IN THE STREET. CALAIS. I NEVER finished a twelve-guinea bargain fo expeditioufly in my life: my time feemed heavy upon the lofs of the lady, and knowing every moment of it would be as two, till I put myself into' motion--I ordered poft hotfes directly, and walked towards the hotel. Lord! faid I, hearing the town clock firike four, and recollecting that I had been little more than a fingle hour in Calais -What a large volume of adventures may be grafped within this little fpan of life by him who interefts his heart in every thing, and who, having eyes to fee, fee, what time and chance are perpetually holding out to him as he journeyeth on his way, miffes nothing he can fairly lay his hands on. -If this won't turn out fomethinganother will. no matter-'tis an effay upon human nature-I get my labour for my pains 'tis enough-the pleasure of the experiment has kept my fenfes, and the best part of my blood awake, and laid the grofs to fleep. I pity the man who can travel from Dan to Beersheba, and cry, "Tis all barren-And fo it is; and fo is all the world to him who will not cultivate the fruits it offers. I declare, faid I, clapping my hands chearily together, that was I in a defart, I would find out wherewith in it to call forth my affections-If I could not do better, F would faften them upon fome fweet myrtle, or feck fome melancholy cypress to connect myself to-I would court their fhade, and greet them kindly for their protection-I would cut my name upon them, and fwear they were the lovelieft trees throughout the defart; if their leaves. wither'd, I would teach myfelf to mourn, and when they rejoiced, I would rejoice along with them. The learned SMELFUNGUS travelled from Boulogne to Paris-from Paris to Rome and fo on-but he fet out with the spleen and jaundice, and every object he pafs'd by was discoloured or diftorted -He wrote an account of them, but 'twas nothing but the account of his mi ferable feelings. I met Smelfungus in the grand portico of the Pantheon-he was juft coming out out of it-'Tis nothing but a huge cockpit*, faid he-I wish you had faid nothing worse of the Venus of Medicis, replied I-for in passing through Florence, I had heard he had fallen foul upon the goddess, and used her worse than a common ftrumpet, without the least pro vocation in nature. I popp'd upon Smelfungus again at Turin, in his return home; and a fad tale of forrowful adventures had he to tell, "wherein he spoke of moving acci"dents by flood and field, and of the "cannibals which each other eat: the Anthropophagi”—he had been flead alive, and bedevil'd, and used worse than St. Bartholomew, at every ftage he had come at E 4 -I'll * Vide S*** 's Travels. -I'll tell it, cried Smelfungus, to the world. You had better tell it, said I, to your phyfician. Mundungus, with an immenfe fortune, made the whole tour; going on from Rome to Naples from Naples to Venice, -from Venice to Vienna-to Drefden, to Berlin, without one generous connection or pleasurable anecdote to tell of; but he had travell'd straight on looking neither to his right hand or his left, left Love or Pity fhould feduce him out of his road. Peace be to them! if it is to be found; but heaven itself, was it poffible to get there with fuch tempers, would want objects to give it every gentle spirit would come flying upon the wings of Love to hail their arrival- Nothing would the fouls of Smelfungus and Mundungus hear |