till this terrible fermentation is over! As for the nummum in loculo, which you mention to me a second time, I fear you think me very poor, or in debt I thank God, though I don't abound, that I have enough for a clean shirt every day and a mutton chop and my contentment with this, has thus far (and I hope ever will) put me above stooping an inch for it, even for's estate. Curse on it, I like it not to that degree, nor envy (you may be sure) any man who kneels in the dirt for it, so that, however I may fall short of the ends proposed in commencing author I enter this protest, first, that my end was honest; and, secondly, that I wrote not to be fed, but to be famous. I am much obliged to Mr. Garrick for his very favourable opinion; but why, dear Sir, had he done better in finding fault with it than in commending it? to humble me! An author is not so soon humbled as you imagine

no, but to make the book better by castrations, that is still sub judice, and I can assure you, upon this chapter, that the very passages and descriptions you propose that I should sacrifice in my second edition are what are best relished by men of wit, and some others whom I esteem as sound critics so that, upon the whole, I am still kept up, if not above fear, at least above despair, and have seen enough to shew me the folly of an attempt of castrating my book to the prudish humours of particulars. I believe the short cut would be to publish this letter at the beginning of the third volume, as an apology for the first and second. I was sorry to find a censure upon the insincerity of some of friends my I have no reason myself to reproach any one man, my friends have continued in the same opinions of my books which they first gave

me on them, many indeed have thought better of 'em, by considering them more, few worse.

I am, Sir, Your humble servant,

LAURENCE STERNE.

VII. TO DAVID GARRICK, ESQ.

DEAR SIR,

[About April, 1760].

Thursday, 11 o'clock - Night.

gave

"TWAS for all the world like a cut across my finger with a sharp pen-knife. I saw the blood it a suck wrapt it up and thought no more about it.

But there is more goes to the healing of a wound than this comes to: a wound (unless it is a wound not worth talking of, but, by the bye, mine is) must give you some pain after. Nature will take her it must ferment it must digest.

own way with it The story you tutor, this morning

told me of Tristram's pretended My letter by right should have set out with this sentence, and then the simile would not have kept you a moment in suspense.

This vile story, I say though I then saw both

how and where it wounded I felt little from it at first or, to speak more honestly (though it ruins my simile), I felt a great deal of pain from it, but affected an air usual on such accidents, of less feeling than I had.

I have now got home to my lodgings, since the play (you astonished me in it), and have been unwrapping this self-same wound of mine, and shaking my head over it this half-hour.

What the devil! is there no one learned blockhead throughout the many schools of misapplied science in the Christian World to make a tutor of for my Tristram? ex quovis ligno non fit Are we so run out of stock that there is no one lumber-headed, muddleheaded, mortar-headed, pudding-headed chap amongst our doctors? Is there no one single wight of much reading and no learning, amongst the many children in my mother's nursery, who bid high for this charge but I must disable my judgment by choosing a Warburton? Vengeance! have I so little concern for the honour of my hero! Am I a wretch so void of sense, so bereft of feeling for the figure he is to make in story, that I should chuse a preceptor to rob him of all the immortality I intended him? O! dear Mr. Garrick.

Malice is ingenious

unless where the excess of

it outwits itself I have two comforts in this stroke of it; the first is that this one is partly of this kind; and secondly that it is one of the number of those which so unfairly brought poor Yorick to his grave. The report might draw blood of the author of Tristram Shandy but could not harm such a man as the author of the Divine Legation — God bless him! though (by the bye, and according to the natural course of descents) the blessing should come from him to me.

--

Pray have you no interest, lateral or collateral, to get me introduced to his Lordship?

Why do you ask?

My dear Sir, I have no claim to such an honour, but what arises from the honour and respect which, in the progress of my work, will be shewn the world I owe to so great a man.

Whilst I am talking of owing I wish, my dear Sir, that any body would tell you how much I am indebted to you. I am determined never to do it myself, or say more upon the subject than this, that I am yours, L. STERNE.

VIII. TO S

ESQ.

May, 1760.

DEAR SIR,

I RETURN you ten thousand thanks for the favour of your letter and the account you give me of my wife and girl. I saw Mr. Ch―y to-night at Ranelagh, who tells me you have inoculated my friend Bobby. I heartily wish him well through, and hope in God all goes right.

sor

On Monday we set on with a grand* retinue of Lord Rockingham's (in whose suite I move) for Windthey have contracted for fourteen hundred pounds for the dinner, to some general undertaker, of which the K. has bargained to pay one third. Lord George Sackville was last Saturday at the opera, some say with great effrontery, others, with great dejection.

I have little news to add. There is a shilling pamphlet** wrote against Tristram. I wish they would write a hundred such.

Mrs. Sterne says her purse is light: will you, dear Sir, be so good as to pay her ten guineas, and I will

* Prince Ferdinand, the Marquis of Rockingham, and Earl Temple, were installed Knights of the Garter, on Tuesday, May 6th, 1760 at Windsor.

**"The Clock-maker's Outcry against the author of Tristram Shandy."

8vo.

reckon with you, when I have the pleasure of meeting you. My best compliments to Mrs. C. and all friends. Believe me, dear Sir, your obliged and faithful

I THIS moment received the favour of your kind letter the letter in the Ladies' Magazine,* about me, was wrote by the noted Dr. Hill, who wrote the Inspector, and undertakes that magazine - the people of York are very uncharitable to suppose any man so gross a beast as to pen such a character of himself. In this great town, no soul ever suspected it, for a thousand reasons could they suppose I should be such a fool as to fall foul upon Dr. Warburton, my best friend, by representing him so weak a man - or by telling such a lie of him as his giving me a purse, to buy off his tutorship for Tristram! or I should be fool enough to own I had taken his purse for that purpose!

You must know there is a quarrel between Dr. Hill and Dr. M—y, who was the physician meant at Mr. Charles Stanhope's, and Dr. Hill has changed the place on purpose to give M-y a lick. Now that conversation (though perhaps true,) yet happened at another place,** and another physician; which I have

*The Royal Female Magazine, for April, 1760.

**As the truth of this anecdote is not denied, it may gratify curiosity to communicate it in Dr. Hill's own words. — "At the last dinner that the late lost amiable Charles Stanhope gave to genius, Yorick was present❤