choly instance was the case of Mrs. Thompson, of Seekonk, a most amiable lady, beloved and respected by all around her, but who, by constant use of the crank, lost all control of the flexors and extensors of her right arm, and inadvertently punched her husband in the eye, which, he being a man of suspicious and unforgiving disposition, led B A to great unhappiness in the family, and finally resulted in the melancholy case of Thompson vs. Thompson, so familiar to most of the civilized world. A turn for mechanism, and an intense desire to contribute to the happiness of the female sex, have ever been distinguished traits in my character. On learning these facts, therefore, I devoted myself to a thorough investigation of the subject, and after a month of close application, have at last made an invention which will at once do away with everything objectionable in the use of the sewingmachine. H "FELINE ATTACHMENT" FOR SEWING-MACHINES. This beautiful discovery is now named "PHOENIX'S FELINE ATTACHMENT." Like most great inventions, the Attachment is of great simplicity. An upright shaft is connected with the machine by a cogwheel and pinion, and supported below by a suitable frame-work. Two projecting arms are attached to the shaft, to one of which a large cat is connected by a light harness, and from the other, a living mouse is suspended by the tail, within a few inches of the nose of the motor. As the cat springs toward the mouse, the latter is removed, and keeping constantly at the original distance, the machine revolves with great rapidity. The prodigious velocity produced by the rapacity of the cat in its futile endeavors to overtake the mouse, can only be imagined by one who has seen the Attachment in full operation. It is thus that man shows his supremacy over the brute creation, by making even their rapacious instincts subservient to his use. Should it be required to arrest the motion of the machine, a handkerchief is thrown over the mouse, and the cat at once pauses, disgusted. Remove the handkerchief, and again she springs forward with renewed ardor. The writer has seen one cat (a tortoise-shell) of so ardent and unwearying disposition, that she made eighteen pairs of men's pantaloons, two dozen shirts, and seven stitched shirts, before she lay down exhausted. It is to be hoped that the ladies throughout the land will avail themselves of this beautiful discovery, which will entirely supersede the use of the needle, and make the manufacture of clothing and household materials a matter of pleasure to themselves, and exciting and healthy exercise to their domestic animals. I present on page 676 an elevation of the "Feline Attachment" in operation, that all may understand its powers, and none fail to procure one, through ignorance of its merits. The Attachment will be furnished, to families having sewing-machines, on the most reasonable terms and at the shortest notice. Young and docile cats supplied with the Attachment, by application at 348 Broadway, New York-office of the Patent Back-Action Hen Persuader. FABLES. THE MERCHANT OF VENICE. BY G. T. LANIGAN. A VENETIAN merchant, who was lolling in the lap of Luxury, was accosted upon the Rialto by a Friend who had not seen him for many months. "How is this?" cried the latter; "when I last saw you your Gaberdine was out at elbows, and now you sail in your own Gondola !" True," replied the Merchant, "but since then I have met with serious losses, and been obliged to compound with my Creditors for ten Cents on the Dollar. Moral.-Composition is the Life of Trade. THE GOOD SAMARITAN. BY G. T. LANIGAN. A CERTAIN Man went from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among Thieves, who beat him and stripped him and left him for dead. A Good Samaritan, seeing this, clapped Spurs to his Ass and galloped away, lest he should be sent to the House of Detention as a Witness, while the Robbers were released on Bail. Moral.-The Perceiver is worse than the Thief. PREACHING V. PRACTICE. BY R. J. BURDETTE. A SEA CLIFF, L. I., audience was dreadfully shocked last Sunday night. Just as a local temperance leader was about to begin his address, he leaned too closely over the candle and his breath caught fire. He afterwards explained, however, that he had been using camphor for the toothache. The amendment was accepted, and the talk went on. THE SOCIETY UPON THE STANISLAUS. BY BRET HARTE. I RESIDE at Table Mountain, and my name is Truthful James; And I'll tell in simple language what I know about the row But first I would remark, that it is not a proper plan For any scientific gent to whale his fellow-man, Now nothing could be finer, or more beautiful to see, Then Brown he read a paper, and he reconstructed there, Then Brown he smiled a bitter smile, and said he was at fault. He was a most sarcastic man, this quiet Mr. Brown, Now I hold it is not decent for a scientific gent Then Abner Deal, of Angel's, raised a point of order-when For, in less time than I write it, every member did engage In a warfare with the remnants of a palæozoic age; And the way they heaved those fossils in their anger was a sin, Till the skull of an old mammoth caved the head of Thompson in. BROWN. And this is all I have to say of these improper games, |