ted the Company, kissed the Bride, and complimented the Bridegroom, he took the Clergyman afide, and withdrew with him to a Corner of the Room, where they soon adjusted the Affairs of Europe, as well as those of North America, but. not without frequent Contradictions, and a multitude of high Words, to the no small diversion. of the Bystanders. When our Politicians had settled all national Affairs, they were fummoned to Dinner. The conversation then turned on the Happiness of the Marriage-state, to the great mortification of Politick, who endeavour'd to turn it into his favourire Channel (for his Thoughts were employed on matters of more importance) by interrupting them now and then with, "Well, but don't you re"ally think there will be a general War? "We don't know indeed," replied his Auditors The conversation on that Subject drop'd with this reply, and Matrimony was again brought on the Carpet. The Baronet trespassed several times on the good nature of the Company in the fame strain, till his patience was exhausted. - He rose in a violent paffion, swore he had rather live with a parcel of Dumb Folks, than such ftupid Wretches, went out abruptly and took Poft 16 Poft for London; and upon hearing that Admiral Byng was arrived at Portsmouth, he made haste to Owen's, and staid there till almost Midnight, in hopes of perusing an extraordinary Gazette. r NUMB. XXIII. Saturday, August 14, 1756. L Percontatorem fugito. Avoid a busy Body. HOR. AST Sunday in the Afternoon I received a Card, which contained the following Words. 4 "Lady Lovenews fends complments to Mr. Babble, and should be glad of his Company, if " he is entirely disengaged. "Sunday, August 8, 1756. The Thoughts of such a Tête a Tête made my heart leap for joy. Where is the old Man who would not be elated to have so obliging a message from a Lady of Fashion? - I put on my spectacles with with unusual spirit, and called for a Card as loudly as Othello does for his Handkerchief. My Landlady, who is a sober creditable Woman (tho' she lives in Covent Garden) and knows I seldom play at Cards, and never on a Sunday, was quite thunder-ftruck at my demand, and could not, for several minutes, comprehend my meaning. - At last she came up fimpering and curt'sying, and faid, "Lawk a daisy, Sir I am vastly forry it 66 happens so, but I vow I am quite out of Cards. "But Sukey is gone to fee if she can rummage " out one." As I was in a violent hurry, I could not help shewing a few figns of impatience, which lafted near a quarter of an hour. A Card was then produced by Sukey, but it was covered with such a quantity of red worsted, that I despaired of seeing it speedily released from its incumbrance. This difficulty, however, was, luckily, foon removed by the dexterity of my Landlady's eldest Daughter. But, alas! her labor was in vain: for Dirt and Grease had rendered it very unfit for my purpose. In the midst of these disappointments, I insensibly fell into a fit of musing on the wretched condition of Batchelors. Had I been a married Man, I should have had a Pack in an instant, stamped and decorated in the gen. teeleft manner with my Wife's favourite Device What : ! What immense Benefits have the Beau-monde reaped from the Invention of Message-Cards, which were wisely calculated by the Inventor to prevent the commission of mistakes by blundering Footmen. By the afsistance of these trufty Mef sengers, Visits are received and paid with the utmost Punctuality and Eafe; for a Lady can now-a-days receive four and twenty Vifits in an Afternoon, without being fatigued with the fight of her Visiters, and pay as many without stepping out of her Chair. But to the Point - I was at last obliged to make use of a piece of Gilt Paper, on which I wrote the most obliging Answer I could frame; and after having twisted my Note like the little Billets which I have seen dispatched. from the ivory fingers of Miss Aimwell, sent it away. 1 When I had finished this important affair, I took off my best Coat, which I had worn at Church in the Morning, hung it on the back of my great Chair, and brushed off the dust it had received in a walk to and from Buckingham House: in the mean while, the Maid examined my chest of drawers for a pair of Stockings of the fame colour. I then tied up my Beaver, but on taking a survey of my Perriwig, I found I had greatly discompofed discomposed it by leaning my head against the Pew, to look at the Stranger who preached at our Church, and therefore defired my Landlady to lend me her Powder-box. Just when I was spruced up, and going to fend for a Chair, a BrotherAuthor, with whom I have the misfortune to be acquainted, very unseasonably enter'd my Apart ment. i of a Mr. Scribble is an elderly, fingle Man, remarkably short, and makes himself look shorter by stooping. His Complexion is swarthy, and his Nose long. His Eyes are black and small, but fo piercing, that he can discover his Prey the whole length street, and is at your Elbow in a moment, when you don't expect him. He is generally drefsed in a full-trimmed suit of Black, a Sword not much longer than a Dagger, tucked up to his Hip, and a Tye-Wig, one of the Tails of which he constantly places before. He has a scanty Income, for he resigned a profitable place under the Government some years ago, in order to live idle, or to use his own favourite expreffion, like a Gentleman. He is a good Scholar, and a sensible Man, but fo conceited, that he thinks he has more knowledge than any body he converses with. He is one of those Persons whom HORACE fatirizes in the half line which I have chofen |