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I Never finished a twelve-guinea bargain fo exped

itiously in my life: my time feemed heavy upon the lofs of the lady, and knowing every moment of it would be as two, till I put myself into motion - I ordered poft - horfes directly, and walked towards the hôtel.

Lord! faid I, hearing the town clock ftrike four, and recollecting that I had been little more than a fingle hour in Calais

-What a large volume of adventures may be grafped within this little fpan of life by him who interefts his heart in every thing, and who, having eyes to fee, what time and chance are perpetually holding out to him as he journeyeth on his way, miffes nothing he can fairly lay his hands on.—

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no matter

-If this won't turn out fomething — another -'tis an affay upon human nature I get my labor for my pains. -'tis enough the pleasure of the experiment has kept my fenfes, and the best part of my blood awake, and laid the grofs to fleep.

I pity the man who can travel from Dan to BeerSheeba, and cry, 'Tis all barren-and fo it is; and fo is all the world to him who will not cultivate the

fruits it offers. I declare, faid I, clapping my hands chearily together, that was I in a defert, I would find out wherewith in it to call forth my affections

If I could not do better, I would fasten them upon some sweet myrtle, or feek some melancholy cypress to connect myself to-I would court their fhade, and greet them kindly for their protection— I would cut my name upon them, and fwear they were the lovelieft trees throughout the defert: if their leaves wither'd, I would teach myself to mourn, and when they rejoiced, I would rejoice along with them.

The learned SMELFUNGUS travelled from Boulogne to Paris-from Paris to Rome-and fo on- but he fet out with the fpleen and jaundice, and every object he pafs'd by was difcolored or diftortedHe wrote an account of them, but 'twas nothing but the account of his miserable feelings.

I met Smelfungus in the grand portico of the pantheon-he was just coming out of it- 'Tis nothing but a huge cockpit*, faid he-I wish you had faid nothing worse of the Venus of Medicis, replied I-for in paffing through Florence, I had heard he had fallen foul upon the goddess, and used her worse than a common ftrumpet, without the least provocation in nature.

I popp'd upon Smelfungus again at Turin, in his return home; and a fad tale of forrowful adventures * Vide $ 's Travels.

had he to tell, "wherein he spoke of moving accid»ents by flood and field, and of the cannibals which each other eat: the Anthropophagi"

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he had been flea'd alive, and bedevil'd, and used worse than St. Bartholomew, at every stage he had

come at

-I'll tell it, cried Smelfungus, to the world. You had better tell it, faid I, to your phyfician.

Mundungus, with an immenfe fortune, made the whole tour; going on from Rome to Naples — from Naples to Venice-from Venice to Viennato Drefden, to Berlin, without one generous connection or pleasurable anecdote to tell of; but he had travell'd ftraight on, looking neither to his right hand or his left, left Love or Pity fhould feduce him out of his road.


Peace be to them! if it is to be found; but heaven itself, was it poffible to get there with such tempers, would want objects to give it-every gentle fpirit would come flying upon the wings of Love to hail their arrival-Nothing would the fouls of Smelfungus and Mundungus hear of, but fresh anthems of joy, fresh raptures of love, and fresh congratula tions of their common felicity—I heartily pity them: they have brought up no faculties for this work; and was the happiest manfion in heaven to be allotted to Smelfungus and Mundungus, they would be fo far from being happy, that the fouls of Smel

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fungus and Mundungus would do penance there to all eternity.


I HAD once loft my portmanteau from behind my

chaife, and twice got out in the rain, and one of the times up to the knees in dirt, to help the poftillion to tie it on, without being able to find out what was wanting-Nor was it till I got to Montriul, upon the landlord's afking me if I wanted not a fervant, that it occurred to me, that that was the very thing.

A fervant! That I do most fadly, quoth IBecause, Monfieur, faid the landlord, there is a clever young fellow, who would be very proud of the honor to ferve an Englishman. -But why an English one, more than any other?—They are fo generous, faid the landlord-I'll be fhot if this is not a livre out of my pocket, quoth I to myfelf, this very night-But they have wherewithal to be fo, Monfieur, added he-Set down one livre more for that, quoth I-It was but laft night, faid the landlord, qu'un my Lord Anglois préfentoit un écu a la fille de chambre-Tant pis, pour Mademoiselle Janatone, faid I.

Now Janatone being the landlord's daughter, and the landlord fuppofing I was young in French, took the liberty to inform me, I fhould not have said tant pis-but, tant mieux. Tant mieux, toujours,

Monfieur, faid he, when there is any thing to be got - tant pis, when there is nothing. It comes to the famè thing, said I. Pardonnez-moi, faid the landlord.

I cannot take a fitter opportunity to obferve once for all, that tant pis and tant mieux being two of the great hinges in French conversation, a stranger would do well to set himself right in the use of them, before he gets to Paris.

A prompt French Marquis at our ambaffador's table demanded of Mr. H-, if he was H- the poet? No, faid H- mildly Tant pis, replied the Marquis.

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It is H- the hiftorian, faid another- Tant mieux, faid the Marquis. And Mr. H-, who is a man of an excellent heart, return'd thanks for both.

When the landlord had fet me right in this matter, he called in La Fleur, which was the name of the young man he had spoke of — faying only firft, That as for his talents, he would prefume to fay nothing Monfieur was the beft judge what would fuit him; but for the fidelity of La Fleur, he would ftand responsible in all he was worth.

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The landlord deliver'd this in a manner which instantly set my mind to the business I was upon and La Fleur, who stood waiting without, in that breathless expectation which every fon of nature of us have felt in our turns, came in.

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