IMPROVING BY CONVERSATION.

If we would improve our minds by conversation, it is a great happiness to be acquainted with persons older than ourselves.

It is a piece of useful advice, therefore, to get the favor of their conversation frequently, as far as circumstances will allow.

LEARN SOMETHING FROM ALL.

In mixed company, among acquaintance and strangers, endeavor to learn something from all.

Be swift to hear, but be cautious of your tongue, lest you betray your ignorance, and perhaps offend some of those who are present too.

Acquaint yourself therefore sometimes with persons and parties which are far distant from your common life and customs. This is the way whereby you may form a wiser opinion of men and things. Be not frightened or provoked at opinions differing from your own.

BE NOT TOO CONFIDENT.

Some persons are so confident they are in the right that they will not come within the hearing of any opinion but their own. They canton out to themselves a little province in the intellectual world, where they fancy the light shines, and all the rest is in darkness.

Believing that it is impossible to learn something

from persons they consider much below themselves.

NARROW AND LIMITED VIEWS

We are all short-sighted creatures; our views are also, narrow and limited; we often see but one side of a matter, and do not extend our sight far and wide enough to reach eyerything that has a connection with the thing we talk of. We see but in part; therefore it is no wonder we form incorrect conclusions, because we don't survey the whole of any subject.

CONSULTING WITH OTHERS.

We have a different prospect of the same thing, according to the different positions of our understandings toward it: a weaker man may sometimes light on truths which have escaped a stronger, and which the wiser man might inake a happy use of, if he would condescend to take notice of them.

DIFFERENCE OF OPINION.

When you are forced to differ from him who delivers his opinion on any subject, yet agree as far as you can, and represent how far you agree; and, if there be any room for it, explain the words of the speaker in such a sense to which you can in general assent, and so agree with him, or at least by a small addition or alteration of his sentiments show your own sense of things.

It is the practice and delight of a candid hearer to make it appear how unwilling he is to differ from him that speaks.

Let the speaker know that it is nothing but truth constrains you to oppose him; and let that difference be always expressed in few, and civil, and chosen words, such as may give the least offence.

And be careful always to take Solomon's rule with you, and let your companion fairly finish his speech before you reply; "for he that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him." A little watchfulness, care, and practice, in younger life, will render all these things more easy, familiar, and natural to you, and will grow into habit.

L

CHAPTER VI.

CONVERSATION.

ET your conversation be adapted as skillfully as may be to your company. Some men make a point of talking commonplaces to all ladies alike, as if a woman could only be a trifler. Others, on the contrary, seem to forget in what respects the education of a lady differs from that of a gentleman, and commit the opposite error of conversing on topics with which ladies are seldom acquainted. A woman of sense has as much right to be annoyed by the one, as a lady of ordinary education by the other. You cannot pay a finer compliment to a woman of refinement and esprit than by leading the conversation into such a channel as may mark your appreciation of her superior attainments.

SUBJECTS TO BE AVOIDED.

In talking with ladies of ordinary education, avoid political, scientific, or commercial topics, and choose only such subjects as are likely to be of interest to them.

TALK TO PEOPLE OF THEIR OWN AFFAIRS.

Remember that people take more interest in their own affairs than in anything else which you can name. If you wish your conversation to be thoroughly agreeable, lead a mother to talk of her children, a young lady of her last ball, an author of his forthcoming book, or an artist of his exhibition picture. Having furnished the topic, you need only listen; and you are sure to be thought not only agreeable, but thoroughly sensible and well-informed.

AVOID TALKING TOO MUCH OF THEIR PROFESSIONS.

Be careful, however, on the other hand, not always to make a point of talking to persons upon general matters relating to their professions. To show an interest in their immediate concerns is flattering; but to converse with them too much about their own arts looks as if you thought them ignorant of other topics.

AVOID CLASSICAL QUOTATIONS.

Do not use a classical quotation in the presence of ladies without apologizing for, or translating it. Even this should only be done when no other phrase would so aptly express your meaning. Whether in the presence of ladies or gentlemen, much display of learning is pedantic and out of piace.