Decorum: A Practical Treatise on Etiquette and Dress of the Best American ...

"ill bred," but to impart that information by which anyone may be enabled to acquire gentlemanly ease, or graceful ladylike deportment, so that their presence will be sought for, and they will not only learn that great art of being thoroughly at home in all societies, but will have that rarer gift of making every one around them feel easy, contented and happy.

To what extent the object of the work is attained, we will leave to our readers to decide.

The author desires to express his thanks to those ladies who so kindly and materially assisted in the preparation of the chapters on the toilette, dress, &c., and hopes that the precepts laid down in this work be not followed as infallible oracles, but that they be combined with that good sense and good judgment, which alone are the touch-stone of all true gentility and good manners.

The good will of women-Social connections-Being natural-With whom

to associate-What to tolerate-Common place speech-Modesty-Re-

spectful deference-Ease of manner-Distinctions in conduct-Long

usage-Selecting company-Good sense-Qualities of a gentleman-

Whom to imitate.

By relatives-Saluting and shaking hands-First introduction-Second

or subsequent meeting-The obligations of-After an introduction-

While traveling-Introductory letter to ladies-Receipt of introduct-

ory letters-Requesting a letter of-to society-Bestowing of titles-

Proper forms of--Ceremonious phrases-Casual introductions-Speak

the name distinctly-Introduction of a Lady to Gentlemen-in other

countries-With permission-Without permission-Meeting on the

street-Morning visitors-Introducing yourself-Assisting a lady in

difficulty.

Forms of salutation-Of different nations-Words of salutation-For-
eigners salutations-on the street-Meeting in the street-Bow of
civility-Saluting ladies-Etiquette of hand shaking-The kiss-The kiss
of respect-The kiss of friends. -Women kissing in public.

The value of knowledge-A good conscience-Good character-A well
informed man-Liberal and scientific information-Employing leisure
moments-Softening natural ferocity-The arts of peace-Differences

in social intercourse-Slight reflections-Improving by conversation-
Learn something from all--Be not too confident-Narrow and limited
views-Consulting with others-Difference of opinion.

CHAPTER VI.
CONVERSATION.

55 ΤΟ
Subjects to be avoided-Talk to people of their own affairs-Avoid talk-
ing too much of their professions-Avoid classical quotations-Modu-
lation-Slang-Using proverbs and puns-Avoid long arguments-In-
terrupting a person while speaking-Whispering in society-Make the
topic of conversation known-Witticisms-Avoid unfamiliar subjects
Introducing anecdotes--Correct pronunciation-Avoid repeating-Cul-
tivating the mind-Music-A low voice-Talk well about trifles-Double
entendres-Indelicate words and expressions-Profanity-Listening-
The best kind of conversation-Interjections-Avoid wounding the
feelings of another-Affectations-Use plain words-Avoid wit which
wounds-Proper reserve-Professional peculiarities-Modesty-Con-
versing with ladies-Conclusion.

Visits of congratulation—Of ceremony or calls--Time to make ceremo-
nious visits-Keep an account of ceremonious visits-Visits of cere-
mony among friends-calling at an inconvenient hour-Visiting at
hotels-Visiting the sick-Style of conversation-Visits of condolence
-Before going abroad-Leave taking of a family-Meeting other
visitors-Gentlemen's morning call-Returning from the country-
Cards for ceremonious visits-Calling on strangers-Engaged or not at
home-Evening visits-Friendly calls-Omitting visits-Ceremonious
visits Suitable times for visits-How to treat visitors-Taking a seat
while visiting-Paying equal attention to all-Taking a friend with
you-Privileges of ladies-Visiting acquaintances alone-Preference of
seats-Respect towards the aged and feeble-Discontinuing work-
Visiting cards-Address on cards-Keeping cards-Laying aside the
bonnet-Habitual visits-Short visits-Unintentional intrusions-Free
hospitality-Treatment of guests-Duties of the visitor-Leavetaking.
CHAPTER VIII.

DINNER PARTIES AND BALLS.

91 116

Invitations-Reply to-Arriving too 'e-Manners at Table-Dress neat-
ly for dinner party-How long to remain-Congenial company-Num-
ber of guests-Manner of writing invitations-Invitation accepted-
Declined-Invitation to tea party-Reception of guests-Introduction
of guests-Proceeding to dinner-Arranging guests-Intermingling
guests-Asking the waiter for anything-Praising every dish-Picking
your teeth at table-Selecting a particular dish-Duties of host and

hostess--Paring fruit for a lady-Dipping bread into preserves-Soup-

Fish-General rules regarding Dinner-Watching how others do-Urg-

ing guests to eat-Waiting on others-Monopolizing conversation-

Signal for leaving the table-Dancing-Giving a ball-Choice of guests

-Issuing invitations-Prejudices against dancing-Notes of interoga-

tion-Variety of toilette-Choice of attire-Evening party-The cloak

room-When to arrive-Refusing to dance-Giving a reason for not

dancing-How to ask a lady to dance-Leaving a ball room-Talking

too much-Wall flowers-Duties of gentlemen-Duty of ladies-While

dancing-Grace and modesty-Private party-Public balls-Visit of

thanks-Deportment in public places-General rules for a bail room-

Recognizing friends on the street-Omitting to recognize acquaintances

-Shaking hands with a lady-Young ladies conduct on the street-AC-

companying visitors-Fulfilling an engagement-Conduct while shop-

ping-Taking off your glove-Asking information--Crossing a muddy

street-Expensive dress in the street-Carriage of a lady in public

-Forming acquaintances in public--Demanding attention-Meeting a

lady acquaintance-Stopping a lady on the street--Passing acquaintances

-Crowding before another--Giving the arm-When to offer the arm--

Returning a salute-Passing before a lady-Corner loafers-Shouting-

Gentlemen walkingwith a lady--Crossing the street-General rules—

Passing through a crowd-Saluting a lady-Ascending a mountain-

Meeting on the street--Intrusive inquiries on meeting-Smoking while

walking-Taking off your hat.

Etiquette of riding-Riding in public-Riding with ladies-Assisting a lady

to mount-Pace in riding-Meeting friends on horse back-Meeting a

lady--Assisting a lady to alight from a horse-Entering a carriage-As-

sisting a lady into a carriage.

A lady traveling alone-On arrival of the train-Arriving at destination

Rushing for a ticket office-Personal comfort-Rushing for the table-

Social intercourse while traveling-Occupying too many seats-Retain-

ing a seat-Etiquette of street cars-Etiquette of ferry boats-Check-

ing familiarity--Duties of ladies to other ladies while traveling--Con-

sulting the comfort of others--Attention to the wants of others-Self-

ishness of ladies

CHAPTER XII.

ETIQUETTE OF PUBLIC PLACES.

146 159

Church Etiquette-Visiting an artist-Conduct in picture galleries-Invi-
tation to opera or concert-Conduct in opera theatre or public hall-
Church or fancy fairs-Picnics-How to dress-Duties of gentlemen-
Committee of arrangements-Boating-Rowing-Ladies rowing.

CHAPTER XIII.

LETTER WRITING.

Letters of introduction-Letters of friendship-The family letter-
Parents to children-Letters of love-Letters of business-Letters of
invitation-Invitation to a party-General advice to letter writers.

CHAPTER XIV.

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

177 198

Charms for procuring love-A woman's judgment-Love and marriage

-Usages of society-Love a universal passion-A ladies position-A

gentleman's position-Conduct of a gentleman toward ladies-Prema-

ture declaration-Love at first sight-Trifling with a man's feelings-

A poor triumph-A still greater crime-The rejected lover-Duty of

a rejected lover-Unmanly conduct-Encouraging the address of a

gentleman-Proposal of marriage-Forms for proposals-Proposal

accepted-Protracted engagements-Asking Papa-An engagement

ring-The relations of an engaged couple-Demonstrations of affection