THE OPERA GIRL.

IT has ever been a rule with me, to think the pleasures of this world of no benefit, unless enjoyed. I had two pair of gands d'amour in my pocket fcarcely tried on I went to the opera, finding, my dear Eugenius, that you was not arrived, and faw Mademoiselle De La Cour dance à merveille.

I beheld the fineft limbs from the parterre that could poffibly have been chiffeled by a Protogenes or Praxiteles. I converfed with the Abbé de Mupon the fubject. He faid he would introduce me to her. I waited upon her to her coach, and had the honor of handing her into it. She She gave my hand fuch a fqueeze upon being informed that I was an Englishman, that I felt an emotion immediately at my heart, communicated from the extremity of my fingers, which may be better imagined than defcribed.

She gave us an elegant petit Souper, and the Abbé haftily retired after drinking a fingle glass. The converfation had already taken a turn towards the tender paffion; I was expatiating upon fentimental felicity, and fetting forth all the blandishments of Platonic love, when fhe burft into a loud laugh faying, fhe frankly owned the was not a profeffed difciple to my fyftem, and thought it would go down much better with a fprinkling of the practical.

At any other time I should have been disgusted with the groffnefs of the thought in a female, but at prefent I was difpofed for a frolic, frolic, and gave her a bumper to Vive la bagatelle. I fhowed her my new purchase, and asked her whether I should be in the fashion. She faid they were of a fcanty pattern, though à la grec; but recommended me for the future always to have my gloves à la moufquetaire.

Just as we had come to a final refolution upon this interesting fubject, Sir Thomas G was announced. The fervant attempted to open the door; but finding it made fome refiftance, as it was by accident bolted on the infide, his confufion was greater than ours. He imagining the knight at his heals, did not dare turn to inform him of the impediment, but whispered thro' the key-hole," Madame, le chevalier s'y trouve:" the gands d'amour, however, were come into play, and fhe was pulling one on plus badinant than even the Marchande herfelf. It was when she had brought herself to approve of the fitting that this fatal whisper once more difconcerted the trial of the duke's noble invention, "Cachez-vous Sous le lit, "faid Mademoiselle La Cour.

Was ever ecclefiaftic in fuch a piteous predicament? Sir Thomas G would have been very glad to have feen Yorick in any other fituation; but Mademoiselle La Cour had perfuaded him fhe never had any male vifitors except himself, and to

prove he believed her, he flung a hundred louis d'ors into her lap every Sunday morning.

My mortification would not have been so very great, if an early retreat into the bedchamber had not rendered my fituation almoft intolerable. My rival triumphed over me without knowing it, and I was compelled to perform the character of Mercury, under all these disadvantages, in spite of my teeth.

THE RETREAT.

IT was finely faid of the duke of Marlborough,

that the only part of generalship he was unacquainted with, was retreating. Love has often been compared to war, and with much propriety. When I thought to have carried La Cour by a coup-de-main, armed with les gands d'amour, the commander in chief made a fally, and compelled me to a moft difgraceful capitulation. " "How dif"fimilar to the conduct of the duke of Marlborough "faid I Can this ever be told in my Senti"mental Journey? But I've not abandoned "the place." Juft as I had made thefe reflections, La Cour put her hand down to the fide of the bed, and I had an opportunity of kiffing it without being perceived.

Sir Thomas having, as he thought, fecured the

garrifon, retired from his poft.

To quit the

metaphor, I had an opportunity of making a decent retreat, without danger, about four in the morning.

NOTHING.

ABOUT

BOUT four in the morning! fays the ill"natured reader. What then were you doing "till that hour —————with an opera dancer, a "fille de joye? To which I anfwer literally, "Nothing. No!-Mr. Yorick, this impofition is

too grofs to pass upon us even from the pulpit. "What did you do with the gands d'amour "invented to avoid infection? Did not Made"moiselle La Cour refume her application to try "them on, and make them fit clofe?---If fo, "what was the event?

Once more I reply

How hard it is, my dear Eugenius, to be preffed to divulge an imaginary truth, or rather a falfity? If I were to be interrogated these ten years I could add nothing to the reply but nothing! nothing! nothing!

nothing!

"Poor Mademoiselle La Cour! fays the fatirift, you had reafon then to wish Monfieur "Yorick had been retrouffé à la moufquetaire." But,

Mr. Critic, this is nothing, nothing at all to the purpose. "No more is this chapter," fays the

Snarler.

Why then, here is an end of it..

THE UNEXPECTED

MEETING.

TURNING the corner of the Rue de la Harpe upon my retreat from Madame La Cour, the morning beginning to dawn, I heard a voice from a fiacre, crying hist, hift, hift. This to a theatric performer, or a dramatic writer, would, perhaps, have been a very grating found; indeed, were he inclined to fuperftition, he might have confidered it as a foreboder of future d-na-n; but as I never exhibited upon the ftage, or ever wrote a comedy, tragedy, or farce, the founds were not so very diffonant to my ears as they otherwise might have been.

Turning about, I perceived my temporary Abbé popping his head out of the fiacre window, and beckoning to me. "Heaven! faid I, what can this mean? He is taken up by the

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Maréchauffée, or the Chaffeurs, and is conducting "to the Châtelet or Bicêtre." Not fo: his honeft landlord having given him intelligence that these gentry were in fearch of him, and advised him to make a retreat early in the morning, to avoid