fainted, nor swore, nor ran away, nor did anything else that a Christian fool would have done. No: he was satisfied that he had died without being aware of it, and was now a cockatoo of the first feather. Under this impression, he presented himself to the emperor, and it was not until the bamboo had been liberally awarded that he was convinced that he had feet, and not talons. Si-long, a fulsome flatterer, discovered that he was a creeping thing; Tri-tri, an old courtesan, became a spider; and Nic-quic, a lawyer, was converted into a vulture by the force of imagination, and a devout belief in the new doctrine.

Such was the state of things in the Celestial Empire of the mighty Fo, produced by the eloquence of the philosopher Fum, when our "true history" begins.

*

[Gentle reader, ring the bell, and desire John to bring you a "willow pattern plate." John has obeyed you, and, with your permission, we will now proceed.]

On the banks of the beautiful lake Flo-slo (see plate) stood the outof-town residence of Chou-chu, a wealthy dealer in areca-nuts and betel. I had written thus far, when, conscious of my own inability to do justice to this part of my narrative, I procured the assistance of a friend. I trust the style will betray the author, for his modesty would not allow me to publish his name. He writes thus:

66 THIS SINGULARLY ELIGIBLE PROPERTY,

which was for a lengthened period

THE ADMIRED ABODE OF CHOU-CHU, vendor of areca-nuts and betel, stands on the margin of that

which, from its waters, colourless and pale as the

LOTUS

which floats upon them, might be called

A GALAXY, OR MILKY-WAY:

a particular desideratum in this land of tea.
The residence itself is of an extraordinary character,
being TWO STORIES HIGH, with a

PORTICO

of lofty pretensions, the ascent to which is by a flight of steps of the most curious

ZIG-ZAG

construction. A bow-window, admirably situated
for FISHING, BATHING, OR SUICIDE,

overhangs the lake. The arrangement of the grounds has
"TASK'D THE INGENUITY OF MAN" (Sophocles).

The principal walk is intersected by an

"IN AND OUT" FENCE,

for which no reason can at present be given; but an inquiring mind must derive enjoyment from the pursuit of the discovery of its utility. The trees and shrubs are RARE and valuable. The PUDDING-TREE of Linnæus overhangs the house (see plate): an invaluable acquisition to a purchaser with A LARGE FAMILY OF SMALL CHILDREN, as that delicious compound will be always READY for the

The humour (if any) of this sketch will be better understood if the above requisition be complied with.

table. Nor is this the only advantage to the married man. Immediately in front, and in close proximity to the NURSERY window, grows the BETULA, or BIRCH, whose usefulness needs no commendation from the humble individual who pens this feeble announcement. Among some artificial ROCKS, AS GOOD AS REAL, are two rich specimens of the PYROTECHNIC ARBOR, or the natural Catherine-wheel and fiz-gig (see plate), so celebrated in all books on the ARt of MAKING FIREWORKS, in the manufacture of which the Chinese so pre-eminently excel. The residence is connected by a BRIDGE with the domain. There is

ALSO

a peculiarity about this property unattainable by any other: ITS PRUSSIAN-BLUE COMPLEXION!-an advantage which may not at first strike the casual observer, but which to the deeply thoughtful presents an opportunity never to be met with; for, by a moderate admixture of gamboge, it might be made a second

YUEU-MIN-YUEU, OR GARDEN OF PERPETUAL VERDURE. This brief statement must convey but a very vague idea of this elysium; and there is one feature which it would be presumptuous to describe, a feature which has given it celebrity as undying as that of the STAFFORDSHIRE POTTERIES:

This feature is its

WILLOW!!! (See plate.)

"The force of language can no farther go.'

"Cards to view, &c."

Now put this in the past tense, and you have a faint picture of the out-of-town residence of Chou-chu, vender of areca-nuts and betel, in the reigns of the Emperor Fo and the Philosopher Fum.

Chou-chu, in addition to his other desirable commodities, had a daughter "passing fayre," i. e. particularly fat, for Chinamen love by weight and measure. She was a perfect beauty, resembling a feather-bed without a string round the middle, a celestial globe,-literally a whole domestic circle in herself. So much loveliness necessarily produced a multitude of sighing swains, and Chou-chu had serious thoughts of abandoning the nut and betel business, and existing entirely on the munificent presents to his magnificent daughter.

Si-so (for that was the given name of Miss Chou-chu) had, like other beauties, some very preposterous ideas, and one of them was a supposition that she knew better than her excellent papa the man who was most likely to suit her for a husband. Under this impression, she might have been nightly seen watching, like another Hero, the progress of a celestial Leander (in a boat) across the Slo-flo. As the bark drew near the shore, the night-wind bore the indistinct bang-wang of a guitar. Delicious instrument! especially as constructed in China. Three strings tightly strained over a full-blown bladder attached to a cane, constitute this romantic appendage to the serenaders of the Celestial Empire. Ting-a-ting (Si-so's Leander) was one of the sweetest minstrels in Fou-loo; but being profoundly ignorant of those straight-tailed commas by which sound is made visible, I cannot convey to you the melody to which the following stanza was originally sung. The thoughts are beautifully expressed in the original, but, as is generally the case, have suffered much in the translation.

CE-RA-NA-DE.

(Original.)

"O-re ye-wi-te Slo-flo

Ic om-to mi Si-so

Sha min-ye ni-tin-ga le-s-ong-in ye-gro-fe

Op-in ye-lat-ti-ce

He-re me-o Tha-tis

I-fu-ra wa-kei-f no-twa-ken mi-lofe."

(Translation.)

"O'er the white Slo-flo

I come to my Si-so,

Shaming the nightingale's song in the grove.
Open the lattice,

Hear me-oh! that is,

If you 're awake: if not, waken, my love."

Such was the nightly song of Ting-a-ting!-a fitting prelude to that delightful interchange of soul that followed, rendered doubly delightful by the knowledge that it was the forbidden fruit of their young loves.

"The course of true love never did run smooth"

in Europe; and in Asia it has the same disposition to vagaries. These hours of deep delight could not last for ever. One night Chou-chu had the cholic, and could not sleep. He rolled over and over on his bed, in the vain hope of finding a resting-place. At length, exhausted by pain, he dozed; when the dulcet notes of Tinga-ting's kitar roused him. The lattice of Si-so's chamber wanted oil, and as the fond girl obeyed the injunction of her lover, it squeaked. Chou-chu described an angle, that is, he sat upright in his bed. Something was thrown from above to somebody below. Smack! smack!-somebody was kissing the something. It was a bunch of green-tea sprigs thrown down by Si-so, to show that she was awake. A slight rustling against the wall assured Chou-chu that above was receiving a reply from below. It was the branch of an ice-plant drawn up by a thread, by which Si-so learned that her lover was very cold. The reply was a capsicum, implying that extremes meet, for Si-so was very hot with apprehension, for she fancied that she heard the shuffling of her father's slippers. It was but the pattering of the rain on the shingles. Ting-a-ting put up his umbrella,-spatter, spatter! Chou-chu was convinced that all was not right. Another twinge of the cholic aroused the spirit of inquiry within him. He arose, and tied his tail in a knot, that the rustle of its pendulations on his brocaded gown should not be heard, and with cautious and noiseless steps proceeded to the chamber of his daughter. His hand was on the bobbin which raised the latch, . when a report like infant thunder made him start back in terror. The rain had then rendered the planks of Ting-a-ting's boat as slippery as glass, and he had fallen on the bladder of his kitar. In a moment Chou-chu's disorder changed its character: he became choleric, and rushing into the room, he saw— But, like the modest painter of Greece, let me draw a veil over this part of the picture.

* In the East, flowers, &c. are often pressed into the service of the immortal little boy Love, and form a language "sweet as the thoughts they tell."

Time passed, and Chou-chu, wisely considering that to find Si-so a husband would release him from the care of looking after her, had selected one from among the richest of her suitors. But Chouchu was mortal, and his hopes were vain; for Love, ever rich in expedients, had conducted Ting-a-ting within hearing of the eloquence of Fum and the new doctrine. His tail was exalted, and he became a Fumite. In the disguise of a pipe-merchant, he had obtained an interview with his beloved Si-so; and having found an opportunity to dilate upon the pleasures of transmigration, he had the gratification of seeing the two little curls on each side of her head break from their gummy bondage, and yield spiral evidence of her conversion to Fumism.

The happy day (as a bridal-day is facetiously called) at length arrived, and all, except the bride, prepared for the pleasing ceremony, when, lo! the presumptuous Ting-a-ting made his appearance. The bridegroom elect turned yellow, Chou-chu fluctuated between that colour and green, and the rest of the Celestials present looked as though they had taken the benefit of the act, and had been whitewashed. Ere any could find words to express their indignation at this intrusion, Si-so had rushed towards her lover, who, kneeling, transfixed her with his tail, and "buried a dagger in his own heart." Amazement for a while blinded the spectators, and when they did recover their perceptive faculties, the bodies of Si-so and Ting-a-ting had disappeared; but perched upon the sill of the window were two doves of extraordinary dimensions.

Chou-chu fled in consternation, followed by the bridegroom and his father (see plate). Fumism had proved the divinity of its origin; for the faithful pair had been transformed into those emblems of love and gentleness which have so long occupied such a conspicuous position in the celebrated Wedgewood hieroglyph, commonly called "The Willow Pattern." (See plate.)

VOL. III.

CUPID AND THE ROSE.

WHITHER, lonely boy of love,
Art thou wandering like a dove,
Seeking in each grove and dell
Some fair form on which to dwell?
Hither hie, and fondly sip
A parting dew-drop from my lip,
Lingering in my morning cup,
Ere saucy Phoebus drink it up.

Too thirsty me!—this dew of thine,
Sweet Rose, is most delicious wine;
So sparkling ripe, so freely given,
Vintage of morning's rosy heaven.

Ah me! would such but flow for ever,

I'd leave thee-Leave thee, love? Oh, never!
As it is, the vessel's empty,-

I'm off-good-b'ye-I've had a plenty

F

66

THE THREE SISTERS.

A ROMANCE OF REAL LIFE.

I was at Berne on a very particular occasion a very particular one indeed, so that I cannot help remembering it. What object other than most travellers in Switzerland have, do you suppose led me there? To see the view from the terrace? No! To save you

young,

the trouble of any more guesses, I will at once come to the point, and say, that I went to the capital of the Canton to-be married. As the car drew up to the door of the minister-I do not mean the divine,— I found before it a vast crowd of the citizens, who, with shouts and hisses, were dragging along two persons, both and one very handsome -a boy and girl, I might almost call them; I tell you no fiction,-to be yoked together, whether they would or not. Your astonishment will be still greater when you hear that they were our compatriots. There is something about English people that cannot be mistaken; it is not the costume, though that is something, but they are a finer race, an improved stock, improved as all the animal world has been with us, either by climate or crossing the breed. Ask the foreigners what they think of our women; they, at least, are impartial judges. A Florentine of my acquaintance, on his return from England to his native city, was asked his opinion of them as compared with his own countrywomen, and he answered, "The same difference as exists between a lady and a paysanne, hothouse grapes and our coarsest rough ones." He was a man of taste. The delicate young girl who, with downcast eyes and blushing cheek, was pressed along by the crowd, seemed a living exemplification of the Florentine's remark. Don't be afraid that I am going to describe her; nothing is more difficult to define than beauty—it must be felt. It certainly set my imagination at work,-that is to say, I wondered what this strange scene could mean. We were shown into a room, till the ceremony-the wedding-was concluded; and then came our turn. After the conclusion of that formidable affair, I was not a little curious to be informed in what all this popular clamour I had witnessed had originated, and the representative of our sovereign told me the following story; a romance of real life.

"About three months since," said the minister, "there came to settle at this capital, three sisters, orphans. I had often observed them in my walks, and, on inquiry, learnt that they were, or passed for, the natural daughters of one of our royal dukes. So beautiful were they, and yet all differing in beauty, that they might almost have sat to Canova for the Graces. Like his, though he has somewhat violated the mythology of the Greeks and classical authority by modelling them of unequal heights, these sisters three were so unlike in stature and physiognomy, that no one could have guessed their relationship.

"Adelaide was by several years the eldest. Her figure, tall and commanding, and of perfect symmetry, exemplified the expression of Virgil, Incedit Regina. There was a pride, a haughtiness, in her look, in her step, in her every gesture, that bespoke her origin; a sense, too, of superiority of intellect, if not of beauty, that raised her above the crowd. She was a brunette, and the paleness of her