COBBETT'S WEEKLY POLITICAL REGISTER.

TOL. 81.-No. 12.] LONDON, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21ST, 1833.

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[Price 1s, 2d.

and inefficient, how many false and corrupt men, have I seen pieces of plate thus bestowed: on how many pig and ox and sheep breeders and fatters, rivalling these good creatures in fat, but inferior to them in natural good sense and fair dealing! Oh, no! Pewter or wood is quite as good as silver for all purposes of eating and drinking; and as to intrinsic value, why, then, it is MONEY, which the petitioners have not to spare, I am very sure, and which, in such a case, it would be almost corrupt in me to receive. As the member who presented the WALWORTH and CAMBERWELL petition, I receive the compliment of an invitation to the dinner as something of which I am worthy; but with regard to the inquiry, and the result and effect of that inquiry, I wish to be considered merely as one member of that committee, the whole of whom did their duty to the people; or, if any one ought to have the pre-eminence in this case, it is he who was our chairman, and that was Mr. ALDERMAN WOOD. I shall, in the next Register, be enabled to name the day and the place and the price of the dinner.

I UNDERSTAND that these good men propose to have a cheap dinner to celebrate their victory over the spies, to invite me to the dinner, and, at the dinner, to present me with a piece of DESPERATE TAX-EATERS. plate as a mark of their gratitude for my defence of them. I very much ap Ir was naturally to be expected, that prove of all this, except of the piece of the pulling out of roaring RUSHTON by plate, which I will by no means receive, the hair of the head, and of sly and nor any other thing which shall cost creeping PARKES by the heels, and the them one penny. I deem the invitation | hustling of Jonx WooD about, as we do a very great honour, shall certainly at- a detected shop-lifter; it was natural to tend, and request as many of my friends expect that these vermin, thus exposed and acquaintances as can spare the time as they were in the last Register, would to be with me upon this occasion; but become furious and extremely tonguey. I will not receive any present whatso-That which I expected has taken place. ever, and, above all things, not a piece Jonx WOOD, snug in his sixteen hunof plate. I have seen too much of dred a-year, eats his fat mess, and keeps pieces of plate being presented, to quiet, like a yard-hog, when he comes make me set any value upon such at night for the swill: you may halfthings; and too much, indeed, not to make me despise them. Upon how many insignificant, how many useless

[Printed by W. Cobbett, Johnson's-court.]

beat his brains out; but to squeak, he must cease to eat; and, as my Lord ALTHORP knows as well as any man in N

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England, the devil can't make him do been crying out against me, since I that, while there is a drop at the bottom pulled them out in my last Register. As of the trough. How often these greedy the means of putting forth their cries, tax-eaters must remind my Lord of they have resorted to Dr. BLACK, who, those hogs, of which he has long been by a long series of tackings-about and so famous a breeder, and a pair of which, of dulness, has, at last, brought the poor such as he once gave to JOHN PRICE, Iold Chronicle to that point, at which wish he would give me, not of his two- the doctors usually say, "You may let legged ones, for God's sake! Not of her have what she likes." I most sohis roaring RUSHTONS, his PARKESES; lemnly declare that I believe it to be but of those honest, and much more more than two months since I so much intelligent four-legged creatures, being as saw a Morning Chronicle, until the of a reddish brown ground with yellow 14. of this month, when a neighbour stripes. How often, when beset by in Fleet-street, who generally sees it on the swinish multitude of tax-eaters at its way somewhere else, saw the article the Treasury, he must look back with a which has called forth these remarks, sigh towards the more moderate herd and, which I shall presently insert; that he has left in Northamptonshire ! and, seeing that there was something It was natural to expect that these about me, he, the next day, got the vermin would come forth with most paper second-hand, and made me a prebitter reproaches. They were lying, as sent of it; and thus, once more, I had they thought, out of sight, and forgot- a sight of dismal old Chronicle. The ten: "quiet as a sow in beans," is an old bare sight of her so impressed upon my saying. You cannot see her the beans mind the idea of her approaching dissoare so high; the food is just upon a lution, that I instinctively run my hand level with her mouth; it is at once nu- into my waistcoat-pocket to search for tritive and moist (just like taxes); she a couple of old LIVERPOOL'S heavy penmunches and stuffs and sleeps; the nies to lay upon her eye-lids. The arbeans afford her food, drink, and shel- ticle to which I have alluded, she called ter, and, taking good care not to grunt, a criticism on the last Register. The there she bides very often till pigging- first part of it was stupid beyond all time. Thus happily situated ten days conception; a sort of hash of churchago, were WOOD (emphatically_called history, bountifully bespangled with John), roaring RUSHTON, and JOSEPH downright falsehoods, so impudent, PARKES. If you drag out the sow, my that one can hardly believe one's self Lord ALTHORP knows what a devil of a when one reads them. The old thing noise she will make you would think said, that I said, that as to the church, that murder was committing, in every “all would be right, if the parsons were part of the village at one and the same "not allowed to marry;" but that I time. When I was at Havre de Grace, should not be able," to make the people rather more than forty years ago, I saw "of England in love with an unmarthe people in the Grande Place, run-" ried priesthood." My readers know ning towards a spot, whence issued fe- well, that I never said the former, and male screams of "on m'assassine! on that I never attempted to do the latter. In m'assassine!" Believing that somebody stating the causes which had produced was assassinating a woman, I ran the feebleness of the establishment, I amongst the rest; but to my agreeable had to represent the change from a surprise, I soon found, that it was a single to a married clergy; and the woman that kept a certain sort of house, great public injury arising from there receiving discipline at the hands of a being a numerous body in the nation, sort of beadle, who had her hands fast whose main business it was to breed to a whipping-post, and was applying gentlemen and ladies for the people to a cat very efficiently to her naked keep in some way or another. So far shoulders. Something in this sort of from my being singular in this respect, way, roaring RUSHTON and PARKES have at any rate, I have all the great autho

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rities on my side; and, particularly, station." The poor Chronicle has not, Lord BACON, who regards this very evil, for she is moving, God knows, fast down of a numerous married clergy, who towards that "bourne from which no must be continually producing persons traveller returns." The passage to which that will not work, as one of the great I have alluded, I shall now insert, causes of the ruin and overthrow of a begging my readers to have the patience state. This old doting Chronicle says, to go through it with as much attention as that " my argument applies with equal they can make shift to bestow upon it. force to the aristocracy of the country." "In like manner, as on the question The devil it does, stupid Doctor! The" of the celibacy of priests, Mr. Cobbett aristocracy have estates of their own," displays his prejudices and lust for which are either entailed upon their "personal abuse on the question of corchildren, or to be bequeathed to their"porate reform. If a liberal Ministry children. When the parson dies, the" continue Tories in office, Mr. Cobbett income dies. When the lord, or the "protests and abuses; if they select baronet, or 'squire dies, the income re- men of liberal, or even radical poli❤ mains. And yet, in the half-German- " tical opinions, to accomplish or clear half-Scotch brain of this murderer (I say "the way for necessary reforms, Mr. it with tears in my eyes); this murderer" Cobbett vilifies their promoters, and of my poor old acquaintance the Chro" denounces those honourably appointed nicle, my opinion about the parsons'-" to useful station. His notions of affair" applies with equal force to the corporation reform are very curious, aristocracy of the country.' After this, and still more ridiculous. he volunteers, as a sort of slavering, "Mr. Cobbett would have two musty following a more copious and violent" antiquaries, a few magistrates and emission from his mouth, the following" judges, employed to investigate the assertion: An economical expenditure "state and amend our municipal in"of the public money will in time cut" stitutions; that is to say, he would 66 up aristocracy by the roots." Why Why" entrust their reformation to the very should it? An economical expenditure" persons whom he has all his life reof the public money would, naturally," presented as the patrons of corporate on the contrary, preserve the estates of abuses! Mr. Cobbett then pours out the country in the hands of the owners. "his last vial of wrath on the members The fifty millions of taxes are now" of the corporation commission, and "cutting up aristocracy by the roots,"" especially on Mr. Parkes, whose name and cutting up industry by the roots at " has been long actively associated with the same time. But, to reason with" the cause of reform in times preceding such a thing as this, with this crack-" the administration or probable rule skulled quack, who has brought my old" of the Whigs, and whose publications acquaintance to the verge of the grave, "on the laws and judicial institutions would, indeed, be to cast pearls before" of his own country and republican swine. The latter part of the article I" America are some proof of his honest shall, in compliment to my Lord AL-" capacity and competency. Indeed, THORP, insert here entire, exhibiting, as "the nomination of the commissioners it does, a considerable herd of his tax-" to revise the criminal and statute law, eaters. It contains the cry of roaring "and to investigate the present state of RUSHTON and of the pis-aller PARKES," corporations, is justly regarded as the who, they tell me, are pot-companions" most honourable act of the present of this murderer of the poor Chronicle," Administration-the names of Mr. who, if she, indeed, were to cry out" Starkie, Mr. John Austin, Mr. Amos, " on m'assassine! on m'assassine!"" Mr. Blackburne, Mr. Serjeant Perrin, would have reason enough on her side." Mr. Bingham, Mr. Charles Austin, The German-Scotchman says, in the" Mr. Henry Roscoe, Mr. Rushton, course of the passage, which I am about" Mr. Parkes, and indeed of all the to insert, that I have lost all "moval" gentlemen on the commissions, being

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proof of the political intentions of the “ potatoes, and inoculation for the cow"Government, and security for an ef- "pox. This week he opposes education, "fective and popular result. We be-"the diffusion of knowledge, corporation "lieve we are rightly informed that the " reform, and marriage; and, neverthe"Irish corporation commission is half "less, recommends the study of the "composed of Catholic barristers, some Scriptures as a means of putting down ❝ of them even repealers,' selected" the church of England !" "for their professional ability and po- Now, reader, what is one to do with ❝litical sentiments. Such is the minis- fellows like these. Get at them with "terial demonstration of real and prac"tical reforms, gratefully received by point of shoe or broomstick, we cannot ; "the country, which Mr. Cobbett de- no practicability in applying the con"nounces in that habitual style of vitu- tents of slop pails upon their heads. We peration, which in rotation he indulges must, therefore, do as we can with pen "in against all public men—indeed all and paper, first noticing, in a sober men, save one, with whom he is never manner, the falsehoods. They assert "out of conceit, namely, himself. It here, that I have attacked men who "is by this habit and vice of contempt- have been " honourably appointed." "ible detraction and vulgar prejudice lash them because they have been dis"that he has long lost all moval station honourably appointed. I trace their ap16 as a political writer, and is read only pointment to their own servility, to their by those who estimate his real power, being tools of the most miserable de"and are amused by his command of scription. Therefore, this is a false"the vulgar tongue at the same time, hood. "but despise his prejudices and slan- The next falsehood is, "that I would "ders. "entrust the reformation of corporations "Like the man who, under the lash," to the very persons whom I have all my 21 was dissatisfied whether the drummer" life represented as the patrons of cor"hit high or low, we may observe, that " porate abuses;" that I would have "Mr. Cobbett hates some commissions entrusted it to musty antiquaries, "because they are paid, and others be-" and to magistrates and judges whom I 46 cause they are unpaid. In short," had accused as the upholders of these "hating with him is the great matter;" very abuses." Now, these are, per"and one reason serves his turn as well haps, the most malignant falsehoods that as another. It is not astonishing that ever were pumped up from the stomach "Mr. Cobbett should revile Mr. Spring of this half-German Scotchman. "Rice, Sir Robert Peel, and the mem- what I did say upon the subject; and, "bers of the reformed House of Com- then, suggest if you can punishment 66 mons, among whom, as a senator and severe enough, and sufficiently degradlogician, he speedily found his level, ing for this lying and mercenary crew: all such persons do in a representa"the persons to perform this task ought "tive assembly; but it is somewhat" to have been profound lawyers; law“unnatural that any man, excepting "yers thoroughly skilled in all the an"Mr. Cobbett, should spend a long "cient laws and customs of the king"public life, now drawing to a close, in" dom; in tenures of every description; "constant enmity to those most nearly “in the rights still retained of all the approxinating to his own popular opi-" guilds and fraternities and chartered "nions. We remember hearing it ob-" establishments. Two men, at least, "served on one occasion, by a certain" of this description, associated with "individual, that Mr. Cobbett hated all" magistrates well known for their im"mankind-those who thought as he" partiality, and deeply interested in the "did, as rivals; and those who differed" well-being of the kingdom; such a "with him, as enemies. We recollect, commission, having the most learned "a few years since, when he wrote, in" of the judges occasionally to advise "one week's Register, against the Bible," with, is what ought to have been, and

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"without any regard whatsoever to any "of the distinctions of party politics."

with the Ministers in London; a scheme, in short, to give us that amiable and Such were my words; and was not simple thing called a despotism; rather this the proper sort of commission? than see which established in England, And what have we here? Probably, I would, as I told the Ministers to their amongst the barristers here named as faces, if I held the island by a string, the commissioners, there are some men let it down to the bottom of the sea, fit for the office, and I know that Mr. and go along with it. Serjeant PERRIN is fit, because I have I now come to the mere reptile part seen and heard him; and, in short, of this article. These fellows say: "it know him to be a lawyer, learned in his" is not astonishing that Mr. COBBETT profession, and a member of Parliament" should revile Mr. SPRING RICE, Sir of great integrity and utility. The" ROBERT PEEL, and the members of other names are quite new to me, ex"the reformed House, amongst whom cept that of roaring RUSHTON; and, as "he soon found his level." Now, when I never heard of them before, though I have I ever, since I entered that House, do not consider RUSHTON to be a fair reviled, in my writings, either of these sample of them, I have a right to con- two members of Parliament, or, the sider, that they have been selected from members of the House generally, or any something approaching towards the portion of the House? I was foully same motives as those which led to the treated, and especially by Lord ALappointment of roaring RUSHTON. At THORP, in the case of my motion relaany rate, it should not have been a batch tive to Sir R. PEEL; my honourable and of lawyers and nothing else. There éxcellent colleague was still more foully ought to have been some gentlemen, treated upon that occasion; and the not lawyers, and one peer or two, per- House behaved in such an unfair manhaps, unless war was to be declared ner, that I was compelled to publish my against the whole of these orders. The reply to Sir ROBERT PEEL ; but never scheme manifestly has been, and is, to have I reviled Sir ROBERT PEEL since I introduce a Bourbon-police into all the have been a member of that House ; towns of the kingdom; and that is what never have I reviled the House, or any gentlemen of estate would never have portion of the House in any writings of submitted to recommend; and what, I mine. On the contrary, I have abtrust, they never will assent to. I am stained from doing that which I should sure that it is not what I shall ever as- have had a right to do, in censuring sent to; but will fight against it, expose members of Parliament; I have laid it it, and mar it, in all the ways that I down as a rule; that, having now a seat possibly can. In spite of BROUGHAM in the House myself, anything that I and all his crew, England shall not have have to say against members of the a Bourbon-police. So far is the country House, is to be said to their faces, and from regarding this corporation-scheme not behind their backs. Why, there as a thing to be "gratefully received;" are many of them on whom I could so far is the scheme "regarded as a take vengeance, and most ample venmost honourable act of the Ministers ;"geance, for the ill-natured and unjust the country views it with great sus- things that they have said of me in the picion, as I have always viewed it; the House, when they knew that I had not country regards it as a scheme for intro-an opportunity of defending myself; ducing a paid magistracy everywhere; but, I never have done this; I never a companion-piece of the "local courts"scheme; a settled intention to root out that species of government, which has preserved liberty in this country for a thousand years; and, without which there can be no liberty; a scheme to bring every parish in immediate contact

have availed myself of this great advantage that I possess over them: my legal right to do it is clear enough; but the moral right is doubtful; and, therefore, I never exercise this power. I have a memory as well as other men ; and it is for me to take vengeance where the wrong has