'em everywhere an' drownded everybody, only just except Noah an' the people in the ark. An' it rained forty days an' nights, an' then it stopped, an' Noah got out of the ark, an' he an' his little boys an' girls went wherever they wanted to, an' everything in the world was all theirs; there wasn't anybody to tell 'em to go home, nor no kindergarten schools to go to, nor no bad boys to fight 'em, nor nothin'. Now tell us 'nother story. "An' I want my dolly's k'adle. Ocken Hawwy, I wants my dolly's k'adle, tause my dolly's in it, an' I wan to shee her," interrupted Toddie. Just then came a knock at the door. shouted. "Come in!" I In stepped Mike, with an air of the greatest secrecy, handed me a letter and the identical box in which I had sent the flowers to Miss Mayton. What could it mean? I hastily opened the envelope, and at the same time Toddie shrieked : Oh! darsh my dolly's k'adle-dare tizh!" snatched and opened the box, and displayed his doll! My heart sickened, and did not regain its strength during the perusal of the following note: "Miss Mayton herewith returns to Mr. Burton the package which just arrived, with his card. She recognizes the contents as a portion of the apparent property of one of Mr. Burton's nephews, but is unable to under stand why it should have been sent to her. JUNE 20, 1875." "Toddie," I roared, as my younger nephew caressed nis loathsome doll, and murmured endearing words to it, "where did you get that box?" "On the hat-wack," replied the youth, with perfect fearlessness. "I keeps it in ze book-case djawer, an' somebody took it 'way an' put nasty ole flowers in it." "Where are those flowers ?" I demanded. Toddie looked up with considerable surprise, but promptly replied: "I froed em away-don't want no ole flowers in my dolly's k'adle. That's ze way she wocks-see! " J. HABBERTON. WALLACE OF UHLEN. Brave old Wallace of Uhlen dwells White of hair and of beard is he, Oft and oft, when his limbs were young, In castle hall, or in cot of thatch, With Wallace of Uhlen none might match. The brave old baron one day had heard Of a ghostly lady, that watched till light So to his seneschal quoth he, "Go watch, and tell me if such things be.' "My lord, I'd fain take many a knock I'll stand the brunt of many a fight, Then up old Wallace of Uhlen stood, And all things holy, all things bright, With only a sword, from his castled rock And with the twilight, dusk and brown Wallace of Uhlen watched awhile The pale moonbeams in the middle aisle, The glimmer of marble here and there, Over his feet a something drew; with sudden Then from the stairway's darkness bleak Out from the stairway's darkness came "shoo!"' "Spirits, I fancied, were airy matter; Lo! the chancel was all aflame, And past the altar the lady came. Sank the flame with many a flicker, Nearer and nearer stole the maid His blade old Wallace uplifted high: But lo! affrighted, the lady dread He drew her into a moonlit place, The scourge of many a fertile plain, So up to his castle striding back, He pledged the ghost in a cup of sack, And roared with laughter when from his rock ANONYMOU MRS. CAUDLE HAS TAKEN COLD. I'm not going to contradict you, Caudle; you may say what you like, but I think I ought to know my own feelings better than you. I don't wish to upbraid you, neither; I'm too ill for that; but it's not getting wet in thin shoes; oh, no! it's my mind, Caudle, my mind that's killing me. Oh, yes! gruel, indeed—you think gruel will cure a woman of anything; and you know, too, how I hate it. Gruel can't reach what I suffer; but, of course, nobody is ever ill but yourself. Well I—I didn't mean to say that; but when you talk in that way about thin shoes, a woman says, of course, what she doesn't mean; she can't help it. You've always gone on about my shoes, when I think I'm the fittest judge of what becomes me best. I dare say 'twould be all the same to you if I put on ploughman's boots; but I'm not going to make a figure of my feet, I can tell you. I've never got cold with the shoes I've worn yet, and 'tisn't likely I should begin now. No, Caudle; I wouldn't wish to say anything to accuse you: no, goodness knows, I wouldn't make you uncomfortable for the world—but the cold I've got I got ten years ago. I have never said anything about it—but it has never left me. Yes, ten years ago the day before yesterday. How can I recollect it? Oh, very well; women remember things you never think of; poor souls! They've good cause to do so. Ten years ago I was sitting up for you there now, I'm not going to say anything to vex you, only do let me speak; ten years ago I was waiting for you, and I fell asleep and the fire went out, and when I woke I found I was sitting right in the draught of the keyhole. That was my death, Caudle, though don't let that make you uneasy, love; for I don't think that you meant to do it. Ha! it's all very well for you to call it nonsense, and to lay your ill conduct upon my shoes. That's like a man, exactly! There never was a man yet that killed his wife who couldn't give a good reason for it. No, I don't mean to say that you've killed me; quite the reverse. Still there's never been a day that I haven't felt that keyhole. What? Why don't I have a doctor? What's the use of a doctor? Why should I put you to the expense? Besides, I dare say you'll do very well without me, Caudle; yes, after a very little time, you won't miss me much -no man ever does. Peggy tells me Miss Prettyman called to-day. What of it? Nothing, of course. Yes, I know she heard I was ill, and that's why she came. A little indecent, I think, Mr. Caudle; she might wait; I shan't be in her way long; she may soon have the key of the caddy now. Ha! Mr. Caudle, what's the use of your calling me your dearest soul now? Well, I do- I believe you. I dare say you do mean it; that is, I hope you do. Nevertheless, you can't expect I can be quiet in this bed, and think of that young woman not, indeed, that she's near so young as she gives herself out. I bear no malice towards her, Caudle, not the least. Still I don't think I could lie at peace in my grave if—well, I won't say anything more about her, but you know what I mean. I I think dear mother would keep house beautifully for you when I'm gone. Well, love, I won't talk in that way, if you desire it. Still, I know I've a dreadful cold; though I won't allow it for a minute to be the shoes-certainly not. never would wear 'em thick, and you know it, and they never gave me a cold yet. No, dearest Caudle, it's ten years ago that did it; not that I'll say a syllable of the matter to hurt you. I'd die first. Mother, you see, knows all your little ways; and you wouldn't get another wife to study you and pet you up as I've done a second wife never does; it isn't likely she should. And, after all, we've been very happy. It hasn't been my fault if we've ever had a word or two, for you couldn't help now and then being aggravating; nobody can help their tempers always-especially men. Still, we've been very happy-haven't we, Caudle? Good night. Yes, this cold does tear me to pieces; but for all that, it isn't the shoes. God bless you, Caudle; no it's not the shoes. I won't say it's the keyhole; but again I say, it's not the shoes. God bless you once more. say it's the shoes. But never DOUGLAS JERROLD. |