profession-and thou shouldst have laughed and moralized on-Trust me, my dear Eugentus, I should have said, "there are worse occupations in this world than feeling a woman's pulse.”—But a Grisset's! thon wouldst have said—and in an open shop Yorick

So much the better: for when my views are direct, Eugenius, I care not if all the world saw me feel it.

THE HUSBAND.

PARIS.

I HAD Counted twenty pulsations, and was going on fast towards the fortieth, when her husband coming unexpected from a back parlour into the shop, put me a little out of my reckoning.-'Twas nobody but her husband, she said—so I began a fresh score.

Monsieur iso good, quoth she, as he passed by us, to give himself the trouble of feeling my pulse.

The husband took off his hat, and making me a bow, said, I did him too much honour-aid having said that, he put on his hat and walked out.

Good God! said I to myself, as he went outand can this man be the husband of this woman? Let it not torment the few who know what must have been the grounds of this exclamation, if I explain to those who do not.

In London a shopkeeper and a shopkeeper's wife seem to be one bone and one flesh in the several endowments of mind and body, sometimes the one, sometimes the other has it, so as in general to be upon a par, and to tally with each other as nearly as man and wife need to do.

In Paris, there are scarce two orders of beings

C

more different; for the legislative and executive powers of the shop not resting in the husband, he seldom comes there--in some dark and dismal room behind, he sits commerceless in his thrum nightcap, the same rough son of Nature that Nature left him.

The genius of a people where nothing but the monarchy is salique, having ceded this department, with sundry others, totally to the women---by a continual higgling with customers of all ranks and sizes, from morning till night, like so many rough pebbles shook long together in a bag, by amicable collisions they have worn down their asperities and sharp angles, and not only become round and smooth, but will receive, some of them, a polish like a brilliant---Monsieur le Mari is little better than the stone under your foot

---Surely---surely, man! it is not good for thee to sit alone---thou wast made for social intercourse and gentle greetings, and this improvement of our. natures from it, I appeal to as my evidence.

And how does it beat, Monsieur? said sheWith all the benignity, said I, looking quietly in her eyes, that I expected.-She was going to say 2 something civil in return-but the lad came into the shop with the gloves-A propos, said I, I want a couple of pairs myself.

THE GLOVES.

PARIS.

THE beautiful Grisset rose up, when I said this, and going behind the counter, reached down a parcel, and untied it; I advanced to the side over against her:-they were all too large. The beautiful Grisset measured them one by one across my

hand-It would not alter the dimensions-She begged I would try a single pair, which seemed to be the least she held it open-my hand slipped into it at once-It will not do, said I, shaking my head a little-No, said she, doing the same thing.

There are certain combined looks of simple subtlety-where whim, and sense, and seriousness, and nonsense, are so blended, that all the languages of Babel set loose together could not express them -they are communicated and caught so instantaneously, that you can scarce say which party is the infector. I leave it to your men of words to swell pages about it—it is enough in the present to say again, the gloves would not do: so folding our hands within our arms, we both lolled upon the counter— it was narrow, and there was just room for the parcel to lie between us.

The beautiful Grisset looked sometimes at the gloves then sideways to the window, then at the gloves-and then at me. I was not disposed to break silence I followed her example; so I looked at the gloves, then to the window, then at the gloves, and then at her-and so on alternately.

I found I lost considerably in every attack-she had a quick black eye, and shot through two such long and silken eye-lashes with such penetration, that she looked into my very heart and reins-it may seem strange, but I could actually feel she did. It is no matter, said I, taking up a couple of the pairs next me, and putting them into my pocket.

I was sensible the beautiful Grisset had not asked above a single livre above the price-I wished she had asked a livre more, and was puzzling my brains how to bring the matter about- -Do you think

my dear sir, said she, mistaking my embarrassment that I could ask a sous too much of a strangerand of a stranger whose politeness, more than his want of the gloves, has done me the honour to lay The himself at my mercy?-M'en croyez capable?— Faith! not I, said I; and if you were, you are welcome--so counting the money into her hand, and SD with a lower bow than one generally makes to a shopkeeper's wife, I went out, and her lad with his parcel followed me.

200

THE TRANSLATION.

PARIS..

THERE was nobody in the box I was let into but a kindly old French officer I love the character, not only because I honour the man whose manners are softened by a profession which makes bad men worse; but that I once knew one-for he is no more-and why should I not rescue one page from #violation by writing his name in it, and telling the world it was Captain Tobias Shandy, the dearest of my flock and friends, whose philanthropy I never think of at this long distance from his death but my eyes gush out with tears For his sake, I have a predilection for the whole corps of veterans: and so I strode over the two back rows of benches, and placed myself beside him.

The old officer was reading attentively a small pamphlet-it might be the book of the opera-with a large pair of spectacles. As soon as I sat down, he took his spectacles off, and putting them into a shagreen case, returned them and the book into his -pocket together. I half rose up, and made him a bow.

Translate this into any civilized language in the world-the sense is this:

"Here's a poor stranger come into the box-he seems as if he knew nobody: and is never likely, was he to be seven years in Paris, if every man "he comes near keeps his spectacles upon his nose "'tis shutting the door of conversation absolutely "in his face-and using him worse than a German."

The French officer might as well have said it all aloud; and if he had, I should in course have put the bow I made him into French too, and told him "I was sensible of his attention, and returned him "a thousand thanks for it."

There is no secret so aiding to the progress of sociality as to get master of this short hand, and be quick in rendering the several turns of looks and limbs, with all their inflexions and delineations, into plain words. For my own part, by long habitude, I do it so mechanically, that when I walk the streets of London, I go translating all the way, and have more than once stood behind in the circle, where not three words have been said, and have brought off twenty different dialogues with me, which I could have fairly wrote down and sworn to.

I was going one evening to Martini's concert at Milan, and was just entering the door of the hall, when the Marquesina di F*** was coming out in a sort of a hurry--she was almost upon me before I saw her; so I gave a spring to one side to let her pass--she had done the same, and on the same side too; so we ran our heads together: she instantly got to the other side to get out; I was just as unfortunate as she had been, for I had sprung to that side, and opposed her passage again--We both flew together to the other side, and then backand so on--it was ridiculous; we both blushed in