Feed your fill,-untasted only
Let the fragrant onion go;
Or, amid the revels lonely,

Go not nigh the mistletoe!"

KINDRED QUACKS.

PUNCH.

I OVERHEARD two matrons grave, allied by close affinity (The name of one was PHYSIC, and the other's was DIVINITY), As they put their groans together, both so doleful and lugubrious:

Says PHYSIC, “To unload the heart of grief, ma'am, is salubrı

ous:

Here am I, at my time of life, in this year of our deliverance; My age gives me a right to look for some esteem and reverence. But, ma'am, I feel it is too true what every body says to me,— Too many of my children are a shame and a disgrace to me.'

"Ah!" says DIVINITY, "my heart can suffer with another, ma'am; I'm sure I can well understand your feelings as a mother, ma'am. I've some, as well,-no doubt but what you're perfectly aware on't, ma'am,

Whose doings bring derision and discredit on their parent, ma'am.'

"There are boys of mine," says PHYSIC, "ma'am, such silly fancies nourishing,

As curing gout and stomach-ache by pawing and by flourishing."

"Well," says DIVINITY, "I've those that teach that Heaven's beatitudes

Are to be earned by postures, genuflexions, bows, and attitudes.”

"My good-for-nothing sons," says PHYSIC, "some have turned hydropathists,

Some taken up with mesmerism, or joined the homoeopathists."

"Mine," says DIVINITY, "pursue a system of gimcrackery, Called Puseyism, a pack of stuff, and quite as arrant quackery."

Says PHYSIC, "Mine have sleep-walkers, pretending through the hide of you,

To look, although their eyes are shut, and tell you what's inside of you."

Would have you, ma'am, to blind yourself, to see the road to travel

in."

"Mine," PHYSIC says, "have quite renounced their good old pills and potions, ma'am,

For doses of a billionth of a grain, and such wild notions, ma'am.”

"So,” says DIVINITY, "have mine left wholesome exhortation, ma'am,

For credence-tables, reredoses, rood-lofts, and maceration, ma'am.”

"But hospitals," says PHYSIC, "my misguided boys are founding, ma'am."

"Well," says DIVINITY, "of mine, the chapels are abounding, ma'am."

"Mine are trifling with diseases, ma'am," says PHYSIC, "not attacking them."

Mine," says DIVINITY, "instead of curing souls, are quacking them."

"Ah, ma'am," says PHYSIC, "I'm to blame, I fear, for these absurdities."

"That's my fear too," DIVINITY Says; "ma'am, upon my word it is."

Says PHYSIC, "Fees, not science, have been far too much my wishes, ma'am."

"Truth," says DIVINITY, "I've loved much less than loaves and fishes, ma'am."

Says each to each, "We're simpletons, or sad deceivers, some of

us;

And I am sure, ma'am, I don't know whatever will become of

us."

THE RAILWAY TRAVELER'S FAREWELL TO HIS

FAMILY.

'T was business call'd a Father to travel by the Rail;

PUNCH.

His eye was calm, his hand was firm, although his cheek was pale.
He took his little boy and girl, and set them on his knee;
And their mother hung about his neck, and her tears flowed fast
and free.

I'm going by the Rail, my dears—ELIZA, love, don't cry—
Now, kiss me both before I leave, and wish Papa good-by.
I hope I shall be back again, this afternoon, to tea,
And then, I hope, alive and well, that your Papa you 'll see.

I'm going by the Rail, my dears, where the engines puff and hiss;
And ten to one the chances are that something goes amiss;
And in an instant, quick as thought-before you could cry "Ah !"
An accident occurs, and-say good-by to poor Papa!

Sometimes from scandalous neglect, my dears, the sleepers sink,
And then you have the carriages upset, as you may think.
The progress of the train, sometimes, a truck or coal-box checks,
And there's a risk for poor Papa's, and every body's necks.

Or there may be a screw loose, a hook, or bolt, or pin-
Or else an ill-made tunnel may give way, and tumble in;
And in the wreck the passengers and poor Papa remain
Confined, till down upon them comes the next Excursion-train.

If a policeman's careless, dears, or if not over-bright,
When he should show a red flag, it may be he shows a white;
Between two trains, in consequence, there's presently a clash,
If poor Papa is only bruised, he 's lucky in the smash.

Points may be badly managed, as they were the other day,
Because a stingy Company for hands enough won't pay;
Over and over goes the train-the engine off the rail,
And poor Papa's unable, when he 's found, to tell the tale.

And should your poor Papa escape, my darlings, with his life, May he return on two legs, to his children and his wifeWith both his arms, my little dears, return your fond embrace, And present to you, unalter'd, every feature of his face.

I hope I shall come back, my dears-but, mind, I am insured-
So, in case the worst may happen, you are so far all secured.
An action then will also lie for you and your Mamma
And don't forget to bring it-on account of poor Papa.

A LETTER AND AN ANSWER.

THE PRESBYTERS TO PALMERSTON.

THE Plague has come among us,
Miserable sinners!

Fear and remorse have stung us,
Miserable sinners!

We ask the State to fix a day,
Whereon all men may fast and pray,
That Heaven will please to turn away
The Plague that works us sore dismay,
Miserable sinners!

PALMERSTON TO THE PRESBYTERS.

The Plague that comes among you,
Miserable sinners!

To effort hath it strung you?

Miserable sinners!

You ask that all should fast and pray;
Better all wake and work, I say ;

Sloth and supineness put away,
That so the Plague may cease to slay ;
Miserable sinners!

PUNCH.

For Plagues, like other evils,
Miserable sinners!

Are GoD's and not the Devil's,

Miserable sinners!

Scourges they are, but in a hand
Which love and pity do command;
And when the heaviest stripes do fall,
'Tis where they're wanted most of all,
Miserable sinners!

Look round about your city,
Miserable sinners!

Arouse to shame and pity,

Miserable sinners!

Pray: but use brush and limewash pail; Fast but feed those for want who fail; Bow down, gude town, to ask for grace, But bow with cleaner hands and face, Miserable sinners!

All Time God's Law hath spoken,
Miserable sinners!

That Law may not be broken,

Miserable sinners!

But he that breaks it must endure
The penalty which works the cure.
To us, for God's great laws transgressed,
Is doomsman Pestilence addressed,
Miserable sinners!

We can not juggle Heaven,
Miserable sinners!

With one day out of seven,
Miserable sinners!

Shall any force of fasts atone

For years of duty left undone ?

How expiate with prayer or psalm,
Deaf ear, blind eye, and folded palm ?
Miserable sinners!

Let us be up and stirring,

Miserable sinners!