with a

Granted, on the part of Madame ; proviso, That as the curtains of that bed are of a Alimsey transparent cotton, and appear likewise too scanty to draw close, that the Fille de Chambre shall fasten up the opening, either by corking pins, or needle and thread, in such manner as shall be deem'd a sufficient barrier on the side of Monsieur.

2dly. It is required on the part of Madame, that Monsieur shall lie the whole night through in his robe de chambre.

Rejected inasmuch as Monsieur is not worth a robe de chambre; he having nothing in his portmanteau but six shirts and a black silk pair of breeches.

The mentioning the silk pair of breeches made an entire change of the article for the breeches were accepted as an equivalent for the robe de chambre; and so it was stipulated and agreed upon, that I should lie in my black silk breeches all night.

3dly. It was insisted upon, and stipulated for by the lady, that after Monsieur was got to bed, and the candle and fire extinguished, that Monsieur should not speak one single word the whole night.

Granted; provided Monsieur's saying his prayers might not be deem'd an infraction of the treaty. There was but one point forgot in this treaty, and that was the manner in which the lady and my

self should be obliged to undress and get to bed— there was one way of doing it, and that I leave to the reader to devise; protesting as I do, that if it is not the most delicate in nature, 'tis the fault of his own imagination—against which this is not my first complaint.

Now when we were got to bed, whether it was the novelty of the situation, or what it was, I know not; but so it was, I could not shut my eyes ; I tried this side and that, and turn'd and turn'd again, till a full hour after midnight; when Nature and patience both wearing out-O my God! said I.

You have broke the treaty, Monsieur, said the lady, who had no more sleep than myself.—I begg'd a thousand pardons—but insisted it was no more than an ejaculation-she maintained 'twas an entire infraction of the treaty-I maintain'd it was provided for in the clause of the third article.

The lady would by no means give up the point, though she weaken'd her barrier by it; for in the warmth of the dispute, I could hear two or three corking pins fall out of the curtain to the ground.

-I

Upon my word and honour, Madame, said I— stretching my arm out of bed by way of asseveration(I was going to have added, that I would not have trespass'd against the remotest idea of decorum for the world)—

—But the Fille de Chambre hearing there were words between us, and fearing that hostilities would ensue in course, had crept silently out of her closet, and it being totally dark, had stolen so close to our beds, that she had got herself into the narrow passage which separated them, and had advanced so far up as to be in a line betwixt her mistress and me

So that when I stretch'd out my hand, I caught hold of the Fille de Chambre's

EPILOGUE

(From Tristram Shandy)

OW far my pen has been fatigued, like those of other travellers, in this journey of it, over

so barren a track-the world must judgebut the traces of it, which are now all set o' vibrating together this moment, tell me 'tis the most fruitful and busy period of my life; for as I had made no convention with my man with the gun, as to time— by stopping and talking to every soul I met, who was not in a full trot-joining all parties before me -waiting for every soul behind-hailing all those who were coming through cross-roads-arresting all kinds of beggars, pilgrims, fiddlers, friars—not passing

by a woman in a mulberry-tree without commending her legs, and tempting her into conversation with a pinch of snuff-In short, by seizing every handle, of what size or shape soever, which chance held out to me in this journey—I turned my plain into a city -I was always in company, and with great variety too and as my mule loved society as much as myself, and had some proposals always on his part to offer to every beast he met-I am confident we could have passed through Pall-Mall, or St. James's-Street for a month together, with fewer adventures-and seen less of human nature.

:

O! there is that sprightly frankness, which at once unpins every plait of a Languedocian's dressthat whatever is beneath it, it looks so like the simplicity which poets sing of in better days—I will delude my fancy, and believe it is so.

'Twas in the road betwixt Nismes and Lunel, where there is the best Muscatto wine in all France, and which by the bye belongs to the honest canons of Montpellier and foul befall the man who has drank it at their table, who grudges them a drop of it.

The sun was set-they had done their work; the nymphs had tied up their hair afreshand the swains were preparing for a carousal-my mule made a dead point-'Tis the fife and tabourin,

said I—I'm frightened to death, quoth he―They are running at the ring of pleasure, said I, giving him a prick—By saint Boogar, and all the saints at the backside of the door of purgatory, said he— (making the same resolution with the abbesse of Andoüillets) I'll not go a step further'Tis very

well, sir, said I—I never will argue a point with one of your family, as long as I live; so leaping off his back, and kicking off one boot into this ditch, and t'other into that-I'll take a dance, said I—so stay you here.

A sun-burnt daughter of Labour rose up from the group to meet me, as I advanced towards them; her hair, which was a dark chestnut approaching rather to a black, was tied up in a knot, all but a single tress.

We want a cavalier, said she, holding out both her hands, as if to offer them—And a cavalier ye shall have, said I, taking hold of both of them.

Hadst thou, Nannette, been arrayed like a duchess !—But that cursed slit in thy petticoat! Nannette cared not for it.

We could not have done without you, said she, letting go one hand, with self-taught politeness, leading me up with the other.

A lame youth, whom Apollo had recompensed with a pipe, and to which he had added a