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and have been met travelling in the At- rouse his attention. He replied in very lantic, where one of them nearly sup.: intelligible English, and with all the an American sloop loaded with a sea- dryness of an English traveller, that he SERPENT's head, which an unphilosoph- saw nothing equal to his home; adding ical exciseman mistook for a pipe of that their galleries and collonades, dug Madeira. When the boats came in under inountains of ice, were far more quest of official letters for H. M. S. the brilliantly illuminated. Then looking Majestic, the Arctic Islander, believing gravely at Dr.Blinkensop,who occupied his colony ab origine from England, the third place in my carriage, he enexpressed an invincible desire to visit quired why he was not walking about? the oative country of his ancestors; and Being asked what his question implied, after some consideration among the lit- he informed us, that in his island all the erary gentlemen attached to the expedi- learned men were employed to traverse tion, each of whom claimed a share in the streets at night with lanterns on their the profits resulting from him, he was beads, or to stand at equal distances, put on board one of the boats under the for the useful purpose of enlightening custody of Dr. Cacofog, * who availed their countrymen and saving oil. Dr. himself of this pretext to return bome. Blinkeosop concealed his mortification Being uodeniably the prize and proper- by discussing the Catoptrical mode of ty of my friend, and entitled, as a de- gathering, folding, breaking, and bunscendant of Englishmen, to an exemp-dling, sun and moon beams, to answer tion from sale, he was wrapped in a the purposes of a kitchen-fire ; suggestlarge boat-cloak, and entered at the ing that this kind of solar cookery Custom-house, when he landed here, as would be very convenient to the Arctic a sick seaman from the Isabella. Lest navigators, if their fuel should be erthe managers of the Museum, or the hausted. great theatres, should hear of such an Upon our arrival at my chambers our acquisition, I went myself in my own Islander, who calls himself Neopous, post-chariot to convey him to my house, was more particularly introduced to me where, according to my friend's letter, as his future host and cicerone; aod he permitted him to reside. Fortunate- expressed his courteous disposition by ly, his appearance did not excite my three low bows, and some obliging servants' curiosity, as his attire was En- words, which, as his colony seems to glish. His person is far under the usual have been founded by Englishmen of height, rather round, and too much ele- the last century, were probably derived vated about the shoulders ;-but this from their customs. But he soon apdefect was easily concealed by attacbing peared most agreeably easy and famionly half-a-dozen capes to the loose liar; and during supper, al which he pelerine of his coat;-he is extremely ate with a voracity which astonished short-sighted, as is usual with the na- my butler, though he once waited at tbe tives of the frigid zone, and has the Lord Mayor's feast, he addressed me breadth of nose and chin which Busfon with all the nonchalance of a Bencber and Cuvier consider peculiar to them ; who had eaten twenty terms with me, therefore our fashionable lorgnette and and begged me, to tell him whether cravat were really requisite to diminish hanging was an agreeable sensation ? these disadvantages. The bluish tint Now, though I understand the sensaof bis hair is not remarkable during the tion created by a fall of stocks, by present fashion. The lethargic apathy “crossing Oxford-street," and by being of men born in cold countries is so well caught in the act of speakiog to an illknown, that I was not surprised at his dressed friend, I could not prosess any doze during the greater part of our acquaintance with tbe sensation of badge journey ; but when we crossed West- ing, though it is one peculiarly studied minster-bridge, and came withio view in the present age. “ But, Sir," I said, of those long lines and transverse vistas“ as the words of our language have of light which the lamps of our streets undergone great and various misappliafford, I could not avoid an attempt to cations, even in this country, the awkAlias Blinkensop.
ward word which significs a very vul
gar situation, may be used in your's to in doing exactly as they do, and in gensignify some polite amusement; as eral whatever is convenient.” quizzing, hoaxing, and other elegant I assured my visitor, that the customs syaonimes, have been borrowed from of bis island were entirely different the dialect of thieves to enrich a gentle- from our's ; that nobody presumed to man's.”—“Sir," replied Neonous, “ I give the soft names of “polite failings understand you are a barrister ; and in youthful vivacities and trifling mismy nation we hang an attorney three takes," to those actions which our minutes, a conveyancer five, and a bar- avowed religion called crimes--that rister a quarter of an hour, that they marriage is our nation was a venerable may fully estimate the sensation which and unspotted institution, designed to a court of justice is apt to cause."_"O give certain distinctions and privileges my good friend !" interposed Dr. Blink- to virtuous mothers and their offspring, ensop, sparing me the difficulty of com- which could not be transferred by the menting on a point so nice, “ such a help of a little gold to the basest courregulation would be an infallible sug- tezans." Our women," said I, “ have pension of all talent at the bar. It is a motive to be faithful and pure, because quite time enough when men deserve they know their purity will be rememit.” The Islander replied, with scholas- bered as the most honourable part of tic dignity,“ Ab! there is the error of their descendants' inheritance, and they your English legislature. Prevention, see by daily example, that children candoctor, prevention is the purpose of not be enabled by the sudden caprice or our laws. We hang them first, that untimely penitence of their fathers to they may not come to it at last: besides, rejoice in the iniquity of their mothers, when people have a propensity to ob- or to blame it only when it is not suclique courses, it is wise to make them cessful. Vice is so rare,that nearly twenperpendicularly upright as soon as pos- ty thousand papers circulate daily, whose sible.”
chief attractions are the uncommon anMy guest arrived late on Saturday ecdotes of guilt wbich their publishers night, therefore I had no better amuse- are obliged to invent, because they can ment to afford him the next morning, hardly ever find sufficient true ones.” than to take bim to a fashionable church. A newspaper in my barouche served When we cime out, he looked round to exemplify this truth, and to amuse inquisitively, and wbispered in my ear, Neonous during our drive through the “ This is your great Sunday, I suppose; Park,wbich did not interest him greatly, but where is your little every-day though he saw several persons whom church ?"-Having understood from he mistook for bis countrymen, being my friend on board the Isabella, that deceived, perhaps, by their lethargic the Arctic Islanders of his colony pos- air and furred costume. Dr. Blinkensessed a Greek bible which they seemed sop enquired if the people of his island to worship, I could not comprehend bis occupied themselves much in politics, question, till he added, “ We have at and was answered, “ Certainly !-but Neonousland, as you have here, a great what we call politics is a great toy, forty government church, where they talk of times larger than your Kaleidoscope, patience, self-denial, sobriety, and a and turned by every body which way great many other fine things, but we they like best.” Dr. B. carefully rehave little ones also, where they teach corded this answer in his note-book, , what we really do, and therefore ought for the information of the literary societo learn every day in the best manner. ties throughout Europe, and as an unYou know we make promises and vows answerable proof that Dr. Brewster did to be rigidly just, faithful to our wives, not invent the first kaleidoscope, whatand kind to our neighbours—That is ever may be the testimony of his cotemall very well on great Sunday; but on poraries. I questioned Neonous on little Suoday we Arctic Islanders learn the poetry of the Arctic Isles, having the only practical part of our religion ; received a splendid offer from a fasbthat is--kindness to our neighbours, ionable publisher of twenty-pence per which consists, as you probably know, line for the first traoslation of a polar
poem-but he did not appear to com- Some traitors are trying to begin a prebend me. When Dr. Bliokensop
Tunnel from here to Saint Helenaendeavoured to define poetry as a com- A project worthy the geniuses of anbination of beautiful ideas raised above cient Greece. I have no doubt that common life, he only answered, “ Then future generations, when the revolutions I know what poetry is, but we call it of Nature have dried up the Atlantic, morality in our country.”
will discover traces of this work, wbich Having said this, he fell asleep ; and might be incredible if we had not seen my learned friend, raising bis forefinger the aqueducts of Rome and Attica. with a sign of caution and sagacity, But here is a line full of dubitation, and drew from his folio memorandum-book by the hiatus in the manuscript it apa faded paper, which, as he whispered, pears to have been added by some Arcbad been found in the cabin allotted to tic poet. It is bighly natural that such Neonous on board the Majestic,and was a poet should derive his images from probably a relic of the Greek literature local objects; therefore I propose to conveved to Neopousland by its first in- translate it thus habitants. It was in the ancient Alex- Vast as the kraken of Mezuat.andrine character, as cut by Wynkyo “I admit the probability of your tunde Worde in imitation of that valuable nel," said I, “ and have no doubt that manuscript presented by Cyrillus Lu- it extended to the North-pole. Percaris, patriarch of Alexandria, to King haps that would have been the easiest Charles I. in 1628. I have transcribed way of conveying our Arctic discoverthe first lines with all the accuracy in ers, and no violation of the maritime my power, and must confesss that two law, which extends only to the surface of the characters strongly resemble an of things. However, you must allow &c. though they are said to be the true me to say, I perceive no kraken in this Alexandrine alpba and sigma.
line, nor did I ever see a name like OH .MINIITEPÖPAT &c. Mezuat in any chart of those latitudes.
I read it thusir ve evdü X&YVOTON : ....
“ Vast as the crack of Meux's vat." Σόμετραι τορςαρετρό γτώ βηγινα
-“ That is not probable," rejoined Tuws Peone To Eaitianuar ''. Blinkensop " and yet it is possible Yάστ μας θηκρα καςορ’ Mευξ ευατ
that statesmen may have met last centuAvd porc In naruunapestapato
ry, as they do now, to hold their con. “Nobody," said Dr. Blinkensop, put- sultations over a wine-vat, for I do not ting on his spectacles, “ can doubt the conceive that it could have been filled antiquity and Homeric origin of these with beer. And as Smithfield was lines-Observe the fine epic opening of once a vineyard, it is credible that our the chief personage's harangue, without celebrated distiller of malt may have preamble or peroration
had an ancestor who brewed wine. “Says he,
Pray proceed, Sir—what concludes the "I see a hand you cannot see !
strophe ?" which also shews us the plagiarism com “And from the chasm came out-a-rat mitted by Tickell in the most admired “ A rat!” exclaimed the Professor : verse of his exquisite ballad.”_" Un. “ What titillates your risible muscles, der due submission to your superior my good friend? Why not a rat? knowledge,” said I, “ I should be apt Did not a mountain once bring forth a to think this a copy of the Romaic frag- mouse ? Have not rats been worshipment communicated by M. Chateau- ped in the hither peninsula of India briand to Lord C.'s secretary, and said and the Isthmus between Asia and to be remarkably predictive of an event Africa ? And in modern times, as the Wich happened lately on the banks of illustrious pupil of the erudite Sheridan the Thames.”_" The Thames !” ech- has recorded, did not a rat, ved my antiquary_" when did its
" for want of stairs, banks ever produce such sublime pro come down a rope to say his prayers ?" jectors as the next lines describe Where is the miracle, then, if one should
Arctic Islander in London.
coine up to seek a place ? for indepen- parties. I was engaged to Lady debt of bis respectable black coat and Townly's “ at Home" on Monday, and reverend beard, he has all due requisites intended him to accompany me in strict for one. Did not three rats empty a incognito, relying on the pblegm and jar of oil by alternately dipping in their apathy of his disposition to ensure a whiskers and regaling each other proper degree of insonciance, or easy whence, no doubt, Pope, alias Swift, negligence in his behaviour. And to derived that fine distich,
prepare him for the dazzling effect of “ This jelly's good-that malmsey's healing our beauties seated in all the glory of Pray dip your whiskers and ......." white satin, blond, and pink roses, I The professor was interrupted by three would have conducted him to the ExhiBow-street officers, who perceived red bition, had not its season been past ; spots on his coat, and notwithstanding but a fashionable portrait-painter's galhis asseverations that they proceeded lery was open, and it seemed the best from pitrous acid which he had used in representation of that circle of living extracting gas, he was conveyed away paintings called a party. Contrary to under suspicion of having aided a recent my expectance, he threw himself into assassination. This fracas caused tu- such an attitude as I have seen in my mult enough to awaken Neonous : and grand-aunt's picture of Celadon, and his surprise was so loudiy expressed, exclaimed, with great vehemence, “Kuthat his arrival from the Arctic regions ryeleeson ! kuryeleesonmow !"-Being began to be whispered, and the utmost requested to explain the meaning of skill of our charioteer could not pre- these words, he answered very frankly, serve our residence from detection. In that he used them without knowing it, the evening of this Sunday I was but believed they were the names of alarmed by a visit from the principal of saints once worshipped by the ancestors a polite establishment, requesting an of his colony. I informed him, that introduction to my Arctic Islander, and his ignorance what they meant renderoffering him an engagement to instruct ed them proper enough for a polite exher pupils in the language and dances pletive; but as they really implied an of his nation, at five guineas each lesson. appeal for mercy, they were not so She urged so strenuously the impor- spirited as the delightful readiness for tance be would derive from making his perdition expressed by an Englishman's entre at her house, and in her society interjections. Neonous thanked me (for school is an obsolete word), that for the hint, and promised in future to I was coinpelled to assure her he visited employ as his conversation-oath a very England as a gentleman whose liberty powerful and sonorous word preserved and independence were guaranteed by by his country's traditions, as one of my honour and his own wealth. The those relics which I suppose to be of ! last words were convincing ; and hay- Greek literature. ing intimated her readiness to educate “ Shouldero’muttonacaponhalfagooseany of his female relatives, she departed pastyvenison.” to spread the intelligence among her A magnificent compound, which every numerous friends. Neonous heard of college-student will be able to analyse her proposal without any change in the and digest. On our way to Lady usual grave decorum of his face. “We Townly's conversazione, I entreated have no such useless institutions in our bim to suppress any sensations of surcountry,” said he, “ to teach our chil- prise and admiration which her assemdren grimaces and gambols ; for our bly might create "not, my dear Neosquirrel-apes are neither so mischievous nous, because any symptoms of patural nor so expensive : and as for morals, feeling would lessen your effect, for they we always forbid them to do right, would have the charm of novelty, and knowing they will do it through the the justification of your recent arrival spirit of con trai ction."
among us; but as it has been whisperThe precoeptress was diligent in wbis- ed that you possess the art of making pering her news, and several cards of diamonds by adding a proper proporinvitation arrived to fashionable evening tion of carbonic gas to charcoal, such
symptoms might expose you to ma- to have no other way of shewing tlu næuvres.”This last word required a they know any thing of value." - TIS very long explanation, which he heard such an expedient might be very used with surprising coolness.--" Then,” to young women of fashion, whose said he, after a grave pause, “ you per- complishments are invisible and onmit two kinds of marriages, as we do. guessed, I was compelled to acquaint We keep the great one for rare occa- Neonous that his device might render a sions, and celebrate it as you bave heard duel unavoidable.--" Whatever pas. by the ordeal of fire and water ; but time is usual here will be agreeable to the common kind is managed by ma- me !" replied my Arctic Islander, with nouvres.”_"Is it possible that they a yawn, which was fortunately mistakes exist even in your frozen region ?"- for a bass-accompaniment to the gice “ Where can they exist so properly ? Lady Townly had begun : “ Only tell We see them every day amoog the Es- me whether English duels are eaten in quimaux savages. Each lover throws one, two, or three doses ?”—I could a hundred burnt sticks at his beloved, only answer this question by asking and she who can catch the most is the another, and was informed that affairs richest bride; which is what you call of honour are decided in the polar remanæuvring, I suppose, in London."- gions by swallowing snow-balls, or by It was not necessary to explain that our keeping the parties in ice two or three system wanted the addition of sticks, days.- When I expressed my surprise which might be very appropriate among that they had none of the manly and its contrivers; and after a few more elegant exercises called sparring, prize. cautions, we entered the rout--rather fighting, &c. he replied, “ We mate too early, perhaps, as it was scarcely our physicians and surgeons fight somemidnight. Consequently the whole times, Sir, to prove their skill. The fitbrilliance of the scene was not collected, test persons to give and take wounds er and Neonous walked among the groupes bruises are those who know how to of gazing belles with such placid indif. cure them. But I have carried many ference and easy languor, that one or accounts of duels to the Moon's moratwo strangers mistook him for Sir Per- ing-post oflice." tioax Townly himself, whose desire to These words fixed the attention of see an Arctic Islander induced him to Lady Towniy, who understands every appear once in his wife's company, science, as Dr. Donne once said of an When music began, I took the oppor- ancient Englishwoman, “ from predestunity, as usual, of talking to my friends, tination to skein silk.” She listened and had answered a thousand ques- with rapturous astonishment to ber Aro tions before I perceived the subject of tic visitor's assurance that the lightness them walking with an air of great at- of their atmosphere rendered an ascent tention behind some lovely young wo- to the moon practicable, and that a lomen. Shocked at his danger, and at nariad mail was actually established in the ridicule such a proof of savage sim- Neonousland.* He added, that a cs. plicity provoked, I went to observe his linder filled with oxygen would derire movements, and found he was employ- impetus enough from an air-gun of proed, not in wonder and admiration, but portionable calibre, to transport is very in placing behind each of the enormous far on the journey; and a pair of articombs which supported the rear of their ficial wings, on the plan of those attachhead-dresses, one of the gilt cards given ed to Blanchard's balloon, might effect by the polite preceptress whose visit I the rest. The scientific belle was in have mentioned, containing a long list ecstacies. She had lounged so often on of the sciences she taught.--" You told the Steyne, and wearied herself so comme these had been her pupils,” said pletely with gazing on pale faces in a Neonous very drily, in reply to my re- pump-room,that a trip to the Moon promonstrance “ why should they not mised a thousand novelies in addition carry with them advertisements of the
Still greater was her delight when he recited a paid for them ? especially as they seem 'The Arctic Hvor "" [See Poetry, P. 107.)"
specimen of lunar poetry, which I have enden suured to arrange in English verse, under the title of