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understood but I have had a droll adventure here, in which my Latin was of some service to me. I had hired a chaise and a horse to go about seven miles into the country, but, Shandean-like, did not take notice that the horse was almost dead when I took him Before I got half-way, the poor animal dropped down dead so, I was forced to appear before the Police, and began to tell my story in French, which was that the poor
beast had to do with a worse beast than himself, namely, his master, who had driven him all the day before (Jehu-like), and that he had neither corn nor hay, therefore I was not to pay for the horse but I might as well have whistled as have spoke French, and I believe my Latin was equal to my uncle Toby's Lillabullero being not understood because of its purity; but by dint of words I forced my judge to do me justice no common thing, by the way, in France. My wife and daughter are arrived latter does nothing but look out of the window, and complain of the torment of being frizzled. I wish she may
ever remain a child of nature I hate children of art.
I hope this will find your ladyship well — that you will be kind enough to direct to me at Toulouse, which place I shall set out for very soon.
I am, with truth, and sincerity, Your Ladyship's most faithful
Paris, July 12, 1762. DEAR SIR, My wife and daughter arrived here safe and sound on Thursday, and are in high raptures with the speed and pleasantness of their journey, and particularly of all they see and meet with here. But in their journey from York to Paris nothing has given them a more sensible and lasting pleasure than the marks of kindness they received from you and Mrs. E. The friendship, good-will, and politeness of my two friends I never doubted to me or mine, and I return you both all a grateful man is capable of, which is merely my thanks. Have taken, however, the liberty of sending an Indian taffety, which Mrs. E. must do me the hon. our to wear for my wife's sake, who would have got it made up, but that Mr. Stanhope, the consul of Algiers, who sets off to-morrow morning for London, has been so kind (I mean his lady) as to take charge of it; and we had but just time to procure it; and had we missed that opportunity, as we should have been obliged to have left it behind us at Paris, we knew not when nor how to get it to our friend. -I wish it had been better worth a paragraph. If there is any thing we can buy or procure for you here intelligence included), you have a right to command me for I am yours, with my wife and girl's kind love to you and Mrs. E.,
Toulouse, August 12, 1762. MY DEAR H., By the time you have got to the end of this long letter, you will perceive that I have not been able to answer your last till now I have had the intention of doing it almost as often as my prayers in my head
'tis thus we use our best friends. What an infamous story is that you have told me!
After some little remarks on it, the rest of my letter will go on like silk. **** is a good-natured old easy fool, and has been deceived by the most artful of her sex, and she must have abundance of impudence and charlatanery to have carried on such a farce. I pity the
a old man for being taken in for so much money man of sense I should have laughed at. My wife saw her when in town, and she had not the appearance of poverty; but when she wants to melt ****'s heart, she puts her gold watch and diamond rings in her drawer. But he might have been aware of her. I could not have been mistaken in her character and 'tis odd she should talk of her wealth to one, and tell another the reverse
80 goodnight to her. About a week or ten days before my wife arrived at Paris, I had the same accident I had at Cambridge, of breaking a vessel in my lungs. It happened in the night, and I bled the bed full, and finding in the morning I was likely to bleed to death, I sent immediately for a surgeon to bleed me at both arms this saved me, and, with lying speechless for three days, I recovered upon my back in bed; the breach healed, and, in a week after, I got out. This, with my weakness
and hurrying about, made me think it high time to haste to Toulouse. We have had four months of such heats that the oldest Frenchman never remembers the like 'twas as hot as Nebuchadnezzar's oven, and never has relaxed one hour in the height of this, 'twas our destiny (or rather destruction) to set out by way of Lyons, Montpellier, &c., to shorten, I trow, our sufferings. - Good God! – but 'tis over .
and here I am in my own house, quite settled by M –'s aid and good-natured offices, for which I owe him more than I can express, or know how to pay at present. "Tis in the prettiest situation in Toulouse, with near two acres of garden the house too good by half for
well furnished, for which I pay thirty pounds a year. I have got a good cook my wife a decent femme de chambre, and a good-looking laquais. — The Abbé has planned our expenses, and set us in such a train we cannot easily go wrong - though, by-the-bye, the d-is seldom found sleeping under a hedge. Mr. Trotter dined with me the day before I left Paris
I took care to see all executed according to your directions – but Trotter, I dare say, by this, has wrote to you — I made him happy beyond expression with your Crazy Tales, and more so with its frontispiece -- I am in spirits, writing a crazy chapter with my face turned towards thy turret. Tis now I wish all warmer climates, countries, and every thing else, at that separates me from our paternal seat sera là où reposera ma cendre et se sera là où mon cousin viendra repandre les pleurs dues à notre amitié.
- I am taking asses' milk three times a day, and cows' milk as often I long to see thy face again
Greet the Colonel kindly in my name,
and thank him cordially from me for his many civilities to Madame and Mademoiselle Shandy at York, who send all due acknowledgements. The humour is over for France, and Frenchmen, but that is not enough for your affectionate cousin,
(A year will tire us all out, I trow), but thank Heaven the post brings me a letter from my Anthony.
I felicitate you upon what Messrs. the Reviewers allow you — they have too much judgment themselves not to allow you what you are actually possessed of, “talents, wit, and humour.”
Well, write on, my dear cousin, and be guided by thy own fancy. – Oh! how I envy you all at Crazy Castle! - I could like to spend a month with you and should return back again for the vintage. I honour the man that has given the world an idea of our paternal seat 'tis well done I look at it ten times a-day with a quando te aspiciam? Now farewell remember me to my beloved Colonel greet Panty most lovingly on my behalf, and if Mrs. C -, and Miss C -, &c., are at G - greet them likewise with a holy kiss. So God
TO MR. FOLEY, AT PARIS.
Toulouse, August 14, MY DEAR FOLEY, AFTER many turnings (alias digressions), to say nothing of downright overthrows, stops, and delays, we have arrived in three weeks at Toulouse, and are now settled in our house, with servants, &c., about us, and look as composed as if we had been here seven years.