But to return: I am assured, from the reader's candour, that the brief specimen I have given will easily clear all the rest of our society's productions from an aspersion grown, as it is manifest, out of envy and ignorance, that they are of little further. use or value to mankind beyond the common entertainments of their wit and their style (for these, I am sure, have never yet been disputed by our keenest adversaries), in both which, as well as the more profound and mystical part, I have throughout this treatise closely followed the most applauded originals. And to render all complete, I have, with much thought and application of mind, so ordered, that the chief title prefixed to it—I mean, that under which I design it shall pass in the common conversations of court and town, is modelled exactly after the manner peculiar to our society.

*

I confess to have been somewhat liberal in the business of titles, having observed the humour of multiplying them to bear great vogue among certain writers, whom I exceedingly reverence. And indeed it seems not unreasonable that books, the children of the brain, should have the honour to be christened with variety of names, as well as other infants of quality. Our famous Dryden has ventured to proceed a point further, endeavouring to introduce also

The title page in the original was so torn, that it was not possible to recover several titles which the author here speaks

of.

a multiplicity of godfathers,* which is an improvement of much more advantage, upon a very obvious account. It is a pity this admirable invention has not been better cultivated, so as to grow by this time. into general imitation, when such an authority serves it for a precedent: nor have my endeavours been wanting to second so useful an example. But it seems there is an unhappy expense usually annexed to the calling of a godfather, which was clearly out of my head, as it is very reasonable to believe. Where the pinch lay I cannot certainly affirm; but having employed a world of thoughts and pains to split my treatise into forty sections, and having entreated forty lords of my acquaintance that they would do me the honour to stand, they all made it a matter of conscience, and sent me their excuses.

See Virgil translated, &c. He dedicated the different parts of Virgil to different patrons.

SECTION II.

A TALE OF A TUB.

*

ONCE upon a time there was a man who had three sons by one wife, and all at a birth, neither could the midwife tell certainly which was the eldest. Their father died while they were young, and upon his death-bed, calling the lads to him, spoke thus :—

"Sons, because I have purchased no estate, nor was born to any, I have long considered of some good legacies to bequeath you; and at last, with much care as well as expense, have provided each of you (here they are) a new coat.† Now, you are to

By these three sons, Peter, Martin, and Jack, Popery, the Church of England, and our Protestant Dissenters are designed.-W. Wotton. In the character of Peter we see the pope, seated on his pontifical throne, and adorned with his triple crown: in the picture of Martin we view Luther and the first Reformers and in the description of Jack we behold John Calvin and his disciples. The author's arrows are chiefly directed against Peter and Jack. To Martin he shows all the indulgence that the laws of allegory will permit.—Orrery.

By his coats, which he gave his sons, the garment of the Israelites. -W. Wotton.

An error (with submission) of the learned commentator; for by the

understand that these coats have two virtues contained in them. One is, that with good wearing they will last you fresh and sound as long as you live. The other is, that they will grow in the same proportion with your bodies, lengthening and widening of themselves, so as to always fit. Here, let me see them on you before I die. So, very well; pray, children, wear them clean, and brush them often. You will find in my will* (here it is) full instructions in every particular concerning the wearing and management of your coats, wherein you must be very exact, to avoid the penalties I have appointed for every transgression or neglect, upon which your future fortunes will entirely depend. I have also commanded in my will that you should live together in one house like brethren and friends; for then you will be sure to thrive, and not otherwise."

Here, the story says, the good father died, and the three sons went altogether to seek their fortunes.

I shall not trouble you with recounting what adventures they met with for the first seven years, any further than by taking notice that they carefully observed their father's will, and kept their coats in very good order; that they travelled through several

coats are meant the doctrine and faith of Christianity, by the wisdom of the divine Founder fitted to all times, places, and circumstances.Lambin.

The New Testament.

countries, encountered a reasonable quantity of giants, and slew certain dragons.

Being now arrived at the proper age for producing themselves, they came up to town, and fell in love with the ladies, but especially three who about that time were in chief reputation-the Duchess d'Argent, Madame de Grands Titres, and the Countess d'Orgueil.* On their first appearance our three adventurers met with a very bad reception; and soon with great sagacity guessing out the reason, they quickly began to improve in the good qualities of the town. They wrote, and rallied, and rhymed, and sung, and said and said nothing; they drank, and fought, and slept, and swore, and took snuff: they went to new plays on the first night, haunted the chocolate houses, beat the watch, lay on bulks, and even did worse; they bilked hackney-coachmen, ran in debt with shopkeepers and lay with their wives; they killed bailiffs, kicked fiddlers down stairs, ate at Locket's, loitered at Wills's; they talked of the drawing-room, and never came there; dined with lords they never saw; whispered a duchess, and spoke never a word; exposed the scrawls of their laundress for billetdoux of quality, came ever just from court, and were never seen in it; attended the

Their mistresses are the Duchess d'Argent, Mademoiselle de Grands Titres, and the Countess d'Orgueil, i.e., covetousness, ambition, and pride, which were the three great vices that the ancient fathers inveighed against as the first corruptions of Christianity.-W. Wotton.