If possible, the table should be arranged in the shape of a T, and the guests

arranged according to the following diagram:

The company stand by their chairs, keeping their eyes fixed upon the Presi dent. As soon as he takes his seat, they seat themselves. Then the principal guest is escorted to his seat by a committee appointed for that purpose. As he enters the room, the President and all the company rise, and remain standing until the guest of the day has taken his seat, when they resume their chairs. The President then gives a signal, and the waiters serve the dinner.

When the last course has been served and partaken of, the cloth is removed, and the President proceeds to read the regular toasts, which have been prepared beforehand by one of the sub-committees. At dinners on the Fourth of July, or anniversaries connected with public matters, the number of regular toasts are thirteen, commemorative of the original number of States. It is not necessary to have so many on ordinary occasions. But there are certain toasts, given in certain order, which are never to be omitted. The first toast is to the day

celebrated, if it be a particular day. If not, what would be the second toast, "The President of the United States," becomes the first. This toast is always to be received with applause, even if the party dining be politically opposed to him, because the toast is to the office, and not the man. The next in order is to the Governor of the State; and the next is to the invited guest, if there be The last toast is always given to the opposite sex.

After the President has read the toasts, the Vice-President, at the other end of the table, who should be furnished with a copy, also reads aloud. The guests, as they are about to drink it, repeat it, or part of it, aloud.

If the guest be toasted, it being personal, every one rises and drinks standing, following their drinking by applause. If, however, the personal toast be to any who are dead, although all rise, they drink the toast and resume their seats in perfect silence.

The guest of the evening, having been toasted, is expected to reply, which he does, so soon as the party has seated itself, after it has drunk the toast. As he rises, the President does the same, mentions his name, and resumes his own seat, until the guest has closed.

The regular toasts being through, volunteer ones are in order.

If it be desired that any one should speak, the usual course is to propose a toast in his honor. After this has been done, it is expected that he will rise, return thanks, and make such proper remarks as will please the company. If, after the cloth has been removed, a song be desired from any one, his name is called out-Mr. (naming him) for a song. The President then repeats:

"Mr.

is called upon for a song." If the party is in voice at all, his best plan is to rise and sing at once; if not, he will rise, excuse himself, and offer a sentiment, or tell a story.

Towards the close of the entertainment, the President will leave his seat and call a Vice-President, or some other gentleman, to it; and the company will keep the fun going as long as they think proper.

When the principal guest leaves, the company will rise, and remain standing until he has left the room.

As the President is responsible for the good order and harmony of the occasion, the company are bound by the strictest obligation of honor to obey his directions and carry out his wishes in all things.

Sometimes one of the company wishes to drink with another. In that case, he sends a waiter to the person, who informs him that the other desires the pleasure of a glass of wine with him. The parties look to each other, and, raising their glasses to their lips, either take a sip, or drink it, as each thinks proper. Formerly, at these public dinners, men drank to excess. To do this now is considered ill-bred. Indeed, no guest need drink at all, unless he chooses. He should keep a glass of wine before him, and raise it to his lips at every toast; but. if he should not choose to drink, good manners requires that no one should note his abstinence.

WHAT TO SAY AND HOW TO ACT UPON ALL OCCASIONS; HOW TO DRESS WELL, AND HOW TO APPEAR

TO THE BEST ADVANTAGE IN SOCIETY.

INTRODUCTORY.

T is the natural desire of every person to appear to the best advantage in the eyes of one's fellow-creatures. We all wish to be admired, respected, and loved; and there is no person more miserable than the man who believes himself to be disliked or unappreciated by the people into whose society he is thrown.

In order to receive this appreciation and affection, one must be worthy of it. Mere wealth will not bring it; neither will political power or influence secure it. It is the personal qualities of the individual that win for him the friendship and admiration of his associates. A thoroughly good-hearted person, a man or woman of correct principles, will always shape his or her conduct so as to command respect; but it is not sufficient to always act justly or from right principles to fulfil one's duty in society. There are so many observances to be met, so many things to be considered and provided for, that, without an exact knowledge of what is due to one's self and one's associates, it is impossible to fulfil all the requirements of society.

This knowledge is obtained by the study of what is termed Etiquette, which word we may define as "a code of laws established by society for its protection against rudeness, and other offences which the civil law cannot reach." The

(384)

law cannot punish a man for discourteous behavior, but society can, and by refusing to receive or recognize him, can cause him to change his manners It is, therefore, necessary that we should know what is rude or disagreeable con duct, what things society forbids, and what it demands. This we can do only by studying the laws which govern it.

Some writers have held that politeness is merely an artificial quality, meaning nothing. But surely, when our own comfort and the happiness of others depend so much upon the exercise of this quality, we must class it among the attributes most to be cultivated and desired. Politeness enables us to avoid wounding the pride, or shocking the prejudices of those around us, and thus to render ourselves agreeable. It is but a new application of the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as ye would they should do unto you." Its principles are the same among all civilized nations, but its application is of course governed by the customs of each country. Thus a well-bred American will find himself as much at his ease in Paris or London as in New York, and can quickly learn the differences in mere social observances.

High birth and good-breeding are the privileges of the few; but the habits and manners of a gentleman or a lady may be acquired by all. Nor is their acquirement attended with difficulty. Etiquette is not an art requiring the study of a lifetime; on the contrary, its principles are simple, and their practical application involves only ordinary care, tact, and sagacity.

We all know a gentleman or lady when we meet one, no matter in what garb, or under what circumstances. We recognize them by a kind of instinct, since it is not easy to define in what the gentlemanly or ladylike quality consists. That which will not admit of definition will, however, often yield to analysis, and it is so in this case. To be a gentleman or lady implies the possession of certain qualities, and they are always the same qualities. It implies, first, a high degree of self-respect, only equalled by a keen sense of the respect and estimation in which others have a right to be held. It implies, further, a cultivated delicacy of taste and feeling, a just recognition of what is due to superiors and inferiors, and above all a generous and hearty appreciation of the claims of the opposite sex. To this may be added a certain amount of education-self-acquired or otherwise-and a perfect familiarity with the customs and usages of good society. It is this familiarity that enables one to do just the right thing at the right moment, and to maintain that perfect ease of manner which all admire and few possess. It enables one to avoid that haughty and reserved manner which many ill-bred people affect, mistakenly thinking it a mark of high position in life. Haughtiness and reserve, we repeat, are not characteristic of the gentleman or lady, but of the parvenu. The real gen tleman or lady can afford to forget their dignity and be genial and sociable; the imitation article cannot. Etiquette also saves one from indulging in undue familiarity, or in excess of courtesy, which are offensive. To be courteous and obliging under all circumstances is an imperative duty, and is natural to a weil

bred person; but to overburden people with attention, to render them uncomfortable by an excessive proffer of services, to insist upon placing them under obligations which they do not desire to accept, is not only to render one's self disagreeable, but contemptible.

It will thus be seen that the Laws of Etiquette are founded on common-sense, and that there is a real necessity that every person should be familiar with them. In the following pages it is our aim to state these laws plainly and comprehensively. The writer lays down no arbitrary rules of his own; he gives simply the principles and observances that govern good society in all lands, adapting them to the special needs of all readers.

THE TOILET.

THE CARE OF THE PERSON.

THE first care of all persons in society should be for their personal appearance. Those who are slovenly or careless in their habits are unfit for refined society, and cannot possibly make a good appearance in it. A well-bred person will always cultivate habits of the most scrupulous neatness. A gentleman or lady is always well dressed. The garment may be plain or coarse, or even worn "thin and shiny," but it is carefully brushed, neat, and worn with dignity.

The proverb which warns us against judging by appearances can never have had much weight in cities or populous communities. There appearance is inevitably the index of character. First impressions must in nine cases out of ten be formed from it, and that is a consideration of such importance that no gentleman or lady can afford to disregard it.

Personal appearance depends greatly on the careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress.

The first point which marks the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness. This remark applies to the body and everything which covers it. A clean skin-only to be secured by frequent baths-is indispensable. Many hold that perfect cleanliness is impossible without the aid of the Turkish bath; but though the effect of that institution is undoubtedly admirable, there are constitutions with which it does not agree. This cannot be said of ordinary baths, and they should be repeatedly used. And we need not say that the face and hands should be spotless. There is no surer indication of a gentleman or lady than a pure white hand-white in the sense of being clean-and perfectly kept nails.