if all his address, his motions, and his airs, would not then be very natural, and in their proper element.

I shall not descend so minutely as to insist upon the vast number of beaux, fiddlers, poets, and politicians, that the world might recover by such a reformation. But what is more material, besides the clear gain redounding to the commonwealth, by so large an acquisition of persons to employ, whose talents and acquirements, if I may be so bold to affirm it, are now buried, or at least misapplied, it would be a mighty advantage accruing to the public from this inquiry, that all these would very much excel and arrive at great perfection in their several kinds; which I think is manifest from what I have already shown, and shall enforce by this one plain instance, that even I myself, the author of these momentous truths, am a person whose imaginations are hardmouthed, and exceedingly disposed to run away with his reason, which I have observed, from long experience, to be a very light rider, and easily shaken off : upon which account my friends will never trust me alone, without a solemn promise to vent my speculations in this or the like manner for the universal benefit of human kind, which perhaps the gentle, courteous, and candid reader, brimful of that modern charity and tenderness usually annexed to his office, will be very hardly persuaded to believe.

SECTION X.

A FURTHER DIGRESSION.*

IT is an unanswerable argument of a very refined age, the wonderful civilities that have passed of late years between the nation of authors and that of readers. There can hardly pop out a play, a pamphlet, or a poem, without a preface full of acknowledgment to the world for the general reception and applause they have given it, which the Lord knows where, or when, or how, or from whom it received. In due deference to so laudable a custom, I do here return my humble thanks to his Majesty, and both Houses of Parliament; to the Lords of the King's Most Honourable Privy Council; to the reverend the judges; to the clergy and gentry and

* This section has in former editions been entitled A Tale of a Tub; but the tale not being continued till Section XI., and this being only a further digression, no apology can be thought necessary for making the title correspond with the contents.-Hawkes,

+ This is literally true, as we may observe in the prefaces to most plays, poems, &c.

yeomanry of this land: but in a more especial manner to my worthy brethren and friends at Wills' coffee-house, and Gresham College, and Warwick Lane, and Moorfields, and Scotland Yard, and Westminster Hall, and Guildhall: in short, to all inhabitants and retainers whatsoever, either in court, or church, or camp, or city, or country, for their generous and universal acceptance of this divine treatise. I accept their approbation and good opinion with extreme gratitude, and to the utmost of my poor capacity, shall take hold of all opportunities to return the obligation.

I am also happy that fate has flung me into so blessed an age for the mutual felicity of booksellers and authors, whom I may safely affirm to be at this day the only two satisfied parties in England. Ask an author how his last piece has succeeded? Why, truly, he thanks his stars the world has been very favourable, and he has not the least reason to complain. And yet he swears he writ it in a week, at fits and starts, when he would steal an hour from his urgent affairs; as it is a hundred to one you may see farther in the preface, to which he refers you, and for the rest to the booksellers. There you go as a customer, and make the same question: he blesses his God the thing takes wonderfully; he is just printing the second edition, and has but three left in his shop. You beat down the price; " Sir, we shall not differ:" and in hopes of your custom another time

lets you have it as reasonable as you please: "And pray send as many of your acquaintance as you will; I shall, upon your account, furnish them all at the same rate."

Now, it is not well enough considered to what accident and occasions the world is indebted for the greatest part of those noble writings which hourly. start up to entertain it. If it were not for a rainy day, a drunken vigil, a fit of the spleen, a course of physic, a sleepy Sunday, an ill run at dice, a long tailor's bill, a beggar's purse, a factious head, a hot sun, costive diet, want of books, and a just contempt of learning-but for these events, I say, and some others too long to recite (especially a prudent neglect of taking brimstone inwardly), I doubt not the number of authors and of writings would dwindle away to a degree most woful to behold. To confirm this opinion, hear the words of the famous Troglodyte philosopher. "It is certain," said he, "some grains of folly are of course annexed as part of the composition of human nature; only, the choice is left us whether we please to wear them inlaid or embossed: and we need not go very far to seek how that is usually determined, when we remember it is with human faculties as with liqours, the lightest will be ever at the top."

There is in this famous island of Britain a certain paltry scribbler, very voluminous, whose character the reader cannot wholly be a stranger to. He

deals in a pernicious kind of writings called second parts, and usually passes under the name of the author of the first. I easily foresee that, as soon as I lay down my pen, this nimble operator will have stolen it, and treat me as inhumanly as he hath already done Dr. Blackmore, L'Estrange, and many others who shall be here nameless. I therefore fly for justice and relief into the hands of that great rectifier of saddles* and lover of mankind, Dr. Bentley, begging he will take this enormous grievance into his most modern consideration; and if it should so happen that the furniture of an ass, in the shape of a second part, must for my sins be clapped by a mistake upon my back, that he will immediately please, in the presence of the world, to lighten me of the burden, and take it home to his own house till the true beast thinks fit to call for it.

In the meantime, I do here give this public notice, that my resolutions are to circumscribe within this discourse the whole stock of matter I have been so many years providing. Since my vein is once opened, I am content to exhaust it all at a running, for the peculiar advantage of my dear country, and for the universal benefit of mankind. Therefore, hospitably considering the number of my guests, they shall have my whole entertainment at a meal, and I scorn to set up the leavings in the cupboard. What

*Alluding to the trite phrase, "Place the saddle on the right horse." -Hawkes.