noble Howe, the noble BURGOYNE, the noble CORNWALLIS, the noble CLINTON, and the other nobles that I captured, or made run away; and the other day, when the THING was bent upon "deposing James Madison," had I not the noble DRUMMONDS and the noble PACKENHAMS and noble COCHRANES to deal with, and did not the noble DACRE begin the THING's naval war, which had been caused, in great part, by the noble BERKELEY? DoN. But the THING may change its choice of commanders. JONATH. No:. on the contrary; for it has now military and naval academies, for rearing up officers from their childhood; so that I'll leave you to guess who it is that will put the children into those academies, to be reared at the public expense, and whose children those will be! In short, all is right for us; and if we had wanted a motive for shutting the THING out of the Gulf of Mexico, that which we have heard from these loan-jobbers would, of itself, have been motive enough; and so, Signor, good day. [Exit JONATHAN. DON (Solus). He's right, he's right: aye, and it is for the good of Spain; it is decidedly for her good, that JONATHAN keep the THING out of the Gulf of Mexico; for if the THING get there, not only is Mexico gone from us for ever, but Cuba also, and that too without any compensation. It would be the interest of Jonathan to be our protector to a certain extent; while it would be that of the THING to reduce us to nothing in the West. ern hemisphere; because she would thereby indirectly weaken the whole House of Bourbon, and the French nation in particular. He's right, he's right. [Exit DON, Scene changes to Jonathan's apartments in the City. JONATHAN and BUCKSKIN at a table with a map, newspapers, and COBBETT'S OLD TWO-PENNY TRASH, on it. [of WAR! BUCKSKIN. What do you say? Do they talk JONATHAN. Ay, and that's all they do, I guess; but, come, now, let us look at the map of the West Indies, and the skirts of the Gulf. BUCK. Here it is, and here are the references. [Reads them as follows.] BUCK. Oh, yes, I do recollect it now; but I was so mad with him for it, that I burnt the paper, and do not remember its contents. JONATH. (Putting one finger upon d, and | Trash, on 27th Dec. 1817, and which paper another upon n) What precious fools we must made such a hubbub at Washington? be, if we let them nestle themselves into the Havannah! And there is that VERA CRUX, at r, you see, where BARING, and Sir BOBBY, and wise MARSHALL, and the rest, expect their CONSULS to receive the duties, to be sent here to pay the interest of the bondholders! BUCK. Precious fools indeed, to let them settle in Mexico with their miners and their Consuls and their calicoes and their cutlery; to wheedle themselves into all the powers of the country; to make the Mexican Congress what their own famous 658 are; and to cause the people to be taxed three parts to starvation in order to enrich the THING'S aristocracy, and to turn the power of Mexico against us. JONATH. Aye, and if this THING be allowed to command in Mexico, will it not soon have fleets in those ports, which are here, you see, so near to the Mouth of Mississippi, which is our only outlet for the produce of the Western States. BUCK. It must not only not be allowed to command in Mexico; it must not be allowed to have any influence there; and, in short, must not be allowed to be there at all, in any character, or in any way; and we must have Cuba, to be sure, and then let the THING get into the Gulf of Mexico, if it can; let it get in, at m, by Cape Antonio; or, if it prefer a double fire, let it enter by the Gulf of Florida. But, if the THING should go to war to prevent this? JONATHAN. I took care not to burn mine; but have looked at it a thousand times since, and always with fresh joy, that the stupid THING rejected his advice; for, if the advice had been followed, our Western States would have belonged again to England, or would have been deserted. [then? BUCK. The devil! Why, what did he advise, JONATH. Why, first he, in the most elaborate manner, gave the topography of Mexico and Colombia, and an account of their products and resources; he then showed how they were calculated to rival us in the export of cotton, tobacco, &c.; he then showed that the acts that we had passed were intended to prevent their independence; and that, mind, was indisputably true; he then called upon England to take part at once with the revolters; and, above all things, to get a firm hold on Mexico, and there establish a power to hold us in check, to prevent the increase of our naval power, and to secure to herself the undis. puted dominion of the seas for ages to come. BUCK. Good God! Did Cobbett say all this thirteen years ago? I should like to read the whole paper. JONATH. Here it is, then (takes it up); and do look at paragraphs 20 and 21, in which, after having shown that our Congress JONATHAN. War; nonsense! It can't go wished to prevent the success of the revolution to war. It has heard of our six admirals by in South America, he states the powerful mothis time it sees that we are getting ready: tives to that wish, and shows what England and, if we could, single-handed, beat it with would effect by stepping forward then, withnothing but commodores, what shall we do now! out delay, and securing Mexico at any rate. BUCK. Very true; and, besides, is the BUCK. (Who has been looking into the THING such a fool as to imagine, that France" Trash"). Oh! by the lord Harry, look and Russia want it to have the Mexican mines! here! (Reads)." While the Congress clearJONATHAN. Aye, these powers, and allly saw that the independence of those other powers, hate the "delivering " THING;" countries could not fail to take from the and they look to us as a check to its graspings." United States the chief part of their export BUCK. Yes, and how mortified the proud" of tobacco, rice, flour, and cotton, those THING must have been, when we declared," staples of their commerce, the Congress "that no maritime power but Spain should" also saw, that a proportionate diminution "have Cuba;" and when we bade Mexico" would, from the same cause, arise in the and Colombia not attack Cuba, 'till an answer" amount of imported articles, which are the came from Russia! "objects of exchange for the products exJONATHAN. Ab, a, a, a, a, ah! from Rus-"ported, and the Custom duties on which sia! How mad the THING must have been!" imported articles form the main part of the BUCK. Yes, and the THING, you remem-" pecuniary means of the United States whereber, would not join us in remonstrating against" with to maintain and increase their navy, and the intended attack on Cuba! The THING" to defray the interest of their public debt; while wished them to attack it, to be sure; and then" congress must have seen clearly, and with it would have stepped in and " delivered" it! "great anxiety, those inevitable consequences JONATHAN. Yes, à la Malta and the Ionian" of the independence of Spanish America geIsles; but, it is now too late for the thing to "nerally, that body could not have seen but do any thing more in this way, There was a with real alarm the prospect of the esta time, indeed, when, if COBBETT's advice had “blishment of a free and independent Govern. been followed, Mexico might have been closely "ment in Mexico, a country bordering on the united with England, and when the former" United States for many hundred miles, might have been made a source of wealth and surpassing the United States in white popula power to the latter, and a bridle, for ages, in" tion, having a capital city with nearly two "hundred thousand inhabitants, abounding our mouth. BUCK. When did Cobbett write about that?" in mines of the precious metals, abounding And what,did he recommend? "in ship timber and in seaports in both oceans, JONATHAN. Why, don't you recollect, that "having, from the very nature of things, the when he was in Long Island, he published at " absolute command of the mouth of the MisNew York, and in England too, a paper, "sissippi, the great and only outlet to all the dated on the 17th of October, 1817, which was "most fertile and flourishing of the United published in England in his Old Two-Penny" States, and, above all, a country which every "interest and every feeling must necessarily "bind in fast and permanent alliance with "England. Sentiments of patriotism and "considerations of duty make the Congress "dread, and endeavour to prevent, a Revolu"tion, which, if successful, would check the "growth of the resources and power of their own country; which would raise up and "establish rivals in liberty as well as in power, on the same Continent; which, while it put a stop to the increase of their own marine, "would create other American marines, suf"ficient to cope with theirs in point of force, "and naturally in constant rivalship with it; "which would make England the absolute "arbitress amongst all the transatlantic na"tions, and which, while it necessarily tended "to enrich the manufacturers, merchants and "shipowners of England, as necessarily tended "to give to the English Flag an undisputed "predominance on the seas for ages beyond "the reach of human foresight or calculation." JONATH. There; don't read any more. Be grateful to God that the THING did not listen to him; for, observe, that, THEN, the THING had not got to Peel's Bill; THEN the THING had its "conquering" army in France; THEN all the world bowed down before the great THING, and no one would have attempted to thwart it in its strides. Thank God the advice was rejected; the THING'S press abused Cobbett; and when he came home, the THING passed an act to banish for life every one that uttered any words tending to bring the THING into contempt! BUCK. And so the THING stopped till France had had time to recover; it stopped till it got into "distress" and till all the nations saw the distress; it stopped till we had nearly paid off our Debt, and had made our navy ten times as formidable as it was when Cobbett gave the advice: the sensible THING stopped till all these had taken place, and THEN it "called the new world into existence !” JONATU. Ah, a, a, a, ah! And now it is trying to coax us out of the mines and the Mexican sea-ports, by saying that our envoy is " worthy a man as ever BREATHED!" as BUCK. Ah, a, a, a, a, ah! And by praising our free-institutions!" JONATH. And our " our great naval power!" generous character, and BUCK. Oh, God! And this is what the illustrious THING, the "envy and admiration of the world!" is come to, at last! JONATH. Why, 'tis all Babel, as Cobbett says. There's WILMOT HORTON wanting to mortgage the poor-rates to get the working people out of the country, while the idlers are kept in it; and there's . and the rest of the canters, calling for laws to put an end to slavery in the West Indies, while they do all in their power to keep it up here. BUCK. And there are the parson-captains and parson-justices, and there was a bishoptax collector, if there he not still! JONATHAN. And there are the NOBLE Lords who are gaugers, packers, wharfingers, harbour-masters, and . BUCK. And the Earl of Rosslyn's children Clerks in Chancery!" Bотн. Ah, a, a, a, a, ah! JONATHAN. Why, the people are so cowed down; they are, by slow degrees, become so abject, and the ramifications of corruption are so extensive, that even these things do not excite indignation; and therefore the system will go on, till, at last, it will come to a French Revolution, No. 2. [liament. BUCK. Not if there be a reform of the parJONATH. Poh! there will, I guess and hope be no such thing. What! do you think that the gaugers and packers will not keep their places as long as they can? And do you think, that those who have the pensions, sinecures, grants, half-pay, church property, tithes, crown estates and public charity estates, want to have them taken away from them? BUCK. Well; but they would lose them by a revolution as well as by a reform. JONATH. Yes; but it is better to lose them next year than this year. No fear of a reform; this country will go on getting weaker and weaker with regard to foreign powers; it will keep on expending, as it now does, all that the THING can get from the people; it will never pay off a farthing of its debt fairly; it has seen us make a treaty, the other day, with Turkey; it sees us getting into the Mediterranean; it sees us safely united with Russia against it; it sees that we are about to expel it from the Gulf of Mexico; it sees its West India islands going to be at our mercy; and it extols our generosity, and calls our Envoy as "worthy a man as ever BREATHED!" BUCK. But, if Cobbett get into Parliament? JONATH. I shouldn't like that, even now. But there's not much fear of that, I hope; for what of the poverty of some, and the apathy and sordidness of others, and the conceit and envy, and........ Enter Servant. SERVANT. My Lord Rottenborough, Sir. JONATH. Ob, devil take him! Tell him I'm coming. [Exit Servant.] The beast comes, I dare say, in the hope of bribing me, being as he is, a great mine-sharer and bondholder. But come, let's go and pick the fool's brains. BUCK. (As they are going.) Whenever one of these filthy boroughmongers comes near me, I think, as Cobbett says of the over-gorged tax-eaters of Cheltenham, that he is "about to pour out upon me the proceeds of his im"purities." [Curtain drops BUCK. Yes, to make the people here pay taxes to send settlers out to the rocks and swamps of Nova Scotia and New Brunswick, to cultivate the estates of JACK INGLIS, the Bishop," in the townships of Horton and Wilmot. JONATH. Townships, indeed! How the poor devils in this country are bamboozled! Buck. And there are the crafty fellows in Nova Scotia and the other rocks and swamps petitioning the THING not to let us carry our produce to the THING'S West India Islands, but to make the Islands depend on them! JONATHAN. Aye, and there are MASSA WILBY and BROUGHAM, and FoWELL Buxton, END. N. B. This MELO-DRAMA will be republished in a pamphlet, in a few days, price 7d.-This will be No. 3. of my Dramatic Works.-W. C. Printed by William Cobbett, Johnson's-court; and published by him, at 183, Fleet-street. VOL. 69.-No. 26.] LONDON, SATURDAY, JUNE 26TH, 1830. An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour; but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.-PROVERBS, xi. 9. Giving heed to seducing spirits; speaking lies in hypocrisy; having their consciences seared with a hot iron.-1 TIM. iv. 1, 2. TO THE READERS OF THE REGISTER; Fairford, Gloucestershire, 17th June, 1830. MY FRIENDS, [Price 7d. the arms of the United States, which would assuredly be the result, if the people of England, the really humane people of England, shall continue to be the dupes of these deceivers, and shall, by their clamours, urge on the Government so to annoy and injure the colonists: as to compel them, for their self-preservation, to become citizens of that great naval state across the Atlantic, which, in spite of England, and partly owing to the mischievous proceedings of these NEGRO-LOVERS in England, is about to become, in fact, the predominating power in that part of the world. It is with the desire of withdrawing you, my friends, from giving your aid in this work of multifarious mischief; this work of private injustice and cruelty; and, if the possession of the colonies be a good, of public injury enormous; that I tender you the facts and the reasoning that I am about to lay before you. But before I proceed further, let me observe how I myself stand as to consistency as to former opinions, and as to experience, with regard to this matter. Ir is now much about forty years since a new sect arose, calling them selves in England, "the friends of humanity," and in France, the "friends The blacks in our colonies are slaves, of the blacks," or, in their language, and I being an enemy to slavery in Eng"les amis des noirs." These latter sent land, ought, the deceivers will say, to. out from the first "national assembly," be an enemy to slavery, and every thing two agents to the great, the rich and going by that name, in the West Indies, happy colony of SAINT DOMINGO, where and in every other part of the world. they caused in one single year more A lazy English fellow, whom I had set destruction of human life, more human to dig some ground one day, and whom misery, than had ever been before ex-I reproached for his laziness; replied perienced in the whole of the West by saying, "I thought you were a friend India islands, from the time of their of the poor"; "Yes," said I," but not. discovery by Columbus up to the day a friend of rogues; and you are a real when these two "philanthropic" mon- rogue, who are cheating me out of the sters landed upon the island, which they, wages I give you." I thought this in fact, rendered useless to France, and was a free country," said a Paddy, well made a scene of desolation which it has, stuffed with beef, to his master in Long with little intermission, continued from Island, when the latter, who had set that day to this. Our "friends of hu- him to hoeing corn, came and kicked manity" have not yet accomplished this him up in the long grass under the end with regard to JAMAICA and our fence. "Yes," said the master, "but other West India colonies; but they are not free for you to rob me." So that in a fair way to do this, or to do some- we are, at the very outset, to take care thing still more injurious to England; how we are deceived by mere sounds; drive the colonies to seck protection in by mere words; by mere noise. 66 MASSA and Bux. O ho! but you overlook a most important distinction : the "fine fellows and the "gallant tars" enter voluntarily into the service; they...... MASSA. Ah! but that is quite another BROUGH. (Aside). Curse their tongues! thing those are malefactors; those MASSA and Bux. (Continuing). They to whom my humane friend BUXTON are not taken by force and dragged away allots that """ discipline" that my friend from their aged parents, the wives of Brougham so justly extols, as a proof their bosoms, their tender babes, their of our love for the white people of Eng-broken-hearted and delicate sweethearts. land, are criminals, mind that! [They weep. BUXTON. Yes, we prove our love for the good whites by our “discipline" on the bad whites. BROUGHAM. What is this adviser of young men, this poor man's friend, this hater of public robbers; is he the advocate of private robbers! ALL THREE. What! is he the partisan of felons; is he the defender of...... COBBETT. Stop, stop! Stop your mouths for a moment! Do you know of no other whites that are flogged? Do you know of no "fine fellows," in red coats and blue jackets that are... BROUGH. (Aside). Ah! curse him! COBBETT (Continuing all the while). Now and then flogged, and pretty soundly too? MASSA and BUX. Hah, ah, heh, high, a, hum.... ... BROUGH. Yes, yes, Cobbett, but, then, then, then, as you must know, when the "fine fellows" and the "gallant tars are flogged, it is for some offence, Cobbett; you must know, and you do know that. COBBETT. Yes, I do know it well: I know that they are not flogged for nothing. BROUGH. Very well, then; very well, then; that makes all the difference. COBBETT. What difference, babbler? The "fine fellows" and the "gallant tars" are flogged for neglect of duty, for disobedience of orders, for insolence to their officers or their serjeants or corporals or other superiors; for which offences I myself have seen hundreds of men flogged; and are not the Negroes. COBBETT. What! are not pressed sailors and militia soldiers forced away from their aged parents, their wives and children, their sweethearts? And where is the distinction, in this respect, except that these are white and those are black? That these have the feelings belonging to civilised life, and that the blacks have not? And have you not seen even local militia-men flogged in the heart of England, under a guard of German.. BROUGH. (Aside). Ah! curse him! I thought they would lead him to that! COBBETT (Continuing). Bayonets ? And have you not seen a man put two years into a felon's gaol, pay a fine to the King of a thousand pounds, and held in heavy bonds for seven years, for expressing his abhorrence of that flogging; and did either of you ever open your humane lips upon the subject? BROUGH. But sailors and militia-men are compelled to serve and to submit to discipline for the safety, peace, and prosperity of the kingdom, and the law authorising their being thus compelled. COBBETT. Who says it doesn't? Who says it's wrong to compel them? But are not the Negroes compelled to work and submit to discipline for the safety, peace, and prosperity of Jamaica, for instance; and does not the law there authorise their being thus compelled? MASSA. Only think of the dreadful whip! COB. Only think of the dreadful cat! BROUGH. But the cat is not laid on without a trial? COB. Very true: the superiors judge |