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THE AGEA POEM*IN EIGHT BOOKS,

The author of the Age is about as truth and shame the devil—the aulike a poet as a bubbleyjock is to a thor of the Age, a Poem, is, we have peacock. Down wings, and up tail, been credibly informed, -nay, faint goes bubbley, with intermittent snort not, gentle reader,-a Tailor. We from his long, red, dangling nostril, should like to purchase from him and a bold boom from his whole bo a few pairs of ready-made breeches dy, as if he were sending tidings of compiled

on the principle of his blank his magnificent existence in thunder verse. They could not miss sitting to the uttermost parts of the earth; easy upon us, nor we upon them, whereas, the fact is, that the cook has whatever the material, casimir, plush, issued orders to the scullion for his corduroy, or buckskin. Breeches, in immediate execution for the benefit

our eyes, can have but one inexcusof clergy; and that ministress of fate able and unendurable vice, to be exis even then making a sally from the piated neither in this world nor the back kitchen against the unsuspect- next-videlicet, tightness. Be they ing sultaun who, ere the bell toll for but wide enough, and we are happy. the servants' dinner, will stoop his A man should never know, except anointed head, with all its comb and from a composite feeling of warmth wattles, between her inexorable and decorum, that he has any breeches knees—his neck becoming precisely on or off. The moment his attenas long as her arm-while the neigh- tion is attracted to the fact of their bourhood shall continue in a state of existence, by pinch or pressure, on great and just alarm for an hour af any part of his lower man, he feels ter his last unearthly gobble. Now, assured that they are not the producwe are far from denying that a bub- tion of a great master. We are far bley is an imposing bird, after his own from asserting that breeches ought to fashion; but he is in a mistake about be of one breadth from waistband to his tail, which is not the constella- knee-button—but still the part of tion he fondly believes it to be, while the human frame on which we kneel, he upholds it to the airs and sun when with clasped hands we beshine of hea n. The world is not, seech our mistress to take pity upon as he imagines, lost in speechless ad- her slave, should be as free and unmiration of his planetary system. No encumbered as that part on which we idea hath he of the utter absurdity of sit, when we insert a sonnet to her the exposure behind, consequent on eyebrow in her album. The beauthe hoisting of his imperial standard ideal of all mortal breeches is seen -an utter absurdity, in no way re in a palpable shape in the pictures of lieved by the rotatory motion in which Teniers. Looking on his Boors and he keeps prancing on feet that may on their breeches, we mentally exnot venture, without imminent dan- claim,“ O fortunati nimium ! sua si ger of the retort courteous, to laugh bona norint !. Our author, though at the legs that employ them as pe a Briton, is at the head of the Dutch destals. From the hauteur of his school. Will the Master-tailor of the most adventurous aspect, you could Age please to have the goodness to not doubt, while he is thus treading transmit to us a pair in our next ground in a circle of eighteen inches monthly parcel of other prime articles diameter, that he considers himself a from the Strand ? In them we shall Columbus or a Cook, engaged either outwrite the Quarterly, the Edinin effecting the discovery of America, burgh, the Westminster, and all the or the circumnavigation of the globe. Monthlies! Beside us other editors

But it is wrong to be personal; so will all look hidebound. We, Chris. we beg pardon of the author of the topher North, in our irresistibles, will Age for mentioning him in the same display an elegant ease, a graceful sentence with a bubbleyjock. Let facility, forming a charming contrast us, if possible, be less ornithological, to the constraint and awkwardness and call both men and things by their attending every movement of a Lockproper names. Well, then-to speak hart, a Napier, a Bowring, a Camp

* Hurst, Chance, & Co. 1829.

bell, and other guides of public opi- they are subjected

to regular exercise, nion, less happy in their respective in ascending and descending the path tailors. Maga herself must have a between earth and heaven, They pair of silks or satins and make a breathe empyreal airpresent of her petticoats to Lady

Above the smoke and stir of this dim spot Morgan.

Which men call earth." Our poet's blank verse it is from

How can he do otherwise than choose which we augurso happily of our tailor's breeches. So free and easy-so

to be cheerful, who lives in the clouds flowing and unconstrained! Though earth? A vegetable diet devoured in

of heaven, and on the cabbages of the made secundum artem-yet of him it

ether! Hence the soaring soul of . may indeed be said, in both capaci. Snip-and all his motions brisk as ties, ars est celare artem.We de

those of the briskest of all animals. fy all the world to discover the se

He chirps like a cricket—he jumps. cret principle of his versification.

like a grasshopper-or even like un. What pauses! No matter on what

to a flea. But one solitary instance: part of a line he wishes us for a mo

of suicide among the Tailors is on rement to stop short. If it be even on the very first syllable, the pedes- Certain suspicious circumstances

cord, and even that is apocryphal. trian walking through his poem is

there were attending his demise; willing to rest as on a milestone.

but the result of the coroner's inYou are never at a loss for something quest was far from giving universal to sit down upon, that you may take breath before pursuing your journey. attributed to party-spirit, then run

satisfaction, and was, we recollect, Often about the middle of a long ning mountains high in London. The steep sentence, stretching away up

poor fellow was known to be a Whig before you in formidable perspective, and a Dung--and the Tories and like a mile of Macadam, you come un Flints returned a “ Felo de se.” Our expectedly upon a wooden bench in Tailor, however, is an exception to a stone-niche, and may, if you choose, the character of his clan. He is of a indulge in a nap, or a piece

of bread melancholy temperament. Witness and butter, with cheese. Occasion. the opening invocation to his own ally, the weary reader is relieved by soul, a line of eight syllables, when he had every reason to fear ten; while at

“ Awake, awake my soul, rouse all thy other times, the refreshed reader boldly faces a sudden Alexandrine, Thy reason, gift divine, to waste its youth

From lethargy ignoble, nor permit and vanquishes him with all the ease in the world. Every now and then,

And youthful vigour, slumbering in the

arms_ too, in travelling along the Age, you

Withering, pale, yet fondly circling arms perceive yourself to be up to the

Of fascinating melancholy ;-call knees in prose-but prose as soft as Him from th' enchanted bed, and bid him new-fallen snow, and no impediment

rise to the pedestrian; on the contrary, a In more than pristine energy renew'd ; relief, for it brings into play a differ- Bathe him in the deep waters of the fount ent set of muscles. Then all at once Of holy Contemplation, and array the snow melts, or, in other words, Him in the garments light and soft of Love, the prose disappears; and your foot Pure, heav'nly love ;-then lead him thro? steps glide along the flowers of poet

the paths ry. The alternation is delightful; and So blest of Virtue, where he may collect ere you reach the middle of your jour. The fairest flowers of cultivated Fancy ney, your mind is bewildered be T'adorn his temples, and pluck golden fruit tween two worlds, the one as human To satisfy his craving appetite and as homely as the road between From off the vine of Truth; that heav'nPortobello and Musselburgh, the

ly tree, other as celestial and imaginative as

Whose taste, discernment gives, infallible, that nocturnal phenomenon we call

Of good and evil, substance and false

shadow.' Noah's Ark. We step out of “the

Thus beautified and freshened, let him sing Safety” or “ Fair Trader," and take

A tributary song sincere, a song the next stage in a balloon.

Not all unworthy of his heav'nly birth." Tailors are, in general, a cheerful set of people. Though sedentary, This is serious-solemn-super

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fine. Nothing brighter than this in station somewhere about the fiftieth the whole Swatch-book. Yet is it from the right hand cross-leg of the liable to criticism. As, for example: sky-light company; nor was the specWhen a Master-tailor, or Poet, calls tacle by any means unpoetical. But upon his own soul to awake, in what many as are the Tailors we have relation to himself does he sit or seen, saw we never none,” bathing stand? Would it be thought rational in contemplation, eating the golden conduct in any individual to ring the fruit of the vine of Truth, and sing. bell for a servant to shake him bying in a style worthy of a heavenly the shoulder till he awoke ? It might birth. be so--for here there is an applica The invocation to his soul is suction of foreign or rather domestic ceeded by one to his harp. force. But if a soul be asleep in ignoble lethargy, like that of our “And thou, my harp, assist, and in a tailor's at the commencement of the

strain Age, slumbering in the arms of fasci- of swelling harmony, the theme prolong; nating melancholy, and wasting its A theme more noble, and befitting thee youthful vigour on an enchanted bed, More justly far, than aught which on thy how can it expect that it will pay the

strings least attention to any call made by Hath lingered ; whether it be cold Reitself on itself? Such expectation would be most unreasonable. Se

Corroding Disappointment, Solitude

With pensive front, Contentment calm, condly, who is he in this passage so frequently called uiu ? The Tailor's Stern Hate, death-like Despair, or even soul?--or the Tailor? We fear that

Lovein either case alike violence is here Fond, fervent, youthful Love. Thee, I offered to the English language. awake, Thirdly, What is there conceivable That with thy music, Truth, firm, rigid

more than the pristine energy” of Truth, & Tailor? Fourthly, What authority May find an entrance to the heart. The has he for asserting that the tree Age whose fruit gives discernmentof good To sing I purpose ; with its character, and evil, is a vine and not an ap Its virtues, vices, signs, realities, ple-tree? Fifthly, Though the gold. And vain pretensions-chiefly as relate en pippin deserve that epithet, who To thee, O Britain, isle beloved, my home! ever saw golden grapes ?' And, sixth. My country,—all thy strings to make rely, Who ever saw a Tailor bathing

sound. in the deep waters of the fount of Be ductile and propitious then, my harp ; holy contemplation, arraying himself That should I take a softened note, or

wish in the garments light and soft of Love, collecting in the paths of Virtue the

To strike a higher key, or,-if my breast fairest flowers of cultivated fancy to

Much wounded, glow with indignation's adorn his temples, satisfy his cra

fire, ving appetite on golden fruit from the

Should need thy loudest, most exalted tones vine of Truth, and then beautified and

To sound an awful warning, and to bear freshenedwho ever heard a Tailor

Witness against an age of fools and crime,

Ever be free to my desire, and weave singing a tributary song, not all un

A labyrinth of melody, or roll worthy of his heavenly birth? We

Concordant peals of thunder, long and have seen the Tailor riding to Brent loud." ford-and, considering the freaks of his filly, he seemed to ride with no

Here then we have him-awakecommon tenacity, and to exhibit a and harp in hand, ready to begin. large organ of adhesiveness. We He has invocated his soul and his in. have likewise seen a Tailor bathing strument. Why won't he fiddle ? in a pond--putting on his shirt, You shall hear. breeches, et cetera-chewing a “chit “ Jehovah ! Lord of truth, who art alone terin piece,” of gingerbread-going Mighty and wise, my Father and my into the Shears House of Call, and

God, after a swig of heavy wet, we have Hear thou my prayer. With wisdom fill heard him singing, “ Rule, rule, Bri

my soul, tannia, Britannia rule the waves," And truth and knowledge ; open thou &c., then off like lightning to take his

mine eyes

And brighten my perception; and mine an habitual presumption of the most ear

shocking nature, must be all comUnstop, and give it understanding; warm bined in the character of the person With zeal for thee, my heart with sym who would dare on such an occasion pathy

to indite such a prayer! Poor blind And kindest love, and true benevolence

worm, indeed, to speak of his voice Towards my fellows; that I may exalt being miraculously made“ ravishing Thy glory, o my God! and should my and sweet as ever flowed from harps song

of angels !” Does he think his prayer Strike mortal ears, oh ! let it reach the was heard-because Messrs Hurst, heart.

Chance and Co., St Paul's Church" Guide thou my hand, Jehovah !_and yard, have charitably, but foolishly, the breath

attempted, at his entreaties, to pubOf thine own spirit, waft across my harp. lish this dilution of trashiness ? Let Inspire my touch, and let my fingers thread him shew the passage to any one A maze of sounds as ravishing and sweet human being he chooses—nay, even As ecer flow'd from harps of angels. Asks

to a Cockney—and the shrug and the My tongue too much, forgive me, O my shudder will convince him, that he God!

has been most familiar with most And if on wing too venturesome, my muse

impudent to—his Maker., Shall scale the pure serene, to catch a glimpse

“ But fools rush in where angels fear to Of heav'n and heav'nly bliss, still pardon tread!" me,

“ Should my little poem assist the My God, my Father, nor thy presence blest Withdraw.

righteous cause,he says in his PreHear thou in heav'n, thy dwelling

face, “ I shall be well content.” The place,

righteous cause! Is it thus that the And when thou hearest, answer and for

creature should address the Creator? give,

Is there no difference between the And do; defer not, O my God, my trust.” harp of angels, and the Scotch fid

dle? Is itch on the fingers the same We began this little foolish article thing as inspiration in the soul? Now, in the most perfect good humour; reader! don't accuse us of being too but a few words of a different spirit severe. Think on the nature of the respecting this quotation. The block- offence. Look at the quotation again head is blasphemous. Most impious and do you not cheerfully acknowis the dunce. Steeped in stupidity ledge, that the knout is well applied to the very lips, the poor creature, - to the bare back of such a sanctified when about to put into ink the dri- and presumptuous sinner? We do. vellings of the narrowest and most Our Tailor says, “ I like not the shallow understanding, with the view charge of plagiarism.” Nevertheless, of getting himself, if possible, into he cabbages. The whole Book, though print, by means of some publisher he denies it, is an absurd imitaanxious to get rid of him at the ex tion of the leading idea of the plan pense of some ten or twenty pounds of Pollok's Course of Time. А for his trashy manuscript,-fears not, young woman, whom he calls Thein his shocking ignorance of his own resa, dies of consumption, at the age intellectual worthlessness, to implore of twenty, and goes to heaven. Fifty the Almighty to inspire his miserable years afterwards, she is joined " in doggrel ! There is, unfortunately, not the grove” by lier brother Lucius, one symptom of insanity through all whom she thus addresses: the 6000 lines. He is neither a mad

“ • But tell me, Lucius,--for on earth man, nor-in the strictest sense--an idiot; yet how coolly and unconsci

Number'd threescore and ten, mine, twenty ously he blasphemes! Let the petty

suns,' and paltry versifier-for poetaster is

Both were now blooming in immortal for him far too high a name—invoke

youth, his soul, or his harp, or his muse, for • What changes time hath wrought be. they are all nonentities. “ But the

low,-on earth Lord will not hold him guiltless who What has befallen through these fifty taketh his name in vain !" Ignorance, impudence, self-conceit, vanity, and Or rather, tell the grand result, the end,

thine age

years.

«« Thy harp

The consequence of all these changes vast : from that mystery in which, ere long, How much mankind are wiser, more al the malignant would have been sure lured

to involve it, and against which it is By true, pure wisdom, solid happiness;- scarcely possible for the reputation Less caught away by a vain, glittering of any individual whatever to make show

a stand. That he is a Tailor, is true; Of folly and corruption; more devout

so, we have reason to know, was his To virtue, piety, and God.'”

father before him; and we have The folly of this passage is most

heard that he destines his only son conspicuous. Pray, how could The- for the board. Let not his injudiresa have kept watching in heaven cious friends seek' to conceal that for fifty years over Lucius on earth, which his malicious enemies will which we are told she did, without never rest till they have divulged. being familiarly acquainted with all Better-oh! better far to be a harmthe scenes and characters among

less Tailor-such as the anonymous which Lucius passed his time, by day author of the Age—than the wicked and night ? The simpleton, however, Wellington! The glory of the latter is not aware of this absurdity in his may perhaps be more brilliant—but sister seraph, who thus speaks :

not nearly so lasting-for, in the long run, 'tis the nobler thing to make and

mend than to tear and destroy. Attune, my brother, precious gift divine,

The Eight Books of the Age all And sing the wonders of the Age on earth.

come from the mouth of a Seraph; For pleasing more it is to hear thy voice

and as a Seraph is not an every-day Rehearse the story, than to fix the eye On earth, how fair soever she may be,

person, it is surely incumbent upon And close observes what passes ;_and my

him to speak in a celestial style, and

to eschew doggrel. Instead of that, hours Since that I've dwelt in heaven, have been

our Seraph sometimes sinks in his spent

spouting beneath the level of a meIn praising God and watching over thee,

chanic in a debating radical clubDear Lucius, with affection's anxious and expatiates on themes which we glance :

cannot believe form any part of the So that of man's concerns and character,

conversations in heaven. He is, afAs changed by fifty years, I nothing ter a pause in his harangue, re-introknow ;

duced to us after this fashion: Not even of dear Albion, land beloved, Where often we have wander'd, and to

“ Like as a living bird, that from the top which,

Of some tall monument, regards with Chiefly I would direct thy holy song.'”

The fearful depths beneath, and hops We

request our readers to dismiss about, from their minds all knowledge of Musing, it may be, whence it shall dethe fact alluded to above-to wit, the

scend ; Tailorship of our poet--and with us,

So, for a short-lived space, the Seraph for a few pages, to consider the Age In silence, pondering his thoughts su

dwelt as the work of a man. Indeed, we cannot help being rather ashamed of

blime." ourselves for having made any allu Here the Seraph suggests to us the sion to it at all, however distant; for image of an old jackdaw, leaning his pray, what has the world at large to head on his shoulder, and cocking do with the private profession of any his eye over the battlements of a vilpublic character ? Nothing whatever. lage church tower, doubtful if it may But there is a diseased-a depraved be altogether prudent for him to de palate in the mouth of the reading scend among the horse-dung to a feast public, which let it henceforth be of voided pulse. On farther reflecour business to cure. Nothing can tion, he resolves to remain where he she, or at least will she, gulp, that is is, and hops about the belfry. Our not spiced with the pepper of per- Seraph, who is merely a jackdaw of a sonality; and knowing this, we have larger growth, takes up the topic of been anxious thus early to announce Pride, which according to him is the the fact of Tailorship, that the whole cardinal sin of the age, and he traces world might know it at once, free its operation from kings to beadles.

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