMPT TO ROISE, SUR, TILL OI GET DOWN TO YE.''

Wishin' Chair. If ye sit down here, ye can have three wishes, sur."

"I won't sit down.”
“Have ye nothing to wish, sur?”

“No. · All I wanted was to meet the biggest liar in the world, but I don't need to wish for that now."

“Then ye've met him, sur. Well, Oi suppose ye like company, sur?”

' Anything else to be seen around here?

“Do ye see those basaltic columns on the face av the cliff, sur ? That's the Goiant's Organ, sur.”

“Who plays on it ?”

“Well, sur, the storms do. When the wind comes dhriving in from the Atlantic, and the waves lash up the Causeway, they do be sayin' that whin the timpast is at its hoight all the grand tones av an organ can be heard comin' from thim pipes.” “Good enough. That's worth the money.

I must be going now to catch my train. Good-bye.” “Here's a very dacent mon, sur, that sells picturs av the Causeway.”

“I don't care for any."
“They're very chape, sur."
“I want to forget the Causeway.”
“ Then good-bye, sur, an' thank ye, sur.”
“Good-bye.”

Here you

are.

The Guide (to the Picture-seller): “De ye see thot mon sprawlin' over the Causeway? Well, thot's the dombdest fule Oi iver tuk over these racks. Oi wouldn't take that mon over the Causeway agin fur all the money in the North av Oireland. De ye mind thot now?"

Robert Barr ("Luke Sharp ").

HANS BREITMANN'S BARTY.

HANS BREITMANN gife a barty :

Dey had bano-blayin',
I felled in lofe mit a 'Merican frau,

Her name vas Madilda Yane.
She hat haar as prown ash a pretzel,

Her eyes vas himmel-plue,
Und vhen dey looket indo mine,

Dey shplit mine heart in dwo.

Hans Breitmann gife a barty,

I vent dere you'll pe pound; I valtzet mit Madilda Yane,

Und vent shpinnen' round und round. De pootiest Fraulein in de house,

She vayed 'pout dwo hoondred pound, Und every dime she gife a shoomp

She make de vindows sound.

Hans Breitmann gife a barty,

I dells you it cost him dear;
Dey rolled in more ash sefen kecks

Of foost-rate lager beer.
Und vhenefer dey knocks de shpicket in

De Deutschers gifes a cheer; I dinks dat so vine a barty

Nefer coom to a het dis year.

Hans Breitmann gife a barty ;

Dere all vas Souse and Brouse, Vhen de sooper comed in, de

gompany Did make demselfs to house;

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Dey ate das Brot and Gensy broost,

De Bratwurst and Braten vine, Und vash der Abendessen down

Mit four parrels of Neckarwein.

Hans Breitmann gife a barty;

Ve all cot troonk ash bigs.
I poot mine mouť to a parrel of beer,

Und emptied it oop mit a schwigs ;
Und den I gissed Madilda Yane.

Und she shlog me on de kop,
Und de gompany vighted mit daple-lecks

Dill de coonshtable made oos shtop.

Hans Breitmann gife a barty

Vhere ish dot barty now? Vhere ish de lofely golden cloud

Dot float on de moundain's prow?
Vhere ish de himmelstrahlende stern-

De shtar of de shpirit's light?
All goned afay mit de lager beer-

Afay in de Ewigkeit.

Charles Godfrey Leland.

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