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AT THE GIANT'S CAUSEWAY.
“Yis, IS, sur. It's many a wan av yure countrymin Oi've
taken over the Causeway, sur.” “How do you know what countryman I am ?” “ Thrust me fur knowing the American accent, sur.”
“I haven't the American accent. You have it. Go to New York if you don't believe me.”
“There's many an Oirishman there, I'm tould, sur.” “ More than in Dublin."
“De ye tell me thot, sur ? Well, sur, Oi took Gineral Grant himsilf over the Causeway, and a foine mawn he was. An' Gineral Sheridan, too, sur. Many's the great mawn Oi've taken over the Causeway, sur.”
" Besides me?”
'Well, sur, ye may be the greatest av thim all, sur; fur, as Oi've often noticed, them that's laste like it is sometimes bether than they look, sur.”
“ True. So we won't pursue that subject any further.”
“Oi took the Duke av Connaught himsilf down this very road, sur, an' do you know what he says to me, sur ? He says, 'Pat,' says he,'have ye had anything to ate the day?' 'Saving yer presence, sur,' says Oi, 'except a bite at breakfast'-an' before the words were out of my mout, says the Duke to me, says he, ‘Sit down wid us,' says he; an’ no sooner said than done, and Oi had moy lunch with the Duke av Connaught. De ye moind thot, now?"
“That was a great honour—for the Duke.” “It was—what's that, sur It was a great honour fur
“Just depends on how a man looks at it.
If you think it was a great honour for
it was.” “ An’ Oi've taken great professors over the Causeway, sur
-min that knew more in wan minute, sur, than you and Oi wud know in all our loives, sur. An' they've tould me that this was the greatest soight in the whole wurrold.”
“Curious how education develops the power of lying."
“Loying is it, sur? Don't you know that there's nothing in the whole wurrold loike the Goiant's Causeway, sur ?” " What for ? For mud?” The road is a troifle muddy at this toime av the year,
It's not many comes to see it in the winther toime, sur; indade, yure the first wan this week. There's a power av rain in the nort av Oireland in the winter toime, sur.”
“How much further away is this Causeway?”
“ Is it the Causeway, sur ? But a troifle, sur. it the minute we turn that bit av rock, sur. Sure an' begorra it's well worth the walk, for there is no place that is as noted as the Causeway, sur.”
· Yes. They told me about it at Derry. That's why I came.”
“De ye mane to say, sur, that ye niver heard av the Goiant's Causeway till ye came to Derry? Well, sur, Oi've taken tins av thousands av people over this ground, sur, and yure the first wan that iver tould me he never heard av the Causeway. Where were ye brought up, sur?”
" I'm a Belfast man.”
“De ye mane thot ? Troth! Oi don't think the professors are the biggest loiers, saving yer prisince, sur.”
“Where's your old Causeway? We're round that rock
“Where's the Causeway is it, sur ? Where should it be but just before yer two eyes ? "
“You don't mean that foundation, do you ?” “What foundation, sur ?”
“Looks like as if a building society had started a big stone tabernacle, and went bankrupt when the foundation was laid.”
“The greatest min in this wurrold, sur, tould me that
“Never mind what the greatest men said. Is that the Causeway? That's what I want settled.”
“It is, sur.”
Back, is it, sur ? Troth, ye'r not there yet. Divil a fut will Oi go back till ye've seen what ye paid for, sur.”
“ All right, I'll go on—under protest—merely to please you, you
know.” “Oi'm afraid ye'r hard to plaze yersilf, sur. It's wan av the siven wondhers av the wurrold, sur.”
" That people come here? It is a wonder, as you say. I'll bet they don't come a second time.”
“Now, beggin' ye'r pardon, ye'r wrong there, sur. Not the sickond toime, but the twintieth toime have Oi known educated min to come, sur. And the aftener a man av sinse sees it, sur, the more wondherful he thinks it. Now, sur, ye’r fut is on the smaller Causeway, and be careful how you stip, fur it's moighty slippery undherfut. There are three Causeways, sur, the Great Causeway bein' in the centhre, and that we'll come to in a minute, sur.”
“ What is it used for?”
It's used for nothin' at all, sur.” “Then why did they go to all this expense ?” “What expinse, sur ? ” “The building of it."
“Be all the powers, sur, it's surely not running through your hid that the Goiant's Causeway was built by the hand av man, sur!”
“How was it built, then? By contract ?”
“Oi see plainly Oi'll hav to begin at the beginnin' wid you, sur.
It was built by a mighty convulsion av nathure,
Oh, yes, I remember reading about it in the papers at the time. It was the beginning of the Irish troubles.”
“It was at the beginning av toime, sur. Professor Gneiss, av Edinburgh, tould me its origin was volcanic, and that
“Oh, you can't believe what a professor says. Was he there?”
“He was not.” “Well, then !”
“If you, sur, will excuse the liberty Oi'll take, sur, in recommending you to kape silence fur a few minutes, sur, ye'll know a good dale more whin ye lave here than ye did whin ye came, sur.”
“ All right; go ahead.”
' It's a term used by Professor Gneiss. Now Oi'll call ye'r attention to the ind av this column. That we call octagon, meaning eight-sided, as ye can see. measure the eight sides, sur, yer'll foind them the same to a hair's breadth.”
“And yet you say nobody chiselled it ? ”
But no matter. Go on, go on.”
“Now, if ye'll notice, around this octagon are eight other pillars, forming an octagon group, as we call thim here, sur, all the columns being aqual in size. Now, sur, if ye follow me here, ye will see a septagon column, from the Latin word maning siven, and around that there are siven columns.”
“Is there any sixtogon one?”
• There, sur, Oi tould ye ye would slip down, sur. A man broke his leg there once. Are ye hurt, sur?"
And if yer call a
“ Not in the least.”
“ Thank the powers for that, sur ! Oi always notice that the quieter a man kapes, the more attention he can pay to his futin'."
“ And you're paid to do the talking, too. I hadn't thought about that."
Now, sur, ye see from here the Great Causeway. Isn't that a grand soight, sur ?”
Well, that depends on what you
“Oh! tare an’’owns, sur, ye’ve kilt yerself entoirely this toime. Don't attempt to roise, sur, till Oi get down to ye. Dear! dear!! Are ye badly hurt, sur ?"
Groggy, but still in the ring. Say, are my trousers-
“Why the Old Harry didn't you tell me this place was so slippery? Do you want to break a man's neck over this Causeway of yours?"
“Sure, sur, Oi warned ye the very first afgo. Beggin' your pardon, sur, if ye'd pay as much attintion to ye’r fut as you do to your tongue
“Who's been doing all the talking ? Have I opened my mouth since we started? Well, now that we're down here, what's there to see ?"
"Ye see these columns, sur. They're the tallest in the Causeway. Ye can see their formation now, sur. They're all in short lengths of three or four feet, and every joint is a perfect ball and socket wan.”
“What's the object of the ball and socket ?”
-That it was on account of the uneven cooling of the lava. Now, look at this, sur. This is—be careful, sur. Ye were nearly aff that toime again. This is the Goiant's