Did you ever hear anything so widicu- | wekolect-before that morning. But weallous? Just as if her face wasn't much ly she did look so jolly bweaking her egg at pwettier than her back?-Why I could see bweakfast-so bewitching when she just that for I was sitting opposite her. It's smashed the shell all wound with her thpoon twue Sam was just behind her, offering before she began to eat it-I, I weally besome muffins, but you know he'd seen her gan to feel almost thpooney mythelf. Ha, face, and he weally ought to have known ha! there I am at it again: I weally must better. I told him so-I said, "Tham, bweak mythelf of this habit of joking: it's you ought to be athamed of yourthelf, vewy low, you know-like a beathly clown that'th not the anthwer." in a b-beathly pantomime-I oughtn't to have said beathly twice, I know. A fellah once told me, that if-if a man says the same adjective twice in one thentence he's taught ological. But he's wrong-you know-for I often do, and I'm sure I never was taught anything of the kind. Well, of course then they all wanted to know, and I-I told 'em-ha, ha!-My answer was good-wasn't it ?—Óh, I forgot I haven't told you-well-here it is-I said "Miss Charlotte is like a London cabman, because she's a Lotty Chaffingham," (of course I meant, lot o' chaff in him)-D'ye see?-Doosid good I call it--but would you believe? all the party began woarwing with laughter all wound.-At first I thought they were laughing at the widdle, and I laughed too, but at last Captain Wagsby said (by the way I hate Wagsby-he's so doosid familiar)-Captain Wagsby said"Mulled it again, my Lord." From this low expwession-which I weckolect at Oxford I thought that they thought I had made a mithtake and asked them what they meant by woarwing in that absurd manner. "Why, don't you see, Dundreary," some one said "It won't do-you've forgotten the lady's sex-Miss Charlotte can't be said to have any chaff in him. It ought to be chaff in her"—and then they began to woar again. Upon my word now, it hadn't occurred to me certainly before, but I don't see now that it was such a mistake. What's the use of being so doosid particular about the sense of a widdle as long as it's a good one? Abthurd! Well, after bweakfast we went out for a stroll upon the lawn, and somehow or other Miss Chaffingham paired off with me.-She was a doosid stunning girl, you know.-A fellah often talks about stunning girls, and when you see them they're not so stunning, after all; but Lotty weally was a doosid stunning girl-fair eyes and beautifully blue ha-no blue hair and fair-I (confound it, I always make that mistake when there's more than one adjective in a thentence)-I mean fair hair and beautifully blue eyes, and she had a way of looking at one, that that weally almost took one's bweath away. I've often heard about a fellah's falling in love. I never did so mythelf, you know at least not that I weckomember-I mean VOL. I.-W. H. However, Lotty was a stunning girl, and we walked all about the lawn, down into the shwubbery to look into some bush after a wobbin-wedbweast that she said built a nest there, and sure enough, when we got to it, there was the little weddin-wob-I mean wobbin-wedbweast looking out of a gweat lump of moss, and as it was sitting there very quiet, I thought to myself, I-I'll have you, old cock-(I heard afterwards that it was a hen, so 'twas a vewy good thing I didn't say tho out loud, you know), and thinking Lotty would be pleased if I caught it, I thwust my hand in as quick as I could, but you know those little wedding-wobbin web-bweasts are so doosid sharp, and I'm dashed if it didn't fly out on the other side. "You thtupid man," Lotty thaid "Why you-you've fwitened the poor little thing away.' I was wather wild at first at being called thtupid, that's a sort of thing no fellah likes, but, dash it, I'd have stood anything from Lotty-I-I'd have carried her pwayer-book to church-I'd have parted my hair on one side-or-no-yes-I think I'd have even thaved off my whiskers for her thake. "Poor dear little wobbin," she said "It will never come back any more-I'm afraid you've made it desert."-Made it desertwhat did she mean by that? I thought she meant the eggs-so taking one up, I said, "You-you don't mean to thay they eat these speckly things after dinner?" I said. "Of course not," she weplied-and I think I had hit the wite nail on the head, for she began to laugh twemendously, and told me to put the egg quietly in its place and then pwaps the little wobbin would come back. Which I hope the little beggar did.-At the top of the long walk at Wockingham there is a summer-house-though why so 13 "It's only a bird," Lotty said; and then we began talking of that little wobbin-wedbweast, and what a wonderful thing Nature is-and how doosid pwetty it was to see her laws obeyed. And I said, "Oh! Miss Chaffingham," I said, "if I was a wobbin—.” 66 called I don't know, for I've been down | make out. Just then we heard a sort of there hunting at Christmas-and there it is rustling in the leaves behind, and I confess, just the same then. However, this summer- I felt wather nervouth. house is built up of twunks of twees in what they call twellis work-all twisted together, you know, in a sort of very perplexthing way and lined with bark.-Now I think of it I think it's called-wustic work-I s'pose because it's only found near gentlemen's houses. However it's a jolly sort of place with a lot of ferns and things about, and behind there are a lot of shrubs and bushes and pwickly plants which give a sort of rural or wurwal, which is it?-blest if I knowlook to the place, and as it was very warm, I thought if I'm ever to make an ath of myself by pwoposing to this girl-I won't do it out in the eyes of the sun--it's so pwecious hot. So I pwoposed we should walk in and sit down, and so we did, and then I began: "Miss Chaffingham, now, don't you think it doosid cool?" 66 Cool, Lord D.," she said; "why, I thought you were complaining of the heat?" "I beg your pardon," I said, "I-I-can't speak vewy fast (the fact is that a beathtly wasp was buthhing about me at the moment) and I hadn't quite finished my thentence. I was going to say, don't you think it's doosid cool of Wagsby to go on laughing-at-at a fellah as he does?" "Well, my Lord," she said, "I think so too; and I wonder you stand it. Youhave your remedy, you know." "What wemedy?" I said. "You-you don't mean to say I ought to thwash him, Miss Charlotte ?" Here she-she somehow began to laugh, but in such a peculiar way that I-I couldn't think what she meant. "A vewy good idea," I said. "I've a vewy good mind to try it. I had on the gloves once with a lay figure in a painter's studio -and gave it an awful licking. It's true it didn't hit back, you know-I-I did all the hitting then. And pwaps-pwaps Wagsby would hit back. But if—if he did anything so ungentlemanlike as that, I could always -always-always-" Yes, Dundreary," she anthered-vewy soft and sweet. And I thought to myself— "Now's the time to ask her-now's the time to." I-I was beginning to wuminate again, but she bwought me to my thenses by saying "Yes!" interwoggatively. "If I was a wobbin, Lotty-and-you were a wobbin' I-exclaimed-with a voice full of emothen. "Well, my Lord? "Wouldn't it be jolly to hatch one's eggs for breakfast?" The above wasn't quite what I was going to say, but just at that moment there was another rustling behind the summer house, and I thought I heard a thort of thtifled laugh. I started to my feet-for haven't wobberies been often committed in these kind of places? I thought of Wush, Burke, Manning, and a lot of other atthathins, and thnatching up the only weapon at hand-my umbwella (a jolly little green silk one, without which I never go out), I wushed behind into the shwubbery. By Jove! I never did such a thing before; and I'll take vewy good care it's the last time. The beathly bwambles caught me in all diwecthuns-about my coat--about my wethout-about my--in short, everywhere-and one of those confwounded fungus things-a thort of imitathun muthroom, called a puff-ball--exploded under me when I fell, and covered me with powder. I was in an awful thtate. The worst of it was, I might have just as well stopped where I was. There was no fellah behind the thummer-houth; but, confound it all--when I looked in at the window there I thaw that bwute Wagsby in his leather overalls with that beathly fishing-rod of his talking to Lotty. "What's the wow, Dundweawy?” said he, gwinning at me out of the little window. "What's the wow?" I said. Why that's the vewy thing I wanted to know.-I heard a sort of sort of wustling behind here, and I wushed in to see what it was, but I can't find anything at all except a lot of b—beathly pwickly plants and a muthroom that |