IN

CHAPTER V.

SOCIAL INTERCOURSE.

N the following chapters we will dwell more particularly upon the external usages and customs of polite life,—a knowledge and practice of which are necessary to enable one to enter respectable company. In many instances we have repeated the same idea over again, to enforce some important point. We now proceed to give the reader some advice as to the mental qualities desirable to be possessed by all who wish to make a lasting mark in "our best society."

THE VALUE OF KNOWLEDGE.

The young are apt to disregard the value of knowledge,—partly, we fear, from the pertinacious constancy with which teachers, parents, and guardians, endeavor to impress them with its inestimable worth.

"Knowledge better than houses and lands" is the title of one of the first picture-books presented to a child, and it is the substance of ten thousand pre

cepts which are constantly dinned in his ears from infancy upwards; so that, at first, the truth becomes tiresome and almost detested.

A GOOD CONSCIENCE.

Still it is a sober truth, of which every one should feel the force, that, with the single exception of a good conscience, no possession can be so valuable as a good stock of information.

Some portion of it is always coming into use; and there is hardly any kind of information which may not become useful in an active life.

When we speak of information, we do not mean that merely which has direct reference to one's trade, profession, or business.

GOOD CHARACTER.

To be skillful in these is a matter of absolute necessity; so much so, that we often see, for example, a merchant beginning the world with no other stock than a good character and a thorough knowledge of business, and speedily acquiring wealth and respectability; while another, who is not well informed in his business, begins with a fortune, fails in everything he undertakes, causes loss and disgrace to all who are connected with him, and goes on blundering to the end of the chapter.

A WELL INFORMED MAN.

A thorough knowledge of one's business or profession is not enough, of itself, to constitute what is properly called a well-informed man.

On the contrary, one who possesses this kind of information only, is generally regarded as a mere machine, unfit for society or rational enjoyment.

LIBERAL AND SCIENTIFIC INFORMATION.

A man should possess a certain amount of liberal and scientific information, to which he should always be adding something as long as he lives; and in this free country he should make himself acquainted with his own political and legal rights.

"Keep a thing seven years and you will have use for it," is an old motto which will apply admirably well to almost any branch of knowledge.

Learn almost any science, language, or art, and in a few years you will find it of service to you.

EMPLOYING LEISURE MOMENTS.

Employ that leisure which others waste in idle and corrupting pursuits, in the acquisition of those branches of knowledge which serve to amuse as well as instruct; natural history, for example, or chemistry, or astronomy, or drawing, or any of the numerous kindred branches of study.

SOFTENING NATURAL FEROCITY.

There is in most tempers a natural ferocity which wants to be softened; and the study of the liberal arts and sciences will generally have this happy effect in polishing the manners.

When the mind is daily attentive to useful learning, a man is detached from his passions, and taken as it were, out of himself; and the habit of being so abstracted makes the mind more manageable, because the passions are out of practice.

THE ARTS OF PEACE.

Besides, the arts of learning are the arts of peace, which furnish no encouragements to a hostile disposition.

There is a dreadful mistake too current among young people, and which their own experience is apt to cherish and commend in one another-that a youth is of no consequence, and makes no figure, unless he is quarrelsome, and renders himself a terror to his companions.

They call this honor and spirit; but it is false honor, and an evil spirit. It does not command any respect. but begets hatred and aversion; and as it can not well consist with the purposes of society, it leads a person into a sort of solitude, like that of the wild beast in the desert, who must spend his time by himself, because he is not fit for company.

DIFFERENCES IN SOCIAL INTERCOURSE.

If any difference arises, it should be conducted with reason and moderation. Scholars should contend with wit and argument, which are the weapons proper to their profession.

Their science is a science of defense; it is like that of fencing with the foil, which has a guard or button upon the point, that no hurt may be given. When the sword is taken up instead of the foil, fencing is no longer an exercise of the school but of the field.

If a gentleman with a foil in his hand appears heated, and in a passion with his adversary, he exposes himself by acting out of character; because this is a trial of art, and not of passion.

The reason why people are soon offended, is only this that they set a high value upon themselves.

SLIGHT REFLECTIONS.

A slight reflection can never be a great offense, but when it is offered to a great person; and if a man is such in his own opinion, he will measure an offense, as he measures himself, far beyond its value.

If we consult our religion upon this subject, it teaches us that no man is to value himself for any qualifications of mind or body.

What we call complaisance, gentility, or good breeding, affects to do this; and is the imitation of a most excellent virtue.