Epigrams SIR, I admit your general rule, But you yourself may serve to show it, 1917 Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1772-1834] DAMIS, an author cold and weak, Thinks as a critic he's divine; Unknown SWANS sing before they die-'twere no bad thing Did certain persons die before they sing. Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1772-1834] He who in his pocket hath no money Should, in his mouth, be never without honey. NOBLES and heralds, by your leave, Unknown Here lies what once was Matthew Prior, The son of Adam and of Eve; Can Bourbon or Nassau claim higher? Matthew Prior [1664-1721] HERE lie I, Martin Elginbrodde; Hae mercy o' my soul, Lord God, As I wad do were I Lord God, And ye were Martin Elginbrodde. George Macdonald [1824-1905] WHO killed Kildare? Who dared Kildare to kill? Death killed Kildare-who dare kill whom he will. Jonathan Swift [1667-1745] WITH death doomed to grapple, Beneath the cold slab he Who lied in the chapel Now lies in the abbey. Byron's epitaph for Pitt WHEN doctrines meet with general approbation, It is not heresy, but reformation. David Garrick (1717–1779] TREASON doth never prosper; what's the reason? John Harington [1561-1612] GOD bless the King-I mean the faith's defender! God bless us all!—that's quite another thing. John Byrom [1692-1763] "TIs highly rational, we can't dispute, The Love, being naked, should promote a suit: Whose fire's so oft extinguished by a match? Richard Garnett [1835-1906] "COME, come," said Tom's father, "at your time of life, There's no longer excuse for thus playing the rake.— It is time you should think, boy, of taking a wife.""Why, so it is, father, whose wife shall I take?" Thomas Moore [1779-1852] WHEN Eve upon the first of men The apple pressed with specious cant, O, what a thousand pities then That Adam was not Adam-ant! Thomas Moore [1779-1852] WHILST Adam slept, Eve from his side arose: Unknown "WHAT? rise again with all one's bones," I trusted, when I went to Heaven, To go without my rib." Samuel Taylor Coleridge [1772-1834] General Summary HERE lies my wife: here let her lie! Now she's at rest, and so am I. 1919 John Dryden [1631-1700] AFTER Such years of dissension and strife, Thomas Hood [1799-1845] WRITTEN ON A LOOKING-GLASS I CHANGE, and so do women too; AN EPITAPH Unknown A LOVELY young lady I mourn in my rhymes: And her talk was a mixture of foolish and wise. ON A HENPECKED SQUIRE As father Adam first was fooled Robert Burns [1759-1796] GENERAL SUMMARY WE are very slightly changed As we run men down to-day. "Dowb," the first of all his race, Met the Mammoth face to face On the lake or in the cave, Stole the steadiest canoe, Ate the quarry others slew, Died-and took the finest grave. When they scratched the reindeer-bone, Filched it from the artist-then, Even in those early days, Won a simple Viceroy's praise Through the toil of other men. Ere they hewed the Sphinx's visage, Even as it does in this age. Who shall doubt the secret hid Under Cheops' pyramid Was that the contractor did Cheops out of several millions? Or that Joseph's sudden rise To Comptroller of Supplies Was a fraud of monstrous size On King Pharaoh's swart Civilians? Thus, the artless songs I sing New or never said before. And shall be for evermore. THE MIMICS AN OMAR FOR LADIES I ONE for her Club and her own Latch-key fights, Ah, take the Clothes and let the Culture go, Nor heed the grumble of the Women's Rights! -"Lo, Look at the Shop-girl all about us--" Into a Hat, and when my hair is waved, Doubtless my Friend will take me to the Show." And she who saved her coin for Flannels red, Will both be Underground in Fifty Years, Th' exclusive Style you set your heart upon Like monograms on a Saleslady's tie, Think, in the sad Four Hundred's gilded halls, How Ping-pong raged so high-then faded out To those far Suburbs that still chase its Balls. They say Sixth Avenue and the Bowery keep : The dernier cri that once was far from cheap; Green veils, one season chic-Department stores Mark down in vain-no profit shall they reap. |